Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

The Confessional

Collapse
This topic has been answered.
X
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • The Confessional

    I thought I should expose my evil deeds. Well, one of them anyway. But I didn't want it to get buried in some general discussion thread. So after I confess to what a horrible fucking sinner I am, I invite anyone who wishes to drop their own confessions here as well. I will ask though, let's keep it out of the pit.

    Ok, so I have been doing a lot of shoplifting since I have been able to wear a mask everywhere I go. I haven't done any shoplifting since I was a teenager, but a year or so ago it happened by accident, so to speak. I was in a grocery store hoarding dog food which included a flat of canned dog food below the main basket on the cart. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I was not charged for the 24 cans of Pedigree.

    I didn't go back, but I was concerned that the store would notice the mismatch on their inventory report and then roll back the hours of video they take daily from dozens of ceiling cameras. It would be easy to see me putting the cans on the cart and then wheeling them out to the parking lot. They'd only have to invest 36 or so hours of video review and investigation time to possibly figure out what kind of vehicle I drove. Suddenly I realized that the math would never allow that to happen. Nobody will put out a dragnet for $14 worth of dog food.

    I'm not trying to make a career of this. But I have begun to exploit the holes in each of the local grocery stores overall security. For one, I rarely grab more then 1 item, so I go after value. Stuff like smoked paprika, melatonin, smoked oysters, artichoke hearts and lately, caviar. In fact, it's my caviar jones that's threatening to ruin me. Of course you don't get Beluga at Publix, but you do get two ounces of Romanoff Black Lumpfish (priced at $10) in a little jar that's too easy to conceal.

    Sooooo, I have 35 jars of caviar that expires in 2024. And for that, I confess!



  • Answer selected by WritersPanic at 01-28-2022, 02:04 AM.

    Quark’s China Tale coming up in a few hours. Will sit down to write it later.

    And to WP, that’s hilarious. I love a good heist.

    Comment


    • #2
      I've tried dog food before!

      It tastes just like it smells! DELICIOUS!

      Comment


      • #3
        Originally posted by ill Duce
        I've tried dog food before!

        It tastes just like it smells! DELICIOUS!
        Any particular brand?

        Comment


        • #4
          I confess,
          I have received Holy Communion recently having only confessed my mortal sins to Saint Louis De Montfort, and asked him to grant me absolution sacrament, rather than going to a confession booth with a priest who is alive and kicking!

          I guess that is a very serious sin , but I use the treasures of Holy Eucharist to feed the dead girls at Capitol Hill that I pray to "Capitol Hill Queens!"

          They are Jesus freaks, so I didn't receive the Communion for myself anyway but for some hungry ghosts starving for the flesh and blood of the lamb!

          I do what the voices inside tell me to do.

          On second thought, if Louis De Montfort absolved me, I'm clean and pure as a lily!

          Comment


          • #5
            Originally posted by WritersPanic

            Any particular brand?
            It was so long ago. But I'm sure it was indeed. My mother at the time was an internal medicine Doctor, so I'm sure she didn't buy the dogs no junk.

            Comment


            • WritersPanic
              WritersPanic commented
              Editing a comment
              I was asking for a prepper I know!

          • #6
            WritersPanic if you have a Target in your area, don't steal from there. I've been told that they ignore petty theft until they have enough to charge you with a felony, and then they jump on you. They have a really advanced security system, too, so they track your behavior in a more advanced way than other stores.

            I also appreciate your posting an ACTUAL confession, not some bullshit one.

            I've never been one to take stuff from stores, except once when I was 4 or 5. I wasn't very sly about it though, I just opened a candy bar in the middle of the store and started eating it. My parents made me tell the cashier and apologize, lol. It was a Hershey's Cookies & Cream bar. So good.

            Comment


            • #7
              I have plenty sins I've confessed elsewhere already on this forum. Lately, it is laziness that is the vice I want to eradicate from life.

              But in the past pride, lust, anger, hate, unforgiveness, selfishness, covetousness, envy, gluttony, drug addiction, fornication, and physical assault with a weapon, destruction of property, many thefts, and worthless behavior that makes the OP seem rather innocent and spotless in comparison!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Youfreeme
                WritersPanic if you have a Target in your area, don't steal from there. I've been told that they ignore petty theft until they have enough to charge you with a felony, and then they jump on you. They have a really advanced security system, too, so they track your behavior in a more advanced way than other stores.

                I also appreciate your posting an ACTUAL confession, not some bullshit one.

                I've never been one to take stuff from stores, except once when I was 4 or 5. I wasn't very sly about it though, I just opened a candy bar in the middle of the store and started eating it. My parents made me tell the cashier and apologize, lol. It was a Hershey's Cookies & Cream bar. So good.
                I sometimes wonder if I'm just losing my mind. Or is it just because I hate corporations and want to take whatever I can from them? Regardless, I have no interest in making a living out of this. I generally only swipe 1 object. Since I'm an old man, I can pull the age card, but it can't be done regularly. So I have to concentrate on not getting caught.

                For the moment though, I have enough caviar for a party. Or, I could just put it all back and make their model quantities go all to hell. That would cost the evil corporation even more just trying to figure out what happened. I can't pilfer from Targ'et, my neighbor works there.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by ill Duce
                  I have plenty sins I've confessed elsewhere already on this forum. Lately, it is laziness that is the vice I want to eradicate from life.

                  But in the past pride, lust, anger, hate, unforgiveness, selfishness, covetousness, envy, gluttony, drug addiction, fornication, and physical assault with a weapon, destruction of property, many thefts, and worthless behavior that makes the OP seem rather innocent and spotless in comparison!
                  Sounds like you have enough material for a novel!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    A worker at Wal-Mart just told me "baskets go over there" at checkout, and I passive-aggressively said, "I don't work here." That really annoyed me, though. My confession.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Another confession: I smoke pot, and I love boobs. Glad I got that off my conscience.

                      Bewbs.gif

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quark’s China Tale coming up in a few hours. Will sit down to write it later.

                        And to WP, that’s hilarious. I love a good heist.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Quark
                          Quark’s China Tale coming up in a few hours. Will sit down to write it later.

                          And to WP, that’s hilarious. I love a good heist.
                          Thanks, it's weirdly therapeutic. I don't particularly care for that sort of caviar.

                          Comment


                          • Lynnbrown
                            Lynnbrown commented
                            Editing a comment
                            lol

                        • #14
                          I will eagerly read this thread, and have no intention of revealing a single solitary "secret" I'm not thrilled and proud of. lol

                          ok...return to posting as normal

                          Comment


                          • #15
                            OK, I lied, another thing I need to work on. I don't have 35 jars of caviar.

                            I have 53.

                            Comment

                            Working...
                            X
                            😀
                            🥰
                            🤢
                            😎
                            😡
                            👍
                            👎