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    What is your Vice?

    This forum should have like a morality or Psychology subforum.

    Anyway,
    What is your vice? It has to be something you feel guilty or ashamed of though. Like if you are a practicing homosexual and feel no shame or guilt, feel like it's completely healthy and natural, and don't see it as a disorder, don't list that as your vice.

    I think you all know some of my vices, but I just cannot have fun without crystal meth. I can't pray and be spiritual without Tina. Everything is just arid and gloomy without Tina. It's a total joyless martyrdom and misery where I want to sleep all the time or fly into rage.

    When I'm on the magic crystals, I'm the nicest , most meek, humble, non-combative , pious, wise little shit you ever met.

    Those racist comments you heard from me and the hate speech about the prophet Muhammad and Islam was when I was withdrawling.

    Most of the Kami I pray to, including Jesus Christ, Mary, and the Apostles, not to mention Hirohito, Haile Selassie, Malcolm X, Nafisa Joseph, the soldiers of Yasukuni Shrine, and countless others, are not white.

    Yet I venerate them like they are little less than gods and godesses.

    My point being, the hatred and psychosis you see coming from me is NEVER who I am when under the influence of Tina (as long as I don't abuse the fuck out of her and stay up for three days).

    Here's the thing, I invoke all angels, Saints, Kami, and good Spirits to bless my magic crystals and pray that the blood of Jesus would cover them prior to smoking them or putting them into a syringe and shooting up (which I almost never IV).

    I truly believe it becomes sacred Holy Communion with Kami. It becomes a religious experience where doing the dishes or sweeping the floor or working as a paper delivery boy is better than sex while sober.


    Methamphetamine was discovered in Japan the year the Fascist party was discovered in 1919, so my connection to Japan and to the Fascist party also makes me that much more connected to Tina. She has become more than a part of me. Without Tina I am completely dead.

    There is a reason when the Japs first came up with Crystal Meth, they called it "Philipon" which means "Love for work". When I am on meth I love to work, even when the boss is being an asshole.

    On meth, if the boss is yelling at me I say "Yes sir" and say "Thank you Jesus for keeping me humble. Thank you for this cross that I must carry to atone for the sins of the world." Then I go deliver the papers to houses while making acts of love to my creator and Heavenly maidens, singing Hail Mary's as I work.

    When I'm sober at work all I can feel are aches and pains, fatigue, exhaustion, misery, no love for penance and sacrifice, hatred, blaspehmy towards God, and just hate the fact that I was ever born.

    COULD IT BE THAT THE VICES OF BEING SOBER ARE A WORSE EVIL THAN BEING ON METH??? Could it be perhaps that methamphetamine can do some people a little good?

    By the way, I need 24 hour residential treatment. I was signed up to go. Last minute I got rejected.

    Meanwhile, between you and I, I'm getting a quarter ounce today....THANK YOU DONALD TRUMP!!!

    #2
    Originally posted by ill Duce View Post
    This forum should have like a morality or Psychology subforum.

    Anyway,
    What is your vice? It has to be something you feel guilty or ashamed of though. Like if you are a practicing homosexual and feel no shame or guilt, feel like it's completely healthy and natural, and don't see it as a disorder, don't list that as your vice.

    I think you all know some of my vices, but I just cannot have fun without crystal meth. I can't pray and be spiritual without Tina. Everything is just arid and gloomy without Tina. It's a total joyless martyrdom and misery where I want to sleep all the time or fly into rage.

    When I'm on the magic crystals, I'm the nicest , most meek, humble, non-combative , pious, wise little shit you ever met.

    Those racist comments you heard from me and the hate speech about the prophet Muhammad and Islam was when I was withdrawling.

    Most of the Kami I pray to, including Jesus Christ, Mary, and the Apostles, not to mention Hirohito, Haile Selassie, Malcolm X, Nafisa Joseph, the soldiers of Yasukuni Shrine, and countless others, are not white.

    Yet I venerate them like they are little less than gods and godesses.

    My point being, the hatred and psychosis you see coming from me is NEVER who I am when under the influence of Tina (as long as I don't abuse the fuck out of her and stay up for three days).

    Here's the thing, I invoke all angels, Saints, Kami, and good Spirits to bless my magic crystals and pray that the blood of Jesus would cover them prior to smoking them or putting them into a syringe and shooting up (which I almost never IV).

    I truly believe it becomes sacred Holy Communion with Kami. It becomes a religious experience where doing the dishes or sweeping the floor or working as a paper delivery boy is better than sex while sober.


    Methamphetamine was discovered in Japan the year the Fascist party was discovered in 1919, so my connection to Japan and to the Fascist party also makes me that much more connected to Tina. She has become more than a part of me. Without Tina I am completely dead.

    There is a reason when the Japs first came up with Crystal Meth, they called it "Philipon" which means "Love for work". When I am on meth I love to work, even when the boss is being an asshole.

    On meth, if the boss is yelling at me I say "Yes sir" and say "Thank you Jesus for keeping me humble. Thank you for this cross that I must carry to atone for the sins of the world." Then I go deliver the papers to houses while making acts of love to my creator and Heavenly maidens, singing Hail Mary's as I work.

    When I'm sober at work all I can feel are aches and pains, fatigue, exhaustion, misery, no love for penance and sacrifice, hatred, blaspehmy towards God, and just hate the fact that I was ever born.

    COULD IT BE THAT THE VICES OF BEING SOBER ARE A WORSE EVIL THAN BEING ON METH??? Could it be perhaps that methamphetamine can do some people a little good?

    By the way, I need 24 hour residential treatment. I was signed up to go. Last minute I got rejected.

    Meanwhile, between you and I, I'm getting a quarter ounce today....THANK YOU DONALD TRUMP!!!
    Crystal meth is probably one of the most addictive drugs I have ever tried in my life more addictive than coke I first tried it back in my mid 20s (so around 15years ago) when I living in Richmond VA, USA ~ I had a housemate who started doing coke & then later meth (not every day but quite alot over the course of 2months) so it was always in the house and since I am a very curious person I happily tried it alot with her & many of her friends who'd be coming over with it but one night I'd done too much meth & coke it made my heart beat too much like I could hear my heart beating in my ears and I thought I was going to have a heartattack
    I definitely did not want to die from a drug overdose heartattack etc : (

    I never want to experience coke or meth ever again it is too dangerous:-/ thankfully that housemate eventually moved out & later I moved to an affordable 1 bedroom place and managed to finish my BFA course at VCU without experimenting in any more dangerous drugs I thankfully had more chillaxed awesome stoner hippy happy friends so in my life I have enjoyed smoking weed I love that weed is natural♥ and also I don't find it an addictive needy drug I can survive without weed & alcohol.

    I'd say now chugging along in my late 30s I very much enjoy I'd say my one drug stimulant vice is caffeine (mostly tea & coffee) I enjoy it alot everyday especially in the morning I love starting my day off with a cosy cuppa tea (black tea with a some milk♥) overall I have around 3 cups of tea & 2 cups of coffee every day : )

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      #3
      Originally posted by niftypebble21 View Post

      Crystal meth is probably one of the most addictive drugs I have ever tried in my life more addictive than coke I first tried it back in my mid 20s (so around 15years ago) when I living in Richmond VA, USA ~ I had a housemate who started doing coke & then later meth (not every day but quite alot over the course of 2months) so it was always in the house and since I am a very curious person I happily tried it alot with her & many of her friends who'd be coming over with it but one night I'd done too much meth & coke it made my heart beat too much like I could hear my heart beating in my ears and I thought I was going to have a heartattack
      I definitely did not want to die from a drug overdose heartattack etc : (

      I never want to experience coke or meth ever again it is too dangerous:-/ thankfully that housemate eventually moved out & later I moved to an affordable 1 bedroom place and managed to finish my BFA course at VCU without experimenting in any more dangerous drugs I thankfully had more chillaxed awesome stoner hippy happy friends so in my life I have enjoyed smoking weed I love that weed is natural♥ and also I don't find it an addictive needy drug I can survive without weed & alcohol.

      I'd say now chugging along in my late 30s I very much enjoy I'd say my one drug stimulant vice is caffeine (mostly tea & coffee) I enjoy it alot everyday especially in the morning I love starting my day off with a cosy cuppa tea (black tea with a some milk♥) overall I have around 3 cups of tea & 2 cups of coffee every day : )
      Quitting Meth is easy. I've quit a hundred times! LOL

      The hard part is to actually quit for a substantial amount of time. I did make it a year and a half once. Then some girl takes me out to subway five years ago , and I don't even know her name. I literally was walking and she shows up beside me talking to herself. I can't remember what she was even saying actually.

      But we wound up in Subway and I thought she was an attractive Hispanic girl but seemed like she was mentally ill like me, so I felt compassion for her and went back to her place with her. Without warning she began to load and hit her bubble.

      She offered it to me. At first I said no. Then got a bad case of the "Fuck its!" and asked her if I could hit it. Pretty soon it was feeling like the best day of my life. I been hooked on it ever since.

      I congratulate you on kicking such an extremely addictive drug. I never have experienced a bad trip or overdose on it though.

      On cocaine I have had multiple times my heart was pounding so hard I thought I would die. I haven't used cocaine in over ten years.


      Thing with meth is, it's a very difficult drug to die of an overdose on unless you mix it with other drugs. It's why you hear of famous people dying of Opiod or cocaine overdoses so much but never hear of one of them dying of a meth overdose.

      But I'm so glad you got off that meth. Never let anything positive I say about that drug cause you to think it isn't bad or that maybe you can try it again. I would hate to have it on my conscience that I caused you to return to such an addictive drug.

      It will ruin your life.

      I'm trying to get a new apartment because I'm right next to my dealer, literally his door isn't more than 10 feet from mine. It's going to be so hard for me to quit as long as I live next to him.

      Stay healthy!

      Comment


        #4
        hi ill Duce thank you very much for your private message♥ I very much enjoyed your youtube vid I can see hear that everything you've said is very honest genuine shared from your heart & soul ~ I think my best advice for you is moderation especially with any drugs you are doing ~ if you want to stop all the drugs, it is good that you've mentioned already in your vid that you know you're unbalanced therefore that's very good that you are aware of what you are doing so I believe you will make the correct decisions for the best possible choices in your life.
        As you also mentioned in your vid you've considered going to a rehab place: ) whether you choose to go to a rehab place or choose to on your own stop all the drugs (which is seems in your case good to try consider stopping doing meth) I think you have enough will-power & mental discipline to take a break from meth and even actually stop doing meth ~ if you decide to stop doing meth, use your money to spend it on good healthy foods : ) eating & drinking healthily is good for your mind body & soul😇
        Also simply drinking water every day is very healthy here's a good article for all the health benefits of drinking water:
        https://www.healthline.com/health/fo...portant#energy

        I will keep you in my loving prayers♥ that you will make the best decisions in your life to have a healthy good life😇

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by niftypebble21 View Post
          ... I'd say now chugging along in my late 30s I very much enjoy I'd say my one drug stimulant vice is caffeine (mostly tea & coffee) I enjoy it alot everyday especially in the morning I love starting my day off with a cosy cuppa tea (black tea with a some milk♥) overall I have around 3 cups of tea & 2 cups of coffee every day : )
          I'm the same way when it comes to coffee and tea - especially when I first wake up. Thing is, I sometimes feel totally wired after too much coffee/tea - so yeah, it can totally become a vice. All things in moderation.... that's what I always say to myself when I notice I'm getting too fond of a substance. Strange thing is that I can buy a 6 pack of Heineken, and it will last me a whole week. So it seems like alcohol is not a problem for me, but I have to watch out big time when it comes to caffeine :-)

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by ill Duce View Post
            This forum should have like a morality or Psychology subforum.
            i think those topics are closest linked to Philosophy and Metaphysics, which we do have.. Morality is often going to be a philosophical subject, or a religious one.

            Comment


              #7
              Shooting people fer sport

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