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Rejoice when your faith is challenged!

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    Rejoice when your faith is challenged!



    Today I had some unexpected visitors. I just felt very uncomfortable like one of them really didn't like me, and usually I'm really cool with that and don't give a shit. But it kinda shook me up a bit today.

    In the end it's pride and vanity. He probably thinks I'm a weirdo cuz my apartment has pictures of Fascist Dictators, dead girls , manifestos, prayers, vision boards, and heroes taped to my walls. He was constantly looking everywhere and not saying anything. Just had a WTF kinda look on his face.

    Plus I shook his hands and my hand was wet just with water but I should have been silently blessing and praying for my guests and greeting them with a smile and hospitality. He wiped his hand on his pants after shaking my hand with a look like he was uncomfortable.

    Usually I'm not self-conscious about stupid shit or people's opinions, but I'm going to be my own person and not conform to the standards of others so as to not offend or be misunderstood.

    I hate superficiality and hiding who I really am an won't do it. But anyway, it was an awkward time that just felt like bad vibes.

    In the end! Who gives a shit? Did I really cause him them grief? Hell no! When you offend someone or make them uncomfortable, don't dwell on it. Bless them, pray for them, desire what is best for them, and worry not.

    When in the presence of someone you can silently bless them from your heart and it shows on your countenance to make the situation lighter.

    I friggin hate having visitors though. My apartment is a shrine to the dead and Kami. It's personal and sacred space to me that others won't understand, and I hate having to keep explaining shit.


    But don't like turning people away. One of the visitors was a good friend. But yeah, I'm a weirdo.

    It's interesting, really bad things that happen to me sometimes don't shake my faith or bother me as much as little subtle shit that doesn't really matter lol. Can you relate?

    My faith shall remain firm though and fixed on the Kami. Challenges and tests simply strengthen faith. There's really nothing I seem to hate more though than having company in my apartment. I can't friggin stand it and it keeps happening.

    #2
    People keep inviting themselves into my place. In Shinto, certain structures are reserved entirely for the enshrined Kami and the Public doesn't enter save for priests. That's what I was hoping my place would be. For me and the enshrined Kami.

    But maybe that's selfish? I'm a nice son of a bitch! What's a mentally ill clown necromancer in love with humanity to do? They could be Jesus in disguise.

    I'm so not cool with it though! And have had people steal from me. It's driving me nuts.

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      #3
      Click image for larger version  Name:	Isis-goddess.jpg Views:	0 Size:	700.8 KB ID:	110853 Sweet Dionisia, Nafisa Joseph, Amaterasu, and Capitol Hill Queens, I place this matter in your hands. I'm concerned that this all means I'm supposed to change something about myself. But even that isn't so clear.

      May I do what pleases you , not anyone else. What they think is none of my business. Please all Kami bless them and show me how to be a blessing to all. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

      Enlighten, heal, richly bless, and make happy all people.

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        #4
        I'll just say...its okay to feel disturbed by people's opinions of you. It's a human way to be, and, trust me, that's good.

        You invited people into your home and were gracious. How you feel about one of them being maybe opinionated on it is perfectly natural.

        I'd be jazzed to be in your shrine.

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          #5
          Yup!

          I'm being tested. Some homeless guy just shows up shortly after I made this thread, and I tell him I don't want to smoke any dope with him and close the door. He keeps knocking and asks if he could leave his bags in my apartment for a little while.

          I don't see why not. So he enters with the bags and doesn't leave. I politely explain to him I don't want any company. He begs me to freshen up in the restroom and he's living in a tent.

          So I let him. And last time he visited he spent about a half hour in the restroom shaving and left hair everywhere. Then he's always asking for food and all kinds of shit.

          I'm so sick of this bullshit, but I feel like it's a test. The Kami put up with my flaws and love me unconditionally so it's like they are seeing whether or not I will do the same for some other sick fuck.

          I mean, it's gotta suck living in a tent. I know what it's like to be homeless. So I feel like I'm not supposed to turn them down and be kind to them. Follow the golden rule.

          But it irritates the fuck out of me and I can't fuckin stand it. I'm about ready to just tell God and the Kami to fuck off. If they want a prayerful man I can be that, but this shit I've had it with! I'm done.

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            #6
            You were hungry Jesus and I fed you. You were a stranger and I welcomed you.

            Then you stole from me. I'm done. If you want the sick fucks to find relief then give them relief and heal them. I'm done with this bullshit. Totally sick of it. I seriously resent the fact that God gives sick miserable fucks their lives and doesn't put them out of their misery.

            Then keeps sending them to me to beg for shit. Fuckin kill em all!

            Then I hear something drop in my restroom and he said, "Oh that was just my pistol". It's almost like he's trying to put fear in me. Fuck it. Have him shoot me! I'm game!

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              #7
              The best is yet to come, Matt. What do you think covid is? These people are fucking themselves. They think they own the world. We can be impatient; God is not. But we truly are out here, being shunned and rejected, and it does have its limits.

              O generation of vipers... I hasten to say the end is nigh, but we are on its doorstep. Listen to them laugh. Pray with a just heart.

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                #8
                Anyone with an ounce of wisdom can see what is to happen here.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by neonspectraltoast View Post
                  I'll just say...its okay to feel disturbed by people's opinions of you. It's a human way to be, and, trust me, that's good.

                  You invited people into your home and were gracious. How you feel about one of them being maybe opinionated on it is perfectly natural.

                  I'd be jazzed to be in your shrine.
                  If you die, make sure it is anounced on Tree Fort and I'll put your sacred holy image next to the Sawdust Caesar and burn incense to plus pay homage to the both of you. Besides, you live in the state that is the Capitol of the Universe.

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                    #10
                    The world has crossed the threshold and it's overturned the order of the soul. Repent.
                     

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by neonspectraltoast View Post
                      Anyone with an ounce of wisdom can see what is to happen here.
                      He'll shoot me?

                      I hope so. Another good story to share like falling off a three story building. Near death experiences are so not boring. Plus the Ketamine and diladid injections are nice!

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                        #12
                        I kid you not. Then the dude returns wondering where his pipe is. It's like he wants to accuse me of taking it. He leaves. Then he returns and asks where his lighter is. It's like he's trying to just get as much free shit from me as possible.

                        I gave him a bagged lunch and he keeps asking me for more shit.


                        I'm totally done with these fuckers!

                        God should kill them! I suppose I deserve to die too , but I don't go pulling shit like this with people. I'll hold a sign sure, but don't bother people like this.

                        If so, well then God needs to take me out! Fuck em! You can't please everyone!

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by ill Duce View Post

                          If you die, make sure it is anounced on Tree Fort and I'll put your sacred holy image next to the Sawdust Caesar and burn incense to plus pay homage to the both of you. Besides, you live in the state that is the Capitol of the Universe.
                          I'm ready to die. This world has nothing for me. But if I die, woe unto the world. God's trying to save it, not destroy it. Don't mean to toot my own horn, not trying to be a leader, but the facts the facts, and I will give them to you, Matt...the only one who can appreciate it. I have fallen into your arms. I am a witness.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by neonspectraltoast View Post

                            I'm ready to die. This world has nothing for me. But if I die, woe unto the world. God's trying to save it, not destroy it. Don't mean to toot my own horn, not trying to be a leader, but the facts the facts, and I will give them to you, Matt...the only one who can appreciate it. I have fallen into your arms. I am a witness.
                            I appreciate it and so does Il Duce.

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                            Most importantly Almighty God does.

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                            In no way is Il Duce separated from the Creator, the lamb of God, and the Lion of Judah​. In no way is he separated from you.

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                              #15
                              I fundamentally realize he is not separate, Matt. I'm not like these fools. But he is just another link in the armor. He is not our God. Nor would he like to be.

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