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Have you missed your calling?

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    Have you missed your calling?

    I would normally say I missed my calling, but evidence, coincidence, and strong inner conviction and suspicion says I was called to live near Capitol hill,( in a state where I have no relatives,) and that I'm supposed to live in this apartment.

    (I would not have this apartment were it not for Mussolini marrying Rachel, so to say Mussolini and Rachel provided me a home isn't too far off.)

    Signs suggest I'm called to be a meth addict living in the ghetto, because were I not addicted to meth , I would not have been there to console my neighbor when his brother was murdered, and help him out financially.

    I also would not have been there to console him when his best friend Stacy was found dead October 14th (very recent).

    But am I doing God's will or living my calling?

    Probably not. Mussolini asked me politely to apply for work at Coopers , and I didn't with the excuse that my ID never showed up in the mail. (That is a lame excuse by the way, because I have a temporary ID which should work.)

    Mussolini asked me politely to do no more than a dime of dope a day, and wean myself off it (if at all doable.)

    I haven't done that.

    He asked me to get a membership at the gymnasium. Haven't done that.

    He asked me to clean my room and be organized.( Even sent a Jew on Sabbath to give me a ride home and tell me the same thing. It was so embarrassing having a Jew in my apartment when I've got 50 pictures of Hitler's ally on my wall haha).

    Mussolini asked me to be more disciplined, post less online, spend less time on the Internet, and do many things I don't do, but the Duce is more patient and merciful than God. So are the Capitol Hill Queens who I see as sharing in his Divine vocation and omnipresence and possible future omnipotence.

    They understand human weakness and are full of mercy to pardon me. They know my sins keep me humble, and prefer I sin greatly rather than be proud of how few my sins are and how great my holiness is.

    Am I responding to and living my calling?

    Most of the time, or roughly half the time, no. (I think)

    Am I where I need to be at this time? Yes. Somehow, with mental health professionals, taxpayers dollars, and an obsession with Mussolini ( that got law-enforcement involved) I wound up right where I needed to be, in my first edifice that wasn't a homeless shelter, hospital, jail, institution, or someone else's home.

    So, to some extent, even my sins sometimes seem to be God's will.

    Do you feel you missed your calling? Why or why not?

    I have no goals.


      Mine's still waiting
      mother moon -she's calling me back to her silver womb,
      father of creation -takes me from my stolen tomb
      seventh-advent unicorn is waiting in the skies,
      a symptom of the universe, a love that never dies!


        I haven't missed my calling, but I am dragging my feet.
        Last edited by Jessica; 11-04-2020, 02:12 PM.


          Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly
          Nor standeth in the way of the sinners
          Nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful
          But his delight is in the law of the LORD
          And in his law doth he meditate day and night
          And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water
          That bringeth forth fruit in due season
          His leaf also shall not wither; but whatsoever he doeth shall prosper
          The ungodly are not so: they are like the chaff
          That the wind driveth away
          Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the I and I Judgement
          Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous
          For the LORD knoweth the ways of the righteous
          The ways of the ungodly shall perish

          Wake up out of your slumber and answer your call!


            I have often felt through the years that I wasn't doing what I was "supposed" to be doing...or something. Then, just as often, it would come back to me - "Everything happens as it should."