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Inner Demons lead me to console a mother of a suicide!

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    Inner Demons lead me to console a mother of a suicide!

    I'm feeling I suffer from a lack of trust in intuition, severe doubts, skepticism, based on so many failures, trauma, and wounds from the past

    However, I feel there are some spirits that have access to me that have done much damage and lead me astray at times.

    Even they however, even when they lead me to hurt or offend people, some great good came forth from it though.

    In jail, my roommate was Raven. A nurse gave us crackers (unleavened bread) and she said "I'm not supposed to do this".

    My Bible was open to "Feast of unleavened bread". Israelites ate unleavened bread before leaving bondage in Egypt.

    I told Raven, "this is our feast of unleavened bread. One of us gets released tomorrow"

    He was bailed out the next day and judge released me on my own recognizance. Raven said "no one would believe it's true even if you tell them".

    I felt that was a message from a Suicide whose tomb I used to pray before named "Raven" (with image of Raven on tomb) due to my cell mate being "Raven", and another coincidence involving Elijah and the raven story in jail.

    Trays tipped over at another occasion for lunch, and staff ordered all new trays. Many trays didn't fully tip over or had cake stuck to them or food that didn't touch the floor.

    With a whole new set of trays, inmates got to eat almost double, and I had almost triple what I would have eaten. Biggest meal in jail.

    I returned to my cell to find a letter to the Prophet Elijah "I would like a Raven to feed me some day". An interior locution seemed to tell me that was the answer to my prayer, and the ghost of Raven (the suicide) tipped some of the trays to feed us.

    I wrote his mother and called her, and the mother of the suicide wept tears of joy over the phone, and sent me a letter saying she prays to Raven every morning because of my testimony.

    Had I not gone to jail, I could not have consoled a mother of a suicide, who worried her son might be in hell for suicide. I got her to believe he is in Heaven through that experience.

    So, even my Demons seem to be bringing me where I need to be , and destiny that accomplished the greater good (sometimes).

    In fact, the mother of suicide Raven said I helped her more than anyone else with the grieving process, including Raven's and her immediate family!

    Do you have any experiences like that? Care to share?

    #2
    I just tune you out, sorry, the moment you mention the Bible.

    Who even talks about "unleavened bread," dude? It's the twenty-first century. The irony is you made a huge fucking deal over some Saltines, and God works in ironic ways.

    Don't you ever get tired of this bullshit? Trying to be pure, trying to be holy?

    For who? For what?

    I'm sorry, I just don't get it. Sometimes a cracker is just a fucking Saltine.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by neonspectraltoast View Post
      I just tune you out, sorry, the moment you mention the Bible.

      Who even talks about "unleavened bread," dude? It's the twenty-first century. The irony is you made a huge fucking deal over some Saltines, and God works in ironic ways.

      Don't you ever get tired of this bullshit? Trying to be pure, trying to be holy?

      For who? For what?

      I'm sorry, I just don't get it. Sometimes a cracker is just a fucking Saltine.
      Saltines don't mean shit, agreed!

      The fact I said, " this is our feast of unleavened bread", one of us gets released tomorrow, due to nurse saying "I'm not supposed to do this"...and Bible open to Feast of unleavened bread.

      And he surprisingly is bailed out by freedom fund, and judge released me on my own recognizance, the following morning , is almost unbelievable!

      But I know it's 100% fact!

      Also, the Bible sucks, I agree. But it has influenced more people than any piece of literature by far.

      And many signs and wonders have come through it and manifested in my life from it

      I agree, it contains enormous shit crock verses. But can't help but be in awe of what I have witnessed first hand!

      And in this case, it greatly consoled a sorrowful mother who someone else described as "Unconsolable"!

      Comment


        #4
        What a load.

        Judges are lenient on good souls and white people, but you want to joke around about being a serial killer.

        And I fear for this path you're on, this line of thinking. Can you empathize? There is nothing AT ALL glorious about rape and murder, I don't care how twisted God is.

        You need to set a few things straight.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by neonspectraltoast View Post
          What a load.

          Judges are lenient on good souls and white people, but you want to joke around about being a serial killer.

          And I fear for this path you're on, this line of thinking. Can you empathize? There is nothing AT ALL glorious about rape and murder, I don't care how twisted God is.

          You need to set a few things straight.
          I have never once glorified rape or murder.

          I pray to victims of rape and murder as souls in heaven who can help me be a better person! I honor and bless them to have eternal euphoria and reward in heaven!

          Big difference!

          I think rape and murder is by far the worst thing anyone could do to another human being.

          I have made bad jokes before, as I have a dark sense of humor, but I feel deep sorrow for anyone who endures rape or murder , or their loved ones!

          So , I don't know what you are talking about!

          Comment


            #6
            But I accept correction where correction is due. My sense of humor can be offensive and dark and insensitive. I need to change that , but it is so natural to find weird, crazy, bizarre, dark things amusing, when you add the right twist or wording to it!

            But I have NEVER EVER not once, not ever glorified rape or murder!

            Comment


              #7
              Okay. You've made repeated jokes about being a serial killer and my paranoid mind was just wondering.

              Love you Matt.

              That said, I've had all I can stand of the Bible and holiness. Don't you get nauseated by it all?

              Comment


                #8
                Are you on antipsychotics, Matt? Just out of curiosity.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by neonspectraltoast View Post
                  Okay. You've made repeated jokes about being a serial killer and my paranoid mind was just wondering.

                  Love you Matt.

                  That said, I've had all I can stand of the Bible and holiness. Don't you get nauseated by it all?
                  I made a joke about being a Cannibal and eating people , and said as a child I had fantasies of violently ravaging women, but I always said it is very wrong to ever do that, It is good to keep the mind pure and innocent, and I have always promoted the golden rule of charity towards others, and avoiding hurting people, ever since I came to the site, and consistently!

                  I have had outbursts at this website at members long ago, but after calming down, was quick to apologize.

                  So, your accusation that I ever glorified rape or murder, is just way way off , and total falsehood!

                  I love you too, but this isn't your first time bashing me for faults I never committed, Mister!

                  Sure I get nauseated by Bible and Holiness. But when many signs indicating spirits are speaking to me, through coincidences, that sometimes involve the Bible....no, I never get sick of authentic signs that powers greater than me, and Sentient beings , are at work and influencing things.

                  I live for that shit!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by neonspectraltoast View Post
                    Are you on antipsychotics, Matt? Just out of curiosity.
                    I take an antipsychotic Geodon.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Nevermind. 🙄

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by neonspectraltoast View Post
                        Nevermind. 🙄
                        What's that supposed to mean?

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I don't know. You're all defensive like I'm making accusations, but I'm not, so why?

                          I don't believe you could ever hurt anyone, thankfully. So enough self-hate about you being a serial killer.

                          That's really what disturbed me...you made several allusions to joking about being a serial killer.

                          That's not just dark humor; that's cutting yourself way short. And whatever you've done, I don't think it could ever have been. But anyway, you're not, and so long as you can empathize with the horror these victims experienced, we're fine.

                          You shouldn't be fantasizing about Ted Bundy or praying for Ted Bundy or anyone else who did something that evil. It only leads to sickness. If God forgives them, so be it, but they're bottom tier. And if you can't understand why, well...

                          Comment


                            #14
                            All that said, yeah, I just find Bible talk lame. I don't believe in any of it. Just sayin.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Just saying Matt...find it hard to believe you had thoughts of ravaging women "as a child" but don't today. Though such thoughts may not be a part of you anymore, memory is a fucked up thing. I just want you to be well. Just trying to help, bud.

                              Comment

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