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    Things that stuck, good/bad.

    This thread is about something someone has ever said to you that had an unavoidable impact on your well-being. I hope nothing I said.

    For me it was someone saying they hate my smile when I was thirteen or so. I wish it had been something positive, and I couldn't explain why, but I'm still dealing with that one. I couldn't trace whether it's why my face grew so long.

    #2
    A guy told me I had an annoying laugh when I was about 20.

    But also at about 18 a girl I knew said I was beautiful in a really matter of fact way and it was the first time I really believed that other people might perceive me that way.

    Comment


    • Meliai
      Meliai commented
      Editing a comment
      You have the best laugh. Fuck that guy.
      The girl was right though

    • Jessica
      Jessica commented
      Editing a comment
      Meliai to be fair, it affected me so much I consciously altered my laugh at the time. I don't think about it when I laugh now but it's probably different than it was. So.. maybe I should thank that guy :-)

    #3
    Good first:

    a friend from college said to me “I wish my boyfriend walked like you”. Lol. Odd thing to say but it made me laugh. I have two different walks.. unconsciously. One when I am alone at night and another when I am just walking which is very relaxed.

    bad thing: when I was 17 I ran into a girl who had graduated highschool and was older, we talked in high school, she was pretty and popular but never hung out. Ran into each other and chatted for a bit. She Gave me her number and said “call me, we can do something next week.” I got a funny feeling about it and never called. She was beheaded down at the tracks the following week. I trust my instincts. That was the first one I knew that was murdered. Too bad she didn’t have a gun.

    another bad: “you are perfect for me, but I wish your hair was darker and curly and your skin was darker”. That killed it. I kicked him out.

    ok another good to get people’s mind off the really bad. Another ex boyfriend said “you are the best and wildest time I have ever had”

    Another ex: “you are great, I can take you to a wedding and you won’t be clingy.. I can go off and talk to others and you will not freak out”.
    Last edited by Beach Ball Bitch; 11-22-2021, 11:19 AM.

    Comment


      #4
      When I was in my early 20s I went to my mom when I was in a pretty terrible mental state and all she told me was to "get a grip"

      It hurt and I feel like it cost us an emotionally close mother/daughter friendship in adulthood but it was also fine, I did end up getting a grip and have held onto it fairly well after I realized no one was going to help me but me.

      Also I was a pretty textbook ugly duckling, super skinny and awkward as a kid and people always felt really free to make negative comments on my appearance growing up. But that's okay because most of them are probably fat now and I'm not

      Comment


      • Jessica
        Jessica commented
        Editing a comment
        Ugly duckling girls usually have better personalities because they don't learn that their worth is being pretty :-) same here.

      #5
      Oh in kindergarden the teacher told me I had to conform to society, my mom reiterated it... explained later that she didn’t want to see me get hurt as I was sensitive and kind, still am actually. . I didn’t understand what that meant, but I tried to fit in for a day...So I concluded in the end that I was an alien and trying to fit in didn’t work... brought about my love for marvin the Martian. Made me be pretty confident with myself and not give a shit what other people say. . So really it was a good thing.

      getting hurt is unavoidable too... so I go through it and get over it. Never conformed! Someone has to know me well to hurt me though. I can read people really well. Plenty of good times to outweigh it.
      Last edited by Beach Ball Bitch; 11-23-2021, 11:09 PM.

      Comment


        #6
        A very succesful older gentleman (well into his 70's at the time, I was in my early or mid 30's) told me every day he looked forward to learning something new. I was amazed by that remark. Many people his age had already "checked out" and were just existing. I try to live by those words.

        Comment


        • Beach Ball Bitch
          Beach Ball Bitch commented
          Editing a comment
          That is great. I love talking with older people, they have so much knowledge and experiences to share.

          You aren’t far from where they all met in Florida. You ought to participate here more and perhaps attend next years meet and greet. I think you would like the stoners lounge and the chit chat there.
          Last edited by Beach Ball Bitch; 11-22-2021, 06:07 PM.

        #7
        This one guy I grew up around, he was popular and bullied me when I was maybe 10-13, then I stood up to him in front of the class, after that he wanted to be friends. When we were 16 or so, he wanted to hang out/party together but I was standoff-ish... not long afterwards he got all messed up @ a party and drove his old 70s Charger out in front of a 4X4 with high lift and big tires and died... I could have been with him...

        My point is, there is a reason we don't get along with some people, I believe our higher selves don't allow some of us to get along so we don't have to deal with something that is not meant for us in life. One considers themselves weak when they are treated that way, when in reality the soul is keeping you out of trouble you don't need and are not meant for. I had no idea of this at the time, I just thought those guys were right and I was weak and just had to deal with being bullied all the time because it seemed to be my destiny. This idea came from a parent... very pacifist.
        Last edited by Amerijuanican; 11-22-2021, 04:57 PM.

        Comment


        • Amerijuanican
          Amerijuanican commented
          Editing a comment
          When shadiness happens, the universe will reward us in the end, and those who use it against our souls for cheap entertainment will pay. Karma is not a coincidence in life. I've watched people pay here on earth already, it is sweet.
          It usually happens by their own mischief. Lol

        • Beach Ball Bitch
          Beach Ball Bitch commented
          Editing a comment
          Yep very true and I too watch it happen

        • Beach Ball Bitch
          Beach Ball Bitch commented
          Editing a comment
          Another one that stuck with me was last subway of the night when I was 16. Was with my best friend again. An old drunk guy fell off the seat when it stoped. Looked up at me with blurry eyes and said “help Me”. I was about to and my friend said, he stinks of urine, and probably has lice”. I stared, wanting to help and was going to, but at the time didn’t want my friend to think I had lice. Still feel guilty about that.

        #8
        Originally posted by Beach Ball Bitch View Post
        Good first:

        a friend from college said to me “I wish my boyfriend walked like you”. Lol. Odd thing to say but it made me laugh. I have two different walks.. unconsciously. One when I am alone at night and another when I am just walking which is very relaxed.

        bad thing: when I was 17 I ran into a girl who had graduated highschool and was older, we talked in high school, she was pretty and popular but never hung out. Ran into each other and chatted for a bit. She Gave me her number and said “call me, we can do something next week.” I got a funny feeling about it and never called. She was beheaded down at the tracks the following week. I trust my instincts. That was the first one I knew that was murdered. Too bad she didn’t have a gun.

        another bad: “you are perfect for me, but I wish your hair was darker and curly and your skin was darker”. That killed it. I kicked him out.

        ok another good to get people’s mind off the really bad. Another ex boyfriend said “you are the best and wildest time I have ever had”

        Another ex: “you are great, I can take you to a wedding and you won’t be clingy.. I can go off and talk to others and you will not freak out”.
        She got…beheaded? What the f? Under what circumstances does someone in a quiet area of Canada get beheaded :0

        Comment


        • Youfreeme
          Youfreeme commented
          Editing a comment
          Oh, for some reason I thought you lived someone more rural, Beach Ball Bitch my bad. It makes more sense if she was a prostitute. What a tragic story, though Beheading seems so brutal, not something you hear about often~

        • OP1
          OP1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Did you ever find out what this was about? I wonder if a pimp told her she had to come up with x amount of cash or new recruits by date x or else.

        • Beach Ball Bitch
          Beach Ball Bitch commented
          Editing a comment
          OP1 no I never found out and I don’t think it was ever solved.

          Youfreeme I spent my summers in a very rural location in Newfoundland, visiting aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins. Maybe that is why you thought that. I have talked on here about that too.

        #9
        There are definitely comments that people have made about my appearance over the years that stick with me pretty hard. Sometimes it feels like even 100 compliments don't outweigh one bad remark, which is unfortunate.

        Comment


        • Jessica
          Jessica commented
          Editing a comment
          Actually I don't know I agree with this comment so editing to think about it instead. I'm editing again to make it say it was edited because otherwise it looks weird.
          Last edited by Jessica; 11-22-2021, 07:04 PM.

        #10
        I read somewhere that in a healthy relationship, there should be 5 positive comments about the other person for every negative one. Negative feedback is more salient.

        Comment


          #11
          Originally posted by Youfreeme View Post
          I read somewhere that in a healthy relationship, there should be 5 positive comments about the other person for every negative one. Negative feedback is more salient.
          I don't know. If you actually do occasionally say horrible things at all I'm not sure that's healthy. But that's probably not what they mean. I mean if I interject "stupid ugly fat bitch" for every five things...lol

          My dad was listening to this song once with the lyrics "you've got to let your soul shine" and said to me "You've got to let your soul shine, kiddo." I'm not sure what effect it had, but it was funny the way he said it.

          Comment


            #12
            Originally posted by the Riddler View Post

            I don't know. If you actually do occasionally say horrible things at all I'm not sure that's healthy. But that's probably not what they mean. I mean if I interject "stupid ugly fat bitch" for every five things...lol

            My dad was listening to this song once with the lyrics "you've got to let your soul shine" and said to me "You've got to let your soul shine, kiddo." I'm not sure what effect it had, but it was funny the way he said it.
            Yeah, I should be clear, by negative I think it means more like: "I really wish you wouldn't leave the lights on all of the time" or "It drives me crazy that you snore." Not name calling. I don't think there is much space for name calling or personal attack in a truly healthy relationship. That part is totally my opinion. I really do my best to never do it (call people names or attack them).


            I always try to 1. "attack" the behavior in question, not the person and 2. approach the it as you and me vs. the problem instead of you vs. me.

            Comment


              #13
              Originally posted by Youfreeme View Post
              approach the it as you and me vs. the problem instead of you vs. me.
              Yes, agree.

              The worst is when it becomes you and the problem vs. me

              Comment


                #14
                Originally posted by Beach Ball Bitch View Post
                Good first:


                bad thing: when I was 17 I ran into a girl who had graduated highschool and was older, we talked in high school, she was pretty and popular but never hung out. Ran into each other and chatted for a bit. She Gave me her number and said “call me, we can do something next week.” I got a funny feeling about it and never called. She was beheaded down at the tracks the following week. I trust my instincts. That was the first one I knew that was murdered. Too bad she didn’t have a gun.

                .
                her murder had zero to do with you other than you knew her.....too funny...you sure do rely on the shock value of your postings......btw what paper was that story in.. .was her name faith russel?1985?.....kid i grew up with 3 houses over...he is this dude....

                Convicted murderer granted escorted day trip to Moncton area | CBC News
                Last edited by rolling; 11-22-2021, 10:22 PM.

                Comment


                • OP1
                  OP1 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  What Beachy posted is completely relevant to this thread. Not sure what your problem is.

                • Beach Ball Bitch
                  Beach Ball Bitch commented
                  Editing a comment
                  No that was not her name.

                  OP1 ... that is just the way he rolls with me. Rolling it a typo for him ... he meant to type trolling.
                  Last edited by Beach Ball Bitch; 11-23-2021, 11:11 PM.

                #15
                ftr.....everything people say to me sticks....just depends on how good your trash bucket is....mine is good

                Comment

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