Nothing is black and white. The nightmare circus that is life!

[Matthew Mussolini]

Have you ever done something a healthy conscience or any healthy advisor or wise voice of reason would tell you not to do, you did the opposite, and it was the best damn thing you could have done for yourself, others, God, or the Deity (s) you are devoted to?

I hate how confusing life is, where it isn't hardly ever clear when it is a good idea to accept correction.

Sometimes it's obvious!

But I've done things (every wise advisor would have told me not to do), that were the best thing possible for me.

I actually came to Minneapolis Saint Paul in the back of a Sheriff's vehicle, for doing something sinister.

And yet, living in the Twin Cities is the best place BY FAR I have ever lived , and very obviously my destiny.

Yet I got here doing what every wise voice, even my conscience, should tell me "Don't do that Spiderman! Terrible, bad idea!!!"

So, I'm just really confused. All is grey. Almost nothing is black and white!.

[Matthew Mussolini]

When Rachel Mussolini turned down Benito's wedding proposal, according to one of her two 1974 biographies, he snatched her from her boyfriends arms while they were dancing, finished the dance, and dared him to fight!

He dragged her two a cab and to her Mother's house. Her mother said "Rachel is 17 Benito. If you do this again I'm calling the police".

Benito responded "right!"

Left the room and returned with a loaded revolver pointed at her mother. He said "6 bullets in this revolver. One goes into Rachel, five into me, and she goes to hell with me if she doesn't agree to Marry me now!"

Rachel responded "Mother, I have loved Benito since the age of 7, just hoped for a more simple husband. I guess this is what I needed to push me to the brink"!

In two minutes they were engaged.

It was terrible, even by my standards, but the best thing he ever did in the end, was marry Rachel!

Rachel was the most amazing author whose books set me on fire. I would have no zeal for Mussolini or Fascism, because everything outside of Rachel's books, make both look terrible.

But Rachel doesn't whitewash him, fought him on many issues, she just knew him better than all people by far, and presents the facts so well, the good, the bad, the ugly. And before world war 2, the good he did, outweighs the bad, almost to a Miraculous extent!

Also, Rachel has my birthday and sees eye to eye with me on everything it seems, like we think with the same brain.

Mussolini surname means Jacob, and Jacob's love and wife in Scripture was Rachel. Another interesting sign of many.

Her writings revolutionized and completely changed my life beyond anything (including Scripture or writings of Saints and Theologians).

So, if I ever write a book, she will be a big part of it, and I have been told by people in real life "you completely redeemed Mussolini in my mind Matthew"!

I couldn't do that without Rachel.

I have had coworkers high on PCP that told me talking about Benito's rise to power, march on Rome, his exaltation of Saint Francis of Assisi, relationship with Gandhi and Tagore, restoration of the Roman Empire in the 20th century, abolishment of slavery, and economic miracles he worked in multiple countries, and saving Spain from Communist conquest in the Spanish Civil War, and creation of Vatican City State with Lateran treaty, was a story that made their drug trip better, more fun, and got them more high!

I couldn't have done that without Rachel.

He had no clue she would write those books , decades after his death, when he so strongly insisted she marry him. Women came a dime a dozen for the street fighter, sword dueller, public speaker, and budding intellectual writer and politician (at that time).

What made Rachel so crucial to him at that time, remains a mystery to me, as she wasn't particularly good looking (great writer though) , but he could not have picked a better wife! Thanks to that marriage, she's my favorite person (possibly) in history.

I like her even more than I like her husband!

So, in the end, could we say Benito's ugly decision of pulling a gun on Rachel's mom and threatening to go to hell and take Rachel with him was a bad decision?

Even Rachel, (despite disagreeing with him often, begging him to be a family man and retire after 20 years in power, warning him his admiration of Napoleon would bring him a similar fate), even she feels strongly he was overall a good person and best husband she could have had in the end!

I love you Rachel!

[Matthew Mussolini]

Plus, I always wanted to meet a woman smarter than neonspectraltoast , and without Rachel and her books, to whom shall I turn?

[Matthew Mussolini]

This is the best Gospel song there is at any rate (I don't like Gospel music typically)

Let me know if you like!

[Matthew Mussolini]

Post number 4 with the Jesus freak song happened to be post 20,666 of that group of lifestyles and hobbies subforums posts.

Doesn't mean anything, but couldn't help but notice the 666 and it's relevance to the song!

[neonspectraltoast]

Only you didn't know me then, so, more lies. They just flow naturally through you, I'm sure.

[Matthew Mussolini]

Only you didn't know me then, so, more lies. They just flow naturally through you, I'm sure.

Obviously you have no ability to tell when I'm not being 100% serious, even when I use a smiley, when even a smiley isn't necessary with that choice of words.

You should be flattered or at least mildly amused.

[neonspectraltoast]

Make excuses all you want. You're a liar; i.e. someone who lies. It's what you do best.

[Matthew Mussolini]

But if you really are suffering I don't want to make it worse.

I remember now from past experiences you don't always take jokes well.

I thought what I said was at least mildly flattering, despite being obviously not serious, but if it had a bad effect, my bad!

[neonspectraltoast]

Sure you did, because you're not an insincere bottom feeder who praises and blesses on the surface while being a ravenous wolf at heart. (THAT'S sarcasm.)

[Tropical Breeze]

Just stumbled upon this;

"I’m just overwhelmed by happiness on one hand,” Shcherbakova of Russia said, just minutes after winning a gold medal. “On the other hand, I feel this emptiness inside somehow.”

[Matthew Mussolini]

Just stumbled upon this;

"I’m just overwhelmed by happiness on one hand,” Shcherbakova of Russia said, just minutes after winning a gold medal. “On the other hand, I feel this emptiness inside somehow.”

I think that is how I would feel (such emptiness), if I got with the I female have been trying in vain to get with since 2017.

[Undies]

"I’m just overwhelmed by happiness on one hand,”... “On the other hand, I feel this emptiness inside somehow.”

That's why women have two boobs, one for each hand.

[neonspectraltoast]

I think it's delusional to think a woman who has been dead 80 years agrees with all your thoughts, but that's just me.

[Matthew Mussolini]

I think it's delusional to think a woman who has been dead 80 years agrees with all your thoughts, but that's just me.

I'm saying in her two books, she writes a lot and pours out her heart. It's like we think with the same brain more than any author I have read.

[neonspectraltoast]

I doubt that what you're saying. Seems more important to you to be innerable than to tell the truth.