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Surviving the Apocalypse

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    Surviving the Apocalypse

    1. (The hard part.) Accept Jesus Christ as your savior. You don't have to acqiesce to anything; just say it.
    2. Keep the lights down low. Don't be slothful with light. Make things cozy.
    3. Own a can opener.
    4. And I can't stress this enough: Don't go to the bathroom with the lights on. Leave the door open a crack or buy a nightlight; showering's fine.
    5. If you can, separate your trash. Recycle.
    6. Chocolate keeps evil spirits from possessing you.
    7. Drink water.
    8. Smoke cigarettes.
    9. Wear a Cape.

    #2
    All of that's fine, except the cigarettes. They make me feel sick, now. Thank fuck.

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      #3
      Why is accepting Jesus as our savior the hard part if you just have to say it??

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        #4
        You need a place too. Like, I made a pact years ago to meet my friends on the top of this particular mountain when shit goes down. Do you guys have a location picked out from where you'll ride out the apocalypse???? These things are important.

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        • Din Djarin
          Din Djarin commented
          Editing a comment
          Did you guys stash it with lots of filthy long lasting food? :-D

        #5
        I dreamed of a nuclear exploaion this morning...in LA I think...set off by the cops? le sigh

        Yeah you don't really have to smoke cigarettes.

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          #6
          i call bullshit on number 6. most women love chocolate, and most women are possessed by evil spirits.

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            #7
            Originally posted by Undies View Post
            i call bullshit on number 6. most women love chocolate, and most women are possessed by evil spirits.
            It's a trick so men will think chocolate is girly to eat, then they get possessed.

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              #8
              The dark, twisted part of my mind kinda hoped the covid thing was going to be something like Stephen King's The Stand (without the supernatural shit.) I think 99.8% of the human population died of the superflu, and 2/3 of the survivors died after that because they were old, children whose parents had died, suicide, etc. I never really worked out what I was going to do, exactly. Hoarding food and fuel were at the top of the list, then start a video library of stuff to keep me entertained for the next 20 years or so, until I died of natural causes. I'd also hoard prescription meds and liquor.

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                #9
                Originally posted by tumbling.dice View Post
                Hoarding food and fuel were at the top of the list,
                not toilet paper?

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                  #10
                  Originally posted by Undies View Post

                  not toilet paper?
                  I'll use $100 bills.

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                  • Dr. Doom
                    Dr. Doom commented
                    Editing a comment
                    are they Venezuelan?

                  #11
                  Covid's not over...

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                    #12
                    God's not dead.

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