Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

The agony, ecstasy , and virtuous fruits of panhandling. Beggar vocation benefits!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    The agony, ecstasy , and virtuous fruits of panhandling. Beggar vocation benefits!

    My response to this post inspired this thread:


    Originally posted by Verbe View Post
    Duce, maybe you're too high all the time to realize it but you're not destined to be a tweaker. You have unfortunately been dealt an unfair hand that took someone brimming with potential to basically what I would assess as a feral human.

    Look at your posts. Yeah I mean, you're talking crazy but I know you know that. Your sentences are structured, colour coded and emphasized for meaning. Don't for a fucking second tell me you're destined to be a fucking loser drug addict. You know you're not. Honestly. Unfortunately we all have to find meaning in life. You just haven't found your meaning. But it's sure as shit not being a fucking degenerate tweaker loser. No.
    I love your posts. You should post on my threads more often. I like your style. .

    However, I'd rather be a tweaker "loser" according to your standards of "loser" whose out and about , waving and smiling and blessing everyone and flooded with positive thoughts, printing out images at the Library of heroes to enshrine as Kami and pay homage to, praising Jesus, Caesar Mussolini the Benevolent Dictator, Denise Naslund and the Capitol Hill Queens, telling them frequently how much I love them and greeting them with loving tender words of praise and exaltation, than be a sober loser who lays in bed all day hating God and longing for death!

    I'd rather be a tweaker "loser" by your definition who rides his bike to war memorials, shrines to the war dead, Capitol Hill, Cathedral, Churches, and cemeteries to pray for, bless, and pay homage to the dead, and ask God to grant them all the first degree of beauty, power glory , perfection, and incessant euphoria, Spiritual ecstasy, and maddening pleasure, than laying in bed sober angry at my mother for not aborting me. (My mother was in med school when she got pregnant with me and it was recommended that she not "keep the fetus.". I have told her choosing life was the cruel and wrong decision!)

    I'd rather be a tweaker "loser" who is kind to people, waves at everyone in traffic, and blesses them with my whole heart and great unshakable faith (whether they give me money or not), blessing everyone i come into contact with from the heart, than be home exhausted and bedridden, full of negativity, despair, and faithless. Panhandling to support my meth addiction taught me more than any job, and I have had many.

    Panhandling taught me to love ethnic minorities and Muslims. Most of my donations come from minorities , but I have dealt with racism, theft, and aggression against me from minorities that once left me with racist sentiments. Panhandling purified me of racism, because I realized I can't condemn a group of people when so many of them are my benefactors and kind/charitable to me.

    Also, panhandling taught me to be humble. I can't be proud when I'm a beggar. People have thrown water and pop on me and shouted "get a job you fucker". It sounds bad but it's actually good. It destroys my pride and ego!

    It teaches me patience. I am more free than the miserable people who torment and bully me, because nobody who is mentally, emotionally, and spiritually mature wakes up in the morning and decides " I feel so good about life I'm gonna go throw water on a beggar in the middle of winter and chuck a can of coke at his head."


    Miserable , immature, Spiritually bankrupt, childish people do deeds of cruelty to others or to animals. They are not free but in prison. They are suffering. They are more poor than the beggar that they persecute for no reason.

    Don't get me wrong, when it first happened, I charged the vehicle and said, "you better have a gun and blow my brains out now you filthy cocksuckers, or Ill find a way to blow your brains out, fracture your skulls with a crobar, or slit your throats!!!"

    But after the rage left, I realized " they should be pitied and need love , not hate. Revenge accomplishes nothing". So, I'm able to forgive them.

    When someone asks me to get a job, I ask them to please hire me to shovel snow, mow their lawn, or something. They look dumbfounded. One of them did put me to work remodeling a home twice. I made a hundred bucks and he gave me a new bike.

    Without addiction to methamphetamine, I never would have panhandled and learned all these lessons. I can't tell you how much a smile from somebody who hands me money or food can totally make my day and be remembered and cherished sometimes forever. I always say, "wonderful! Thank you so much! God bless you!" ??

    Also, I live in the city with the highest population of Somalian immigrants. I was against Islamic immigration, but so many of my benefactors are Somalian Muslim women who seem about as humble, gentle, and kind as mother Teresa of Calcutta with the purity of an Angel. They seem like they would make way better wives than the average American-born Christian or secular woman.

    Click image for larger version

Name:	d5cca2e17a837e6447cf1b5e218c92f4.jpg
Views:	128
Size:	143.0 KB
ID:	104484 Click image for larger version

Name:	8Jawahir Ahmed_miss Somali_2013.jpg
Views:	46
Size:	146.0 KB
ID:	104485 Click image for larger version

Name:	1aafbb35e47c404b0aabdf0d52f75b62.jpg
Views:	47
Size:	57.4 KB
ID:	104486 Click image for larger version

Name:	D06rHu4X4AI6F_1.jpg
Views:	47
Size:	33.8 KB
ID:	104487

    Were it not for Crystal Meth I wouldn't have this coat, which I wouldn't sell for a thousand dollars , because it was clearly a gift from Emperor Hirohito and a big sign. Had I been without my magic "go fast" crystals, I would not have made it to 7:00 AM Mass , and found it outside the Church on the sidewalk right after receiving Holy Communion and offering the treasures of Holy Eucharist to Hirohito, the soldiers enshrined at Yasukuni, and the future of the land of the rising sun, where my Shinto Religion comes from, and where Crystal meth was first discovered in 1919, same year as the Fascist party.

    The Jacket has the Japanese Flag and an H beneath it. In my journal, hours before finding the coat, instead of writing Hirohito, in my letters to the Emperor, I just wrote H.:


    Before I started to use meth daily , I was such a hopeless alcoholic, people called me "Santino" because I drank hand sanitizer. I got little exercise, was a glutton, and had a pot belly. Now I get lots of exercise and have a six pack abdomen. (granted, I'm not far from being a candidate to star in a film as an Auschwitz victim , but I prefer that over a pot belly. ).

    But panhandling and my addiction has been a journey I wouldn't trade for a house on the lake, a degree , a sportscar, or a Yacht.

    Because of my addiction, I met my best friend who is black, and the only person who isn't a mental health worker who I trust. When one of his hommies stole my phone, wallet, and backpack, I gave him the description of the thief and he tracked him down and got my stuff back.

    When his brother got shot and killed last July 29th, (Mussolini's birthday)


    Click image for larger version

Name:	maxresdefault.jpg
Views:	46
Size:	224.0 KB
ID:	104488 I was there for him to hold him as he wept deep tears of sorrow and raw emotions. I helped him out financially so he could make T-shirts in honor of his brother and afford some medicine to kill the pain , and he kept hugging me and saying "Thank you".

    I wouldn't trade such an experience for a sportscar or house. Without being an addict I would have had nothing to do with him.

    The day after his death, the liturgical reading was about Lazarus dying and Jesus told his sister Martha " your brother lives". I told my neighbor the reading at mass following his brother's death, contained the words "your brother lives", and he said that was precisely what he needed to hear.

    ​​​​​
    Anyway, Panhandling purified me of racism and Islamaphobia! It taught me humility and patience. I know that to be true without a doubt!


    Recently I panhandled for almost two hours and made nothing. I was able to praise God for nothing , just like I praise him when someone hands me a 20 or 50. Nothing was God's gift for me then, and I grow from disappointment, and nothing becomes rich!

    The next time was abundant. . Being a beggar has lead me to an inexhaustible gold mine of grace, wisdom, and virtue!

    Peace and good will to you all gentle readers ?? and I send you a Benito (Benito means blessing) from my heart, begging with fervent petition that the Kami, Saints, Angels, the Caesar, the Christ, and the great all-knowing, omnipresent, Creator Spirit would richly bless, heal, enlighten, guide, protect, and fill with euphoria whoever read this OP, that it not be a total waste of their time or mislead anyone!?

    ??

    #2
    The second video at the bottom I was too high on meth , but it's definitely worth watching actually. Not all my YouTube's are worth watching, but that one is, especially the part about Saint Therese, the little flower (who Mother Teresa was named after and took as her model and patron Saint.)

    I rarely get intense euphoric off it , because that is what causes saliva glands to dry (cotton mouth) and tooth decay + is a waste of the drug. But, in that video I was a bit gacked lol! ??

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by ill Duce View Post
      The second video at the bottom I was too high on meth , but it's definitely worth watching actually. Not all my YouTube's are worth watching, but that one is, especially the part about Saint Therese, the little flower (who Mother Teresa was named after and took as her model and patron Saint.)
      Matthew Mussolini I'm surprised you know this - most people don't... haha. Bottom line, Mother Teresa was not using meth to help her help the world. She did it w/prayer and action. And she had her critics big time. Always gonna be haters in the world. Surround yourself with the opposite. And cut down on the meth!

      Click image for larger version

Name:	Mother9.jpg
Views:	40
Size:	12.8 KB
ID:	104521




      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by ill Duce View Post
        My response to this post inspired this thread:



        I love your posts. You should post on my threads more often. I like your style. .
        It's Fae, Duce. I have a new username but I don't post on here anymore. I just see what's happening to you and it makes me sad. If you lived in my city you'd be a person who would be the kind of person that would gravitate to me because I have compassion and I don't avoid eye contact with homeless/street people. So it's partly selfish, I guess. But I think you're an interesting case, I mean you've done and seen some fucked up things but I know you know that you're a good person. And I'm sorry that you feel like you're not and that no one tells you enough
        ​​

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Verbe View Post

          It's Fae, Duce. I have a new username but I don't post on here anymore. I just see what's happening to you and it makes me sad. If you lived in my city you'd be a person who would be the kind of person that would gravitate to me because I have compassion and I don't avoid eye contact with homeless/street people. So it's partly selfish, I guess. But I think you're an interesting case, I mean you've done and seen some fucked up things but I know you know that you're a good person. And I'm sorry that you feel like you're not and that no one tells you enough
          ​​
          I knew it was you:-) welcome back and feel free to post wherever you want. People have been saying good things about you and miss you. Hope everything is going well. Love you. Smooches

          Comment


            #6

            Comment

            Working...
            X