Now when Blu told me that Felicity-Anne had made a pass at him, my first reaction was to doubt the authenticity of his claim so to speak. I say this simply because although he’s like a good looking guy, what with his baby blue eyes and curly blonde hair and all, in all the time I’ve known him I cannot ever ever recall him being hit on by a member of the opposite sex.

Sure I’ve noticed many women wanting to take him in their arms and mother him cos he like just comes across like this big dumb baby, but I still cannot imagine a member of the British aristocracy, while being shown a house in the historic district of Savannah on a sultry June afternoon, wanting to get it on with Blu. But on the other hand …

Anyway when I pointed this out to him, Blu claims I’m just like jealous cos nobody who is mentioned in Burke’s Peerage ever hit on me, which of course is so true, not the jealous thingee but the part about Burke’s Peerage.

“So tell me.” I go, “did you and her like … you know?”

Blu gives this loooong sigh and shakes his head. “No, cos as I leaned forward to kiss her feverish and swollen lips, her cell phone rings and I bet you’ll never ever guess what her ring tone is.”

“God save the Queen?”

Blu’s eyes narrowed. “Bastard. How did you know?”

I give a shrug. “Lucky guess?”

“Well it took an age for her to find her phone in her handbag cos it was that big and cluttered and all the time I kept wondering if I should have been standing to attention. It’s their national anthem isn’t it?”

I nodded. “Yeah but unless you a British subject and a royalist you don’t do that. I mean if you a Scot or Irish you don’t but I’m not sure about if you Welsh.”

“So anyway she finds her phone,” Blu continues, “and she goes: ‘Hell Oh! Felicity-Anne Cecil-Porch-Porch speaking.’ They speak like that you know, the British. Hell Oh and toodledoo and all that. Then she goes like quite pale and then walks across the room so I can’t hear what she’s saying.”

“Bad news?” I ask.

“You bet, but only if you about been on the verge of seducing yours truly.”

Blu breaks off and I go: “And?”

“And what?’ he asks.

“Why was it only bad news if she was gonna seduce you?”

“Cos the call was from her husband who had arrived in Savannah unexpectantly. “The Hon. Edward James Cecil Cecil-Porch-Porch.”


The Hon. Edward James Cecil Cecil-Porch-Porch.” I repeat, “Gimme a break Blu. You expect me to believe that anyone in England would name their son Edward James Cecil when their surname is Cecil-Porch-Porch?”

“Because the British,” he goes smugly, “and more especially the English, are well known for their eccentricity.”

“Is that so? And by the way, why are you talking so funny like you swallowed a dictionary?”

“Well after spending the evening with Felicity-Anne and James, I’ve made a slight change to my diction.”

“You spent the evening with the Cecil-Porch-Porch’s?” I ask in disbelief.

Sure did.” Blu answers grinning.

“And exactly where was the evening spent?”

Blu tells me, but that’s another story …