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Are you a success?

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  • Are you a success?

    Regarding jobs I have had plenty. None would qualify as a success.

    Regarding school, I have 25 College credits. Not a success.

    Regarding sanity, apparently not a success.

    It keeps me humble.

    Regarding sobriety, epic fail.

    Regarding being up on chores, clean, and organized. Total failure with the exception of two rooms that are Hondens reserved only for enshrined Kami (spirits) that I only enter to make a flower offering, burn incense, place a goshintai (Charged blessed relic), sacred image, or light a candle.

    Those rooms I keep totally free of anything that isn't sacred , and items in those rooms must be neat and organized. The rest of my apartment is a mess.

    Obedience to laws. Fail.

    Am I healthy? No.

    Am I kind and polite to people? More than the average person with a rare exception of an outburst of anger on a bad day.

    Am I disciplined? In some ways. As a general rule, no.

    Am I mature? No, but according to how I view maturity, human beings as a general rule are very immature.

    With the exception of staying sober, I actually make a lot of sacrifices, am a person of austerity, fasting, don't play video games, don't require comforts a lot of people require,

    ...when I suffer, I'm good at seeing it as my cross to bear, and making it my offering to the Kami.

    I have quite an almost Spartan threshold for pain , sickness, and suffering, compared to most people.

    So, in that sense I'm more mature than most people.

    Spiritually I would consider myself more advanced than most people. I'm well versed in Scripture, Catholicism, Shintoism, Shamanism, Pagan Divinities, and Buddhism.

    I attend daily mass at the Cathedral or near by Catholic Church, spend on average more than 4 hours in prayer a day, offer the treasures of Holy Eucharist (communion) to the souls in purgatory and spirits of the dead, make daily pilgrimages daily to sacred monuments, tombs, cemeteries, funeral homes, memorials, and war dead monuments.

    I enshrine people nobody else gives a shit about or prays for or pays any attention to. I keep a book of souls like at Yasukuni Shrine and enshrine their images in Hondens, Kamidana (godcupboard) or portable Shinto shrine.

    In areas of Spirituality, Philosophy, or intellectual strengths, I would ( in my opinion) consider myself more successful and deep than 95% of people out there.

    Even my obsession with Fascism is entirely based on the Spiritual , Religious, and austere nature of it.

    IMHO I'm a better writer with a better vocabulary than average.

    I'm not materialistic. That's a plus.

    Am I pure of heart? No.

    All that said, am I a failure? In the eyes of most people a general rule, even in my eyes, yes.

    It keeps me humble.
    Compared to a lot of people I'm actually pleased with myself though because I don't hardly ever judge or insult people, and when I realize I just did, I quickly apologize for my errors once my fit of anger calms down.

    A lot of people who qualify as successful are very judgemental and are stuck in the habit of regularly condemning people in their thoughts and words or actions.

    For that reason, I'm glad I'm a drug addict because it stops me from judging drug addicts.

    I would rather be vermin of society with many problems and be humble than a person who receives lots of praise and is condescending, self-righteous, arrogant, and pompous.

    Who is and is not a failure depends on multiple factors. In many ways I'm a failure true.

    When my neighbor's brother got murdered this summer I was the only one who was really there for him to offer consolation , and he said "You're my favorite".

    So, I'm not always a failure.

    O would consider myself a success
    I would consider myself a failure
    Last edited by Matthew Mussolini; 12-15-2020, 08:37 PM.

  • #2
    i don't think success or failure is as important as whether you have found inner peace or not


    • #3
      Originally posted by Jessica
      i don't think success or failure is as important as whether you have found inner peace or not
      then wouldn't you consider finding inner peace to be a success?


      • #4
        I've witnessed things no one on Earth has, achieved through my own mental ingenuity, so, yeah, my experiments made me a success. Could care less about anything else.


        • #5
          Originally posted by Undies

          then wouldn't you consider finding inner peace to be a success?
          absolutely. the most worthwhile of successes
          i suppose i just meant *conventional* success


          • #6


            1. the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

            Absolutely, in every sense of the word.


            • #7
              Most of the time, yes. I got off to kind of a late start in life due to excess partying...but hell, it was fun. Maybe even that was a success.

              I'm usually happy, or at least content. Good enough.