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Can positive thinking harm people in your opinion?

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    Can positive thinking harm people in your opinion?

    It absolutely can.

    Unless you are really sound and stable mentally, and you have a history of things going well, then you at least have a basis for being positive.

    If in your experience every job and relationship and attempt at school has been a total fiasco, there is no basis for being positive. By all means, think about things that make you happy, so I would encourage that kind of positivity, and total despair I would never encourage, but being positive has actually done me a shit load of damage and hurt people I come into contact with as well.

    It's because it isn't okay to pretend things will be fine and work out well when all the evidence says things will be total shit. I went into multiple jobs believing I would do well. It was total shit every time without a single exception.

    I went into College and everyone said I'd be amazing and get could grades. Would have been better if they told me it would be hell and a waste of money.

    Also, was at a foster home as a kid where foster parents lost their only son getting hit by a bike, and I was the God send replacement. I still cringe to think how that turned out. I don't think it lasted four months and lots of arguing, yelling, blasphemy, and then incarceration.

    It isn't just a matter of choice either. I think people like me should be quickly executed , and one of the reasons is there is no choice to be all fucked up in the head, confused, have fits of rage, enjoy nothing but sin and evil, be morbid as hell, and make people miserable.

    Telling mentally ill people it's all a choice and to change is like telling someone to get sexually aroused by the gender they are not attracted to or something. Not the best example to compare it to, but I think it's still a valid point is that if all someone is attracted to ( some of the time or all of the time) is morbid stuff or has reoccurring fits of rage and criminal history , it's very dangerous for them to start thinking things will get better.

    Sure, I'm more compassionate than I used to be, things like that can change, through exercises of the mind and training oneself to have new habits, and faith in another entity greater than myself.

    But people keep telling me to get a job and go back to school , and it's an act of charity more importantly to society if I don't do that. When I do things like that it causes people to suffer, the people I work with, and I tend to traumatize and disturb people when I'm fully resolved to not do so.

    Not just that, I'm not predictable to myself. Tell the cops, they know me and I'm so honest they probably tap my phone and have cameras at my place or something. Guarenteed I'm under tight surveillance, but I'm just not the same person one day as the next.

    I'll be compassionate and affectionate and quick to forgive people one day, then the next day be cold and wanna blow somebodies brains out for just being mildly annoying, and it isn't a choice or I'd know how to make sure I don't get like that. Or wake up in the morning and do the ritual that makes the change

    The same Carmelite Mother Superior that was telling me what a bright future I had was shortly after slapping me in the face for shouting blasphemies in her convent. She's lucky she wasn't a priest her size or I would have snapped his neck.

    Let's remember , it was positive thinking that got a lot of people hurt in my experience, so better for some people to actually be negative. Had I not been positive or had hope, lots of misery would not have been there and bad memories for a lot of people.

    Ambition is a good thing for most people with keeping a positive attitude, but most people aren't in their first mental institution at age 10 either.

    Also, in relationships, most people are crushed and heartbroken because they got their hopes up and expected positive outcome. It's a sick world and every day someone is tortured to death by the hands of another. What makes you or I immune to the same destiny? Best to not get hopes up.

    Still, Monty Python had a point
    Last edited by Matthew Mussolini; 03-25-2021, 06:36 AM.

    #2
    I seem to recall a study suggesting that overall, pessimistic people more accurately evaluate their lives than optimistic people. However, even if that is accurate, my guess would be optimism correlates with more ambition, dedication, sociability and most of the qualities that people strive for.


    Positive thinking taken to the extreme might land one in a cult, negative thinking taken to the extreme, might make one an antisocial outcast sending people bombs in the mail, so a balance is probably the best outlook.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by ill Duce View Post
      It absolutely can.

      Unless you are really sound and stable mentally, and you have a history of things going well, then you at least have a basis for being positive.
      Agree


      However,
      In the category of relationships, if people are crushed and heartbroken because they got their hopes up and expected positive outcome...... its because of their needy Beta mentality.

      Positive thinking Alpha's immediately side step the crush n heartbreak and without a moments notice can't wait to discover the next interesting relationship.



      *Best is to always keep yer hopes up.

      Comment


        #4
        I think "positive thinking" is a concept that's been twisted into something ridiculous and unrealistic, but which wasn't how it was originally intended.

        I see it like, even if everything is shit, and I'm dealing with bad things... feeling the negative emotions isn't wrong, but the positivity is in accepting that negativity is part of life, and will pass. When you get your head around that, you do feel more "positive", regardless of the bad things.

        It isn't like.. "oh be happy-happy and smile and nice to people even though you feel like shit and like you want to kill everyone"

        It's more.. "yeah, things are shit and you feel bad, so sit and cry or yell or take out physical aggression in some way like beating up a pillow.. but don't take all this too seriously. It will pass."

        That's my take on "positive thinking". But yeah, i've stopped using the term because of how people interpret it.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Pete's Draggun View Post

          In the category of relationships, if people are crushed and heartbroken because they got their hopes up and expected positive outcome...... its because of their needy Beta mentality.

          Positive thinking Alpha's immediately side step the crush n heartbreak and without a moments notice can't wait to discover the next interesting relationship.
          Have you ever read about "attachment theory" ?
          What you describe as being a positive thinking alpha, I think is just someone with a secure attachment style. (unless they are distancing from the heartbreak in a way that is avoidant)

          "needy betas" probably have an anxious attachment style, caused in part by how they were parented, and/or subsequent relationships. Understanding how that forms is a useful step in learning how to develop a secure attachment.

          Attachment in adults - Wikipedia if anyone is interested. If you divide everyone into only four main groups there is going to be a lot of variation within the groups, but I can see how this relates to me and my experiences with attachment. I think it's helped me become more secure, even just because I recognise some of my unhealthy reactions for what they are now, and how the men i've gone for have not been healthy for my attachment style.



          unrelated, but when people talk about betas it usually sounds like they mean omegas, in actual wolf pack terminology. many great men are not alphas.. otherwise they'd be always fighting for leadership. alphas need men around them who do what they say, but are not really any less. men willing to support the vision of the alpha. same with women.

          the "beta" is actually considered the second-in-command to the alpha, if i'm not mistaken. becomes the alpha is the alpha dies.
          so yeah, the whole internet use of the term "beta".. they actually mean "omega".

          Comment


          • Pete's Draggun
            Pete's Draggun commented
            Editing a comment
            I'll get back to you after I'm done reading the entire wiki you posted


          #6
          Originally posted by Jessica View Post

          Have you ever read about "attachment theory" ?
          What you describe as being a positive thinking alpha, I think is just someone with a secure attachment style. (unless they are distancing from the heartbreak in a way that is avoidant)

          unrelated, but when people talk about betas it usually sounds like they mean omegas, in actual wolf pack terminology. many great men are not alphas.. otherwise they'd be always fighting for leadership. alphas need men around them who do what they say, but are not really any less. men willing to support the vision of the alpha. same with women.

          the "beta" is actually considered the second-in-command to the alpha, if i'm not mistaken. becomes the alpha is the alpha dies.
          so yeah, the whole internet use of the term "beta".. they actually mean "omega".
          Good educational reading on wiki attachment theory. Thanks Jessica.

          I'm definitely the secure attachment style.
          Beta's would be one of the other 3 attachment styles and Omega's would be a combination of all 3 and not ever secure.

          To comment on yer unrelated wolf pack terminology with Alpha's Beta's and Omega's and the hierarchy of roles...... I agree.

          --------------------------

          Way off topic but...... in continuation of A, B and O discussion/comment

          Imo, when it comes to dating, committed monogamous relationships and marriage, the very few Alpha's out there, are surrounded by billions n billions of Beta's, like a covid virus. As far as Omega's go, I don't recognize them as being apart of the dating competition either. One in the same.

          The strife of the Beta's and Omega's internal hierarchy can do what they want to each other. They can all indulge in Mussolini cannibalism soup for all I care. At the end of the day, both of them are whiney and needy, that have no clue on how to keep and maintain a woman's level of attraction at it's highest possible number of 10.

          Great for me as an Alpha, there's a miniscule of competition out there to get the best lady for myself.
          I'll duke it out with other Alpha's fer 12 rounds.





          Comment


            #7
            Edit
            Way way off topic...

            Blood type hierarchy works the same way....

            Type Alpha is first #1
            Type AlphaBeta wants first place (possibly)
            Type Beta is second
            Type Omega dead last
            Last edited by Pete's Draggun; 03-25-2021, 12:51 PM.

            Comment


              #8
              The road to hell is paved with good intentions is not a saying for no reason... So yes. It can.

              Comment


                #9
                I would guess the alpha beta (makes me think of revenge of the nerds every time) thing is just a manifestation of the "if you're not first, you're last" idea. Basically it's alpha or anything else. But yeah, omega would probably be a better term for the way it's actually used. I think the whole concept is pretty silly though.

                As for positive thinking, I think it is generally beneficial, but you have to keep it in check. Extreme example, you don't want to stand at the top of a cliff, decide that you can fly, and take a leap. But then a complete lack of positive thinking would lead you to just sit in a dark room and brood until you dehydrate. Probably the best place to be would be just north of neutral. I would think that would allow you to be realistic, while still trying things that might be a bit risky but could ultimately improve your life.

                Comment


                  #10
                  I think any kind of thinking other than logical and critical thinking can harm a person. It can ruin entire societies. In my opinion it creates a sense of entitlement. That you can think happiness to existence. When you believe that, you expect good things to happen to you, rather than understanding you have to go out and make things happen for you.

                  So you sit around waiting for a perfect life to magically fall into your lap (fantasy) and when it doesn't (reality) you struggle to function as an adult. I think that's one of the big issues in the US at the moment. We're a society of soft people who break down when life doesn't go our way because a lot of us were raised to "think positively... and it will happen."

                  Comment


                    #11
                    Nobody said something positive about the Monty python video? I had my hopes up. *sniff sniff*

                    I'm kidding.

                    Anyway, ambition is good but I'm working on having sound mind before I get ambitious cuz that could harm others. I know that sounds weak but I do actually have concern for other people's feelings in all this, and in my experience what goes around comes around in the sense that when I hurt others I do wind up feeling guilty and feeling their pain.

                    Like I think my recent right arm dislocation for the third time was also a wake up call as well as a karma thing (even though I don't believe in karma), while in pain and unable to lift my arm, all I could think about was the people I wronged.

                    I find that when I'm nice to people and enhance their lives in some way , I'm more happy and peaceful. If I'm proud, selfish, obnoxious, and offensive, there is no peace or true joy. So in that sense Karma has been a reality, and what I put into the world comes back either as a blessing or a curse.

                    I'm not saying that's how it works for everyone, but certainly has been my experience that I reap what I sow. Were I to at this time get a job or go back to school , it would be a fiasco. Even AA meetings I go to but feel I bring a negative energy to it.

                    So, for now, I gotta change through an inward journey.


                    Jesus was an architect
                    Prior to his career as a prophet
                    Suddenly I found myself in love with the world...
                    ​​​​​​
                    ​​​​​It's a love affair
                    Mainly my hotrod and Jesus

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