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Your favorite Used Colostomybag Salesman?

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  • Your favorite Used Colostomybag Salesman?

    And what is your favorite used Colostomybag salesman's tale?

    Or second favorite...

    It was the title of a short story I wrote to cheer up an older brother who was going through a divorce.

    Sadly, much of it is forgotten, but I remember he giggled at my rewriting the Song of Solomon, only it was Jane singing about her feelings for her vacuum cleaner that she felt had a soul, and she wanted to sanction matrimony between humans and vacuum cleaners.

    The other he liked was the "Wal-Mart mercenary", a crusader who takes his job seriously, working for the store that brought him employment, pride, euphoria, financial stability, and discounts on everything he buys, plus his swift fanatical vows to vanquish those who don't pay for the precious merchandise.

    And the parable of the polish horse-wipper and his favorite son "untainted young Zachary of the scorched Barley field" and his common barn mouse who wore a coat of many colors!

    And the parables of Jim Carrey the baptizer and his merry wilderness men (prophets and disciples).

    The wooden boy in the belly of a whale, who became a real boy, and grew up to be Jesus Christ!

    And we mailed a letter to congress titled "A treatise on the rights of mankind to subdue aquatic life in all it's myriad forms":
    I want what every man wants, a pond chock full of goldfish, a celestial configuration of liquid teaming with life, contrived by me, devised by me, and ruled by me..."would I be out of line in suggesting a turtle", spaketh Jesus of Nazareth thus? " Absolutely not! " Said Mary Magdalene. Every man wants control!

    Obama was the President at that time I think!

    But if you have a favorite used colostomybag salesman, do share the details of your interactions and the lessons you learned from him.

    Or any good contributions you might have for a sacred text. I want to go door to door like a Jehovah's witness and start preaching, so could use your helpful thoughts and insights , and sacred passages!