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**Matthew Mussolini** · 02-03-2021, 09:42 PM

I used to practice Buttism.

That's where you stare at butts.

**neonspectraltoast** · 02-03-2021, 09:47 PM

He was shy about his beliefs. He poked fun at hippie new age stuff. But his lyrics kind of betray that at times.

Curiously, as a child, he had an imaginary friend named Boddah.

**Audiogen** · 02-03-2021, 09:57 PM

Since you're lumping in Atheists, I'll respond. I wouldn't say I worship anything, Music would probably be the closest to that, probably moreso when I was younger. Drugs and erotic dancing girls can evoke a mystical experience for me, both of which enhanced when paired with music.

**neonspectraltoast** · 02-03-2021, 10:05 PM

I wouldn't say I worship anything. I do care about, though.

If I worship anything, it's humanity.

I don't serve humanity, though. I serve a higher "power." (I don't like the emphasis on power.)

**Sooz** · 02-03-2021, 10:37 PM

Fuck off matt

**PacificDude** · 02-04-2021, 10:05 AM

Originally posted by ill Duce View Post

...I have a soft spot in my heart for suicides, but especially suicides like Curt who had fortune and fame which was disguised as his friend and all the cheering crowds that made it sound like He was the Paul McCartney of his time.

I'll possibly put his picture on my wall as "family Kami", (and I encourage Pacific dude to do the same

)

Curt Cobain used to be a janitor like I was. Amazing how far he went with a small band of only three people.

I've written a lot of poems about/for Kurt Cobain. Haiku always works best for me:

Much money and fame
Will not save you in the end
Look at Kurt Cobain

**6-eyed** · 02-06-2021, 03:01 AM

I believe there are thousands of unsolved mysteries to the universe that neither religion or science can explain.

Christians, Scientologists, Mormons, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists and more all share one thing in common: an origin story of life and the universe as we know it. Humans are a curious species; they have been wanting to know the answer to how it all began, and why we exist. Religions pretend to have all the answers to these questions just to garner more followers.

Science has disproven a lot of religious theories over the years about the origin story. And I think humanity has progressed through these scientific discoveries, despite how religion has tried to suppress this information. Atheists are very quick to side with science over faith for many logical reasons.

Science cannot and has not been able to explain the paranormal, the supernatural, and remarkable occurrences. When I talk about my paranormal experiences to atheists, they just dismiss it as coincidence, a false memory, or "you were just drunk or high." Science cannot test the paranormal or supernatural, because they are one-time occurring events that cannot be studied.

To conclude, I don't believe existing religions have all the answers. And I don't think science can explain absolutely everything about life and the universe. I do believe that supernatural events and miracles are brought on by a supernatural power. Most likely a Deity or more. Supernatural experiences I've had, along with my views of society and human nature, are the reasons I am no longer an atheist.

**Matthew Mussolini** · 02-06-2021, 03:20 AM

Originally posted by 6-eyed View Post

I believe there are thousands of unsolved mysteries to the universe that neither religion or science can explain.

Christians, Scientologists, Mormons, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists and more all share one thing in common: an origin story of life and the universe as we know it. Humans are a curious species; they have been wanting to know the answer to how it all began, and why we exist. Religions pretend to have all the answers to these questions just to garner more followers.

Science has disproven a lot of religious theories over the years about the origin story. And I think humanity has progressed through these scientific discoveries, despite how religion has tried to suppress this information. Atheists are very quick to side with science over faith for many logical reasons.

Science cannot and has not been able to explain the paranormal, the supernatural, and remarkable occurrences. When I talk about my paranormal experiences to atheists, they just dismiss it as coincidence, a false memory, or "you were just drunk or high." Science cannot test the paranormal or supernatural, because they are one-time occurring events that cannot be studied.

To conclude, I don't believe existing religions have all the answers. And I don't think science can explain absolutely everything about life and the universe. I do believe that supernatural events and miracles are brought on by a supernatural power. Most likely a Deity or more. Supernatural experiences I've had, along with my views of society and human nature, are the reasons I am no longer an atheist.

Awesome! I can't argue with that.

**Matthew Mussolini** · 02-06-2021, 03:52 AM

Originally posted by PacificDude View Post

I've written a lot of poems about/for Kurt Cobain. Haiku always works best for me:

Much money and fame
Will not save you in the end
Look at Kurt Cobain

I'm actually of the impression that the Spirit of Kurt Cobain speaks to people from the other side , and you are one of them. Kami speak not to the audible ears but they leave impressions on the mind and in the heart and sometimes leave signs and coincidences.

Like, I was drawn to Nafisa Joseph , another rich, famous, beautiful, successful celebrity who committed suicide while she was in her twenties and began to invoke her and enshrine her, feeling she was speaking to me.

I then began to get interested in Mussolini shortly after, almost at the same time even. I googled Nafisa Joseph's death day and it was Mussolini's birthday, July 29. The wikipedia article said she was a close relative of Tagore. I google Tagore and found out that he was Mussolini's favorite writer.

Mussolini invited Tagore to Italy , and afterwards Tagore was criticized for "singing the praises of Mussolini". Nafisa's last name is Joseph, and in the Old Testament Joseph had control of all of Pharoah's household and possessions. Pharoah said, "Go to Joseph".

It seemed like Mussolini was saying, "Go to Joseph. I have placed her in charge". Both Pharoah's and Caesars were thought to be God. Jesus was thought to be God Incarnate as well, and the Father of Jesus on earth was Joseph. It means Joseph was in charge of God and superior as his Father, so that Jesus being greater than Joseph, still obeyed Joseph. Kind of like Pharoah being superior to Joseph, still obeyed Joseph.

This lead to a deep relationship with Nafisa Joseph.

There were also lots of other coincidences involving her. Mussolini's favorite visitor who left the largest impression on him was Gandhi. Nafisa Joseph's favorite person was Gandhi, and she always held a book with Gandhi quotes when she was nervous back stage.

On the Hindu nine night devotion (celebration festival) to the Mother Goddess Durga, I decided to make a Novena (nine day prayer devotion) to Nafisa Joseph. First day of that Novena , a Jewish friend brought me a Gandhi pin with Gandhi's birthdy.

On October 2nd (during the 9 day Novena) I googled Gandhi, and was slightly shocked to discover his birthday was that very day (October second). That day I saw a video that said VJ Nafisa Joseph, and clicked on it because I had just read "August 15 is VJ day for "Victory over Japan".

Well, in her video Jockey video she was asking people when national Indian Independence day was, and the response was "August 15" (VJ day (day Japan surrendered). I walked outside and saw a cigarette pack that said "Smokin Joe's". Smokin means "Sexy" and Joe stands for Joseph. On the Cigarette pack is an Indian. Nafisa Joseph was Indian. I'm pretty sure the Indian was "Chief Joseph". I googled "Smokin Joe's" and saw their headquarters was in India.

Chief Joseph was called "Red Napoleon". Napoleon Bonaparte's birthday just happens to be "National India day" and "Feast of the Assumption" VJ day, August 15th.

What I'm saying is that is how the Kami speak to me. I'll feel drawn to a Kami, begin to pray for them and to them, and suddenly a string of coincidences begin to happen and a bunch of dots that can be connected.

You have to be a detective and simply solve them.

The fact that you chose your avatar as Kurt Kobain and write poems about him tells me he could be one of your patron Kami, kinda like a guardian Angel, familial Spirit, someone you were destined for and are drawn to not by mere chance.

If you bless Kurt, pray for his soul, he will in turn bless you. I feel he is in the process of restoration, transformation, healing, and blooming (in bloom is my favorite song of his btw).

**PacificDude** · 02-06-2021, 07:28 AM

Originally posted by ill Duce View Post

I'm actually of the impression that the Spirit of Kurt Cobain speaks to people from the other side , and you are one of them. Kami speak not to the audible ears but they leave impressions on the mind and in the heart and sometimes leave signs and coincidences...

The fact that you chose your avatar as Kurt Kobain and write poems about him tells me he could be one of your patron Kami, kinda like a guardian Angel, familial Spirit, someone you were destined for and are drawn to not by mere chance.

If you bless Kurt, pray for his soul, he will in turn bless you. I feel he is in the process of restoration, transformation, healing, and blooming (in bloom is my favorite song of his btw).

I don't believe Kurt is speaking to me personally, but I do believe in the power of awesome music - and his lyrics are profound and totally spiritual if you listen to/examine them closely.

I used to have a Nirvana poster, but it got lost (ironically) when I moved to the Pacific Northwest... haha. It's interesting to me that you pray for the souls of the dead? I pretty much pray for people that are still living - they're the ones that need prayers big time. That's where we differ - I don't believe in an actual Heaven or Hell for the departed - the only Heaven or Hell we need concern ourselves with is what we are experiencing NOW.

Once we die we are forever released from all pain and suffering (no matter what so-called sins we are guilty of). I gave up on organized religion a long time ago, and a lot of what you say sounds like Catholicism to me. Now I do pray to Mother Teresa, but she is an exception to the rule big time. She put her words in action, while the Pope only pretends to walk in the footsteps of Jesus.

I also pray to Jesus because I believe he existed and genuinely cared about humanity. I don't believe for a second that most Christians follow in his footsteps - they merely parrot his words and don't act on them in a genuine way. It's all artifice.

Buddha is my main source of spiritual hope and healing. Zen Buddhism has saved my life 1001 times. I never jumped, but I was at the precipice - and mindfulness is the only reason I am still here and able to type these words.

Now I'm gonna cut to the chase...haha. My Holy Trinity : Mother Teresa/Jesus/Buddha. I keep their images in my small shrine, and pray/meditate there at the start and conclusion of each day. It's also possible to meditate and say silent prayers for the world as we do all the things we do during the hours we are awake. But action is very important. I know you have spoken about gratitude and giving thanks for everything you experience (good and bad) in life, and we are in total agreement about that big time.

However, I would never add Kurt (or anybody else) to my Holy Trinity. It's cool to pray to the Saints for strength and guidance, but Kurt was a different kind of saint - he was the kind Mother Teresa mentioned. BTW, my favorite Nirvana songs are Come As You Are and Smells Like Teen Spirit. Keep on speaking your Truth! Peace :-)

**Matthew Mussolini** · 02-06-2021, 05:50 PM

Originally posted by PacificDude View Post

I don't believe Kurt is speaking to me personally, but I do believe in the power of awesome music - and his lyrics are profound and totally spiritual if you listen to/examine them closely.

I used to have a Nirvana poster, but it got lost (ironically) when I moved to the Pacific Northwest... haha. It's interesting to me that you pray for the souls of the dead? I pretty much pray for people that are still living - they're the ones that need prayers big time. That's where we differ - I don't believe in an actual Heaven or Hell for the departed - the only Heaven or Hell we need concern ourselves with is what we are experiencing NOW.

Once we die we are forever released from all pain and suffering (no matter what so-called sins we are guilty of). I gave up on organized religion a long time ago, and a lot of what you say sounds like Catholicism to me. Now I do pray to Mother Teresa, but she is an exception to the rule big time. She put her words in action, while the Pope only pretends to walk in the footsteps of Jesus.

I also pray to Jesus because I believe he existed and genuinely cared about humanity. I don't believe for a second that most Christians follow in his footsteps - they merely parrot his words and don't act on them in a genuine way. It's all artifice.

Buddha is my main source of spiritual hope and healing. Zen Buddhism has saved my life 1001 times. I never jumped, but I was at the precipice - and mindfulness is the only reason I am still here and able to type these words.

Now I'm gonna cut to the chase...haha. My Holy Trinity : Mother Teresa/Jesus/Buddha. I keep their images in my small shrine, and pray/meditate there at the start and conclusion of each day. It's also possible to meditate and say silent prayers for the world as we do all the things we do during the hours we are awake. But action is very important. I know you have spoken about gratitude and giving thanks for everything you experience (good and bad) in life, and we are in total agreement about that big time.

However, I would never add Kurt (or anybody else) to my Holy Trinity. It's cool to pray to the Saints for strength and guidance, but Kurt was a different kind of saint - he was the kind Mother Teresa mentioned. BTW, my favorite Nirvana songs are Come As You Are and Smells Like Teen Spirit. Keep on speaking your Truth! Peace :-)

That's an awesome quote from Mother Teresa. I am experiencing hell trying to get my brain to adjust to learning how to produce Dopamine without Meth and it's total hell. I am offering up my suffering for the drug addicts in our world.

I hope you are right about no suffering once we die. I'm not really of the Catholic belief in Heaven , Hell, and purgatory, but yes, you and I do differ on the belief that spirits are eternal. I had a Spiritual awakening of sorts when I was in a wheelchair for ten weeks.

It was a kind, beautiful, sweetheart (Buddhist) girl from Cambodia that always wanted to play cards with me while I was in my wheelchair vomiting and pissing myself. She didn't care apparently because she had been a CNA and she told me it was human.

I had my urethra filled with scar tissue so had a full bladder for weeks, they couldn't get a catheter in, and when they did the surgery, I was urinating blood clots larger than marbles which was worse than broken bones.

All I could really think about was Christ crucified and his command that we must carry our cross daily. A cross is something you suffer and die on. That consoled me for some reason, along with the thought that my suffering was an offering I could offer up for people suffering in wheel chairs.

(Oddly enough I dreamed last night about lieutenant Dan from forest Gump last night and felt like I should pray for vetrans and people in wheelchairs because I know it's hell.)

My greatest consolation was this Buddhist girl from Cambodia. I was well versed in Cambodia due to my studies of Pol Pot and the Vietnam war.

But I was happy with this girl no matter what my situation, whether we were coloring, playing cards, talking, recreating. She was a Heaven send , and she was heaven itself at that moment, like I've never experienced, and a better Christian in her behavior towards me than any Christian. When she was discharged I was heart broken and just slept all day sad, but I wouldn't trade meeting her for the world.

Her name was "Veronica", the same name as the woman who cleaned the face of Christ when he was carrying his cross on Calvary.

You are correct that the living need our prayers, but I can't shake the conviction that the dead speak to me though. It is truly the living who are experiencing hell and need our prayers the most, and even more than that they need our love and good deeds.

But I visit Capitol Hill, Saint Paul every day, and pray for those who have left their bodies behind , because I found a military Jacket the beginning of a Memorial day weekend a few years back. It was dated 1969, and I went to the Capitol building and googled Elizabeth Perry (from the Twin Cities) who died Memorial weekend 1969.

That very memorial day, after receiving the coat, I took a different walk home and discovered a war memorial to all WWII vetrans, a big stone plaque where all the Minnesotans who died in Vietnam was carved into stone, next to all the Korean War Vetrans with the comment, "We were young, we gave our lives, please remember us". Thing is, I wasn't looking for a war memorial on memorial day, and I was wearing a soldier's military Jacket that I just found memorial weekend.

I find a lot of peace visiting Capitol Hill and praying at those memorials even more than I feel at a Church or anywhere, because I felt some victims of murder and suicide introduced themselves to me as "Captiol Hill Queens/Kings" before knowing there was any place called Capitol Hill in the state of Minnesota.

I thought it was Washington DC they were talking about (or it was just my imagination). But years later I was moved to a shelter as a result of the injuries that was right next to a place I heard people call "Capitol Hill", and was slightly amazed by the coincidence.

I'm skeptic of everything , but we are all on an individual journey. I would tell you and everyone, follow your conscience and listen to your heart.

My Religion is more of a Shinto Catholic Buddhist mix. Most Shinto adherents are also Buddhist. I don't believe the Bible is without error, so that kinda disqualifies me from being a Catholic. But in Shinto there is only one real Dogma and that is that the dead become Kami (Spirits). There are no Scriptures and no known founder in Shinto, so it doesn't really contradict Catholicism in anything it teaches (per say).

But I would never criticise a Buddhist or Hindu for their faith. I see them or anyone as being on a different path with a different calling. My Religion is very weird to a lot of people so I'm the last one who should judge someone or say they need to practice what I do.

I'm the last one who should judge anyone because I'm a drug addict. Maybe if I ever keep my apartment clean and more importantly keep my body clean off drugs, keep my mind clean from lust, pride, anger, covetousness, laziness, unforgiveness, and sin, then I can start judging, but for now I have three fingers pointing back at me if I judge anyone. Hahaha! :-)

The people Jesus had the biggest problem with were Religious people of his time

Peace and good will to you

**PacificDude** · 02-06-2021, 08:05 PM

Matt, you can help your mind and body best by praying, eating nourishing meals, and reaching out to other like-minded people big time. When I am in any kind of great physical/mental pain.... The Serenity Prayer helps me make it through. Also, the Our Father prayer (aka The Lord's Prayer) is good for healing the body and soul.

Mostly, you just need to cut yourself some slack, and place yourself first during your recent recovery time. Don't pay attention to the negative stuff that you see online and in the real world - save all your energy to take the steps you will have to take one day at a time (or even one minute - remember what Mother Teresa said about the small things?). Keeping it Simple really does make a lot of sense when you stop and think about it. Otherwise you will start to feel overwhelmed, and risk relapsing big time.

Also, even if you only take some form of small action each day - it's still significant in your recovery. If you feel like you're not making progress, just remember what you don't do is just as important as what you do. There's a time for action, and there's a time for reflective inaction. But every moment you remain clean and sober is a small victory leading to total recovery.

I will continue to pray for you, and I hope you will return the favor big time... haha. My life is far from perfect, and each day is a battle I suffer gladly (as most people do). Here's my daily list of healthy things to do:

1. Pray/meditate

2. Nourish my body

3. Avoid conflict and negative thoughts big time

4. Do something physical (walking, cleaning, sorting out clutter, etc.)

5. Don't isolate too much

6. Be kind to somebody

7. Be kind to myself

8. Be grateful for the good things

9. Be grateful for the bad things

10. Hold tight to Hope

Just keep it as simple as you can, and take each step forward with gratitude and faith big time. And don't get discouraged when you fall - there's often a spiritual reason for that. Everybody falls. Everybody fails. But there's a spiritual lesson there if we embrace it and use it to pick ourselves up and start all over again. I have faith that you are gonna make it because you have Great Spirits like Mother Teresa on your side. The hard part is learning to have faith in yourself. It will happen... Peace and Light :-)

**Jessica** · 02-13-2021, 01:07 PM

I actually think "Describe your religion in a paragraph" is a decent, conversation-provoking thread title.. I hope you don't object, Duce, but I will edit the "or tell me to fuck off!" part out : )

I don't think it's necessary and some might find it off-putting. Thank you for understanding!

**Jessica** · 02-13-2021, 01:14 PM

My religion is the belief that life is a game, and the meaning of it is to Experience.

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