yesterday my right arm popped out of socket for the fifth time.
I'm going to need surgery.
The MRI shows the bone is broken, so it did not just simply pop out of socket.
All I could think about as I was suffering, because it took them forever to anesthetize, do x-rays, and put it back into place, was that scene in passion of Christ when Christ's arms were pulled out of socket.
Also, with crucifixion victims, they often break their legs , so that they suffocate more quickly.
So, I offered up my suffering as my cross to carry, especially for victims of war who are wounded, see their friends die, then captured and tortured on top of their suffering, without anesthesia. Sounds like hell!
As I was thinking about the horrors of war, I called my Dad to hear that Russia invaded Ukraine, not long before my arm came out of socket.
Probably just a coincidence that I was thinking of victims of war most of the time during my misery, where my arm was dangling, not aware of Russia at war with Ukraine.
All I did was lift my arm very quickly when a staff was refusing to give me my prescription prn medication. The first two times it came out were from police.
I guess it could be a lesson to grow up , and if I have an outburst of anger, my arm comes out of socket.
Surgery can tighten it up, but the more an arm dislocates, it comes out more easily, so I'll try and get that surgery as soon as possible.
One thing being in a lot of pain makes me want to do, is make less pain in our world, not create more of it.
Pain and suffering is something I will have to offer to my higher power as a cross, as our Lady of Fatima commanded, otherwise it loses meaning.
I'm going to need surgery.

The MRI shows the bone is broken, so it did not just simply pop out of socket.
All I could think about as I was suffering, because it took them forever to anesthetize, do x-rays, and put it back into place, was that scene in passion of Christ when Christ's arms were pulled out of socket.
Also, with crucifixion victims, they often break their legs , so that they suffocate more quickly.
So, I offered up my suffering as my cross to carry, especially for victims of war who are wounded, see their friends die, then captured and tortured on top of their suffering, without anesthesia. Sounds like hell!
As I was thinking about the horrors of war, I called my Dad to hear that Russia invaded Ukraine, not long before my arm came out of socket.
Probably just a coincidence that I was thinking of victims of war most of the time during my misery, where my arm was dangling, not aware of Russia at war with Ukraine.
All I did was lift my arm very quickly when a staff was refusing to give me my prescription prn medication. The first two times it came out were from police.
I guess it could be a lesson to grow up , and if I have an outburst of anger, my arm comes out of socket.
Surgery can tighten it up, but the more an arm dislocates, it comes out more easily, so I'll try and get that surgery as soon as possible.

One thing being in a lot of pain makes me want to do, is make less pain in our world, not create more of it.
Pain and suffering is something I will have to offer to my higher power as a cross, as our Lady of Fatima commanded, otherwise it loses meaning.
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