"You" statements are the ultimate on-the-defensive trigger

[Pete's Draggun]

As soon as the word "you" is involved in a discussion, it sends a message to the brain to be in a defensive mode.
Try going a day without using the word "you". Then go 2 days , then 3.

By practicing not using the word "you," in discussions with others, will always automatically feel less defensive from the other person.



Now the only thing is to not get defensive when someone uses "you" towards yourself from a person who hasn't been practicing.

[Audiogen]

Bad advice for philosophy... You statements signify clarity in understanding someone else's position. It makes it clear that the arguments are properly understood, it gives an opportunity to clarify or refute a counter.


What you don't want to do in a philosophical discussion is an ad hominem attack, where you're attacking someone's character or some quality that is irrelevant to their arguments and ideas.

[Audiogen]

Socrates formulating Meno's paradox

"Do you see what a contentious debater’s argument you’re bringing up—that it seems impossible for a person to seek either what he knows or what he doesn’t know? He couldn’t seek what he knows, because he knows it, and there’s no need for him to seek it. Nor could he seek what he doesn’t know, because he doesn’t know what to look for. "

[Din Djarin]

As soon as the word "you" is involved in a discussion, it sends a message to the brain to be in a defensive mode.
Try going a day without using the word "you". Then go 2 days , then 3.

By practicing not using the word "you," in discussions with others, will always automatically feel less defensive from the other person.



Now the only thing is to not get defensive when someone uses "you" towards yourself from a person who hasn't been practicing.

It seems better to just get the knowledge on this automatic trigger out and not to get needlessly in defense mode. Instead of pandering to the easily offended by avoiding any sentence with the word you

[Meliai]

I know Pete put this in philosophy so is referring to a broader spectrum of communication, but I think this is something to keep in mind in inter-personal conflict when its a partner, friend, family member and emotions are high.

[Undies]

This is why I always say y'all.

[Din Djarin]

Nobody gets angry at yinz when you say yinz

[neonspectraltoast]

What's worse is when someone substitutes "we" for "you". My psychiatrist does this constantly. "How are we doing today?" "Are we taking our meds?"

[Jessica]

agree with Asmo. it always feels patronizing because people talk to little kids like that.

[Din Djarin]

What's worse is when someone substitutes "we" for "you". My psychiatrist does this constantly. "How are we doing today?" "Are we taking our meds?"

Yeah, that's annoying and also a good enough reason already to be violently against any kind of royalty!