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Let go of the need to not fuck up!

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    Let go of the need to not fuck up!

    If you're myself it's very defeating to say "I'm going to uproot this error or bad habit from my life."

    My judgement can be very poor and I can be a dick or douchebag sometimes, so when that comes natural, it is extremely difficult to not fall into.

    I'm too damn unstable to say that's realistic even with full resolution of will and worthy purpose of amendment. I never know who I'm going to be the following day.

    Whether I'll be inclined to one behavior one day or the exact opposite behavior the next day was unpredictable even when I was sober for over 6 months or a year.
    ​​​​​
    Focus on, is there change I can make in the minute. Focus on what you can change to make that minute better.

    Treat yourself like you would an abused dog that had no training as a puppy or adolescent and was simply neglected or abused.

    Such dogs are extremely difficult to train or sometimes they remain irreversibly vicious and dangerous.

    To train such a dog requires great patience , as the animal has been conditioned to behave the way it does, and some of those ingrained habits, one must accept are likely to be there permanently.

    Kicking the dog won't help either. Beating oneself up is like that.


    Dwelling on past failures does no good , and trying really hard to not make mistakes in the future can be very defeating and chronic worrying about mistakes does no good either.

    It all leads to despair and more vice and errors.

    Let go of the need to not fuck up and you will fuck up less, provided that in the moment you are putting in your effort and not worrying excessively or trying to be perfect. Trustful surrender to the providence of a power greater than oneself can also be very helpful.

    Thoughts?
    Last edited by Matthew Mussolini; 04-03-2021, 01:04 AM.

    #2
    Matthew Mussolini I fuck up at least a dozen times every day! It's almost like the world is testing us or something?

    People can be mean and nasty (especially when you look down and out), so I'm biting my tongue half the time not to bring myself down to their sorry ass level. But I always say a silent prayer (while they're ranting and raving about something because their petty egos are in control of their emotions).

    Don't you love it when they call security if you react to their insanity? Silence truly is golden. They end up looking like fools, and you walk out of the store a free man. I've actually received several free gift cards from stores because I did not react to some unbalanced cashier's prejudice. Much better to let them act out and expose themselves as the frauds they are - most managers of stores don't like to see their employees make the store look bad due to personal reasons. That's my 2 cents :-)

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      #3
      I would recommend either joining a gym or maybe scan youtube and devise a workout regimen, (advice I could heed myself btw after putting on a few pounds during Rona).

      It probably won't solve all your issues but having a steady routine, especially one where you're working up a sweat and releasing endorphins, will likely make you feel less volatile day to day.

      Other option is get on mood stabilizers but given that I've seen you with electrodes on your head and have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, I'm guessing you've already tried that.

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        #4
        Originally posted by Audiogen View Post
        I would recommend either joining a gym or maybe scan youtube and devise a workout regimen, (advice I could heed myself btw after putting on a few pounds during Rona).

        It probably won't solve all your issues but having a steady routine, especially one where you're working up a sweat and releasing endorphins, will likely make you feel less volatile day to day.

        Other option is get on mood stabilizers but given that I've seen you with electrodes on your head and have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, I'm guessing you've already tried that.
        Working out is cool. Matthew Mussolini used to run for miles before he became physically impaired, but he does ride his bike, and I think that's a good thing. I don't recommend mood stabilizers for anyone. They can cause high blood pressure, heart disease, and even liver failure. I rely on prayer and meditation, but I get not everyone is into that. I suggest training yourself not to react to idiots, and getting the free gift cards!

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          #5
          Garbage's new single.
           

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          #6
          So never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Each day has enough of its own troubles. Jesus

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            #7
            Anxiety is just fear. One must accept ostracization, death, homelessness, and all the other scary consequences of remaining true to thyself.

            It all really isn't as scary as it seems.

            Myself, I question whether there technically is such a thing as a fuck up, or if all events are necessitated by the universe.

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              #8
              Originally posted by Audiogen View Post
              I would recommend either joining a gym or maybe scan youtube and devise a workout regimen, (advice I could heed myself btw after putting on a few pounds during Rona).

              It probably won't solve all your issues but having a steady routine, especially one where you're working up a sweat and releasing endorphins, will likely make you feel less volatile day to day.

              Other option is get on mood stabilizers but given that I've seen you with electrodes on your head and have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, I'm guessing you've already tried that.
              I do get lots of exercise because I ride bike and walk everywhere.

              Also, now that I work part time, that should help.

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                #9
                also in creating stuff. so many adults stop trying new things because they don't want to look or sound "silly"
                we're all meant to be creators of some kind or another. we were "made in God's image"..!

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                  #10
                  "What you fear.......you attract"


                  I don't fear fucking up........so I don't fuck up.

                  Try it sometime Matty Musso.
                  At least once n awhile.
                  Give it a shot. No alcohol meant

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                    #11
                    Originally posted by Jessica View Post
                    also in creating stuff. so many adults stop trying new things because they don't want to look or sound "silly"
                    we're all meant to be creators of some kind or another. we were "made in God's image"..!
                    Curiously enough God is a human creation/concept :P

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                      #12
                      You could have a blog Matt, where you help people with the types of issues and addictions you’ve struggled through. There’s a need out there for that and you’d get paid for it. Something to think on. I think too much idle time isn’t good after a while for our mental health.

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                        #13
                        God becomes via humanity, and is thus partially a human construct (if you want to distinguish humans from God.)

                        But the Omnimax, the totality of all things, the alpha, the omega, the living past, present, and future, is eternal.

                        Of course it makes no sense to say the Omnimax existed before or after humanity.

                        Before and after: these are the illusions. This world is the illusion. Not the Omnimax.

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                          #14
                          Originally posted by Pete's Draggun View Post
                          "What you fear.......you attract"
                          i must fear work. and snow.

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                            #15
                            Originally posted by Deidre View Post
                            You could have a blog Matt, where you help people with the types of issues and addictions you’ve struggled through. There’s a need out there for that and you’d get paid for it. Something to think on. I think too much idle time isn’t good after a while for our mental health.
                            Yeah...I'm just not aware of how to draw viewers to a blog.

                            I do work odd jobs.

                            I'm considered completely nuts by most people as I take serious that Spirits of dead people speak to me though, and it kind of drives people away.

                            I find it healing though.

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                            • Amerijuanican
                              Amerijuanican commented
                              Editing a comment
                              I've had them talk to me too... so maybe I'm messed up too lol..
                              Also have met long deceased ones come into my dreams and communicate w/me as if I knew them in my life.
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