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I'm raising money to be the Antichrist! Every Pence counts!

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    I'm raising money to be the Antichrist! Every Pence counts!




    What would you do if you got a letter from Jesus saying you were selected to be the Antichrist and it contained the perfect set of words no one should know about you to convince you that it was legit, with a check for 50 dollars to get your started. And suddenly you realized you could accomplish all sorts of sign and wonders?

    You will rule the world. What are some changes you would make?

    First , I'd tell God "Fuck you!"

    But if it became increasingly clear that it was kinda impossible to resist, I might....

    At least I wouldn't be like those cult leaders who tell people they have to go do a bunch of shit to achieve grace or salvation (and when I say I'm infallible or you have to save your soul, it is in jest). Please everyone reading this, if I ever say I'm a Prophet or you have to listen to me or suffer some great chastisement, please don't listen to me! If you do, you're an idiot!

    That's what I'll say as the Antichrist (were God to pick me). I hope and pray that will always be my attitude even if the Devil were to make me the Antichrist (which he'd find someone who can actually finish community College, but ya never know, with Mussolini all things are possible).

    That would be cool to be the Antichrist who announces in advance "If I tell you to receive the mark of the beast, or some chip or 666 to buy or sell stuff, please disobey me!

    And if you don't, you're a stupid ass! But Jesus wants me to kill everyone who doesn't receive the mark, in order to fulfill a Prophecy, so I kinda gotta fulfill this stupid book of revelation bullshit and have you paying homage to a dragon and leopard with the feet of a bear, and many heads."

    That's exactly what I'd say to the whole world and stupid flock that follows me as their shepherd.

    I'd select the funniest Jewish comedians to show me the most hilarious way to fulfill all the bullshit in the book of revelation.


    And I wouldn't deceive people either. I'd simply say, "Yeah, I plan on turning the world into a Fascist Dictatorship where every store is filled with grocery Benito bags, Duce bags, and images of Mussolini are everywhere , so the entire world is a big Shrine to the Caesar."

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    When I used to go to the Capitol building, I'd hold up Cardboard with Il Duce on it and say to the politicians in their suit and ties "I'm raising up money to turn America into a Fascist Dictatorship. Anything helps! Every Pence counts! " (Pence means penny).

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    Sometimes they would laugh. Other times they would call security. Once they even laid hands on me. I scared a field trip full of children back into their school bus once and they drove off.

    But if I were the Antichrist, I'd build lots of Shinto shrines , gardens, and monuments to the Capitol Hill Queens and their Caesar. I'd have villages of nothing but shrines, Kamidanas , and Hondens.
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    and try to end world hunger and create world peace. I'd try to find out who doesn't deserve to live and have them quickly executed.

    Kamikaze pilots and soldiers of Yasukuni Shrine and the Queens would be anime figures (even though anime sucks) and superheroes , and be found as happy meal toys and shit.
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    The Imperial fleet of Japan would rule the waters and Amaterasu would be Queen of the Globe, and whoever doesn't like praying to or burning incense to her can kiss my ass instead!

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    China would be taken before a tribunal as the biggest killing machine that ever existed by far and the most racist nation on earth (that has hotels and resturants the government encourages to not serve black people), and they make food out of cardboard, toxic cancer causing chemicals, and rats, and have enslaved or brainwashed over a sixth of the population, plus they burn incense to the biggest mass murderer in history (Mao) without getting a slap on the wrist.

    I would force Lia to marry even if it meant having her arrested and tickle-torturing her to say "I do" then set her free to do as she pleases to go screw whoever and not bother her or speak to her again.

    I just need her to say "I do" for political and Fascist apologetics purposes because Jacob married Rachel and Lia and Mussolini married Rachel, and I'm Matty Mussolini, so I gotta marry the girl I jumped off a building over just because!

    I'd heal everyone if I could. Were I like Christ who could raise the dead, I'd kill certain people and raise them from the dead to teach them a lesson in humility. Pedophiles would be quickly put out of their misery and left hanging from telephone poles.

    First and foremoste, I'd ask the Devil to give me a most kick ass sense of humor so I could have the world dying of laughter and actually be a funny Joker.

    It's good medicine! And I'd write a Shinto Bible and make it hilarious , and tell everyone it's probably bullshit anyway, and they're stupid for following it. And write a second "Doctrine of Fascsim" called "The Fascist Catechism" and it would be illustrated and I'd tell everyone it's likely bullshit and turn politics and Religion into a three ring circus shit show!

    Porn would be banned unless I found it amusing and edifying. Then it receives the stamp and mark of ill Duce (Tedbunny Porn). All would be censored in the entertainment industry , so nothing that encourages hedonism or rape, unless it's fuckin hilarious!

    Women in Saudi Arabia get to dress like nuns but never shall it be enforced anywhere.

    There is a whole bunch of other things I would do.

    What would you do? It would probably be an extremely annoying vocation though dealing with people all the time and running the whole entire earth, just to go burn in Hell when you're done!
    Last edited by ill Duce; 03-23-2021, 04:40 AM.
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