Meeting an Ex

[6-eyed]

My high school sweetheart found me on tinder a while back. We haven’t seen each other in 15 years so it’d be nice to see her again. Only problem is she’s been too busy to make that happen thus far. Since we split up, she’s gone on to have 4 kids from 2 different men (which is why she’s so busy). So her relationship marketplace value is way low, and I don’t wanna raise her kids. We’ve made plans to meet, only to have her family life interfere and cancel it. Her kids are a dealbreaker for me, and there’s a part of me that wants to have at least one kid of my own. And I doubt she wants a 5th one. She still sends me cleavage photos in text messages. I want to see her again and make love for old time sake.

Any of you ever reunited with an ex?

[Jessica]

sooo not a good idea. but since you will pursue anyway, make sure she knows the deal! don't be an asshole, even if her marketplace value is low.

I have not reunited with an ex, no. They're either still my friends all along, or I've never seen them again.

[Undies]

A few times as friends, never anything beyond that.

[Meliai]

your ex has a whole luggage rack full of baggage, 6

I haven't reunited after a long period of time like that. When I was like like..maybe 24 i bumped into the guy I dated when I was around 19 to 21 and we started hanging out a little again. We made out one night and I think it freaked both of us out and we decided not to revisit anything after all. I don't think I would have any interest in meeting him if I bumped into him now, or saw him on a dating app. He doesn't even feel like a tangible person to me anymore, just a wisp of a ghost from the past. Time is weird like that.

and I have an ex I'm on friendly terms with. Very rarely, maybe twice a year we'll hang out. We don't hook up though. We were toxic together and i have zero desire to revisit that. He was a terrible boyfriend but actually a very decent and loyal person to have as a friend, which is why I'm still friendly with him.

I would just make sure you and your ex are on the same page if you meet up. You don't want her fantasizing about making you the stepdad or anything.

[Din Djarin]

Just encountered them again, not reconciled with any in a romantic way. Why in earth do you wanna make love for old times sake with this ex, 6-eyed It seems not worth the uhm carnal pleasure :P Unless it would be your only chance on getting some (which it is not )

[6-eyed]

She was the one who took my virginity back in the day. So it'd be for nostalgic interest and thrills.

[Amerijuanican]

Tell her you want it back lol

[6-eyed]

your ex has a whole luggage rack full of baggage, 6

I haven't reunited after a long period of time like that. When I was like like..maybe 24 i bumped into the guy I dated when I was around 19 to 21 and we started hanging out a little again. We made out one night and I think it freaked both of us out and we decided not to revisit anything after all. I don't think I would have any interest in meeting him if I bumped into him now, or saw him on a dating app. He doesn't even feel like a tangible person to me anymore, just a wisp of a ghost from the past. Time is weird like that.

and I have an ex I'm on friendly terms with. Very rarely, maybe twice a year we'll hang out. We don't hook up though. We were toxic together and i have zero desire to revisit that. He was a terrible boyfriend but actually a very decent and loyal person to have as a friend, which is why I'm still friendly with him.

I would just make sure you and your ex are on the same page if you meet up. You don't want her fantasizing about making you the stepdad or anything.

That's some sound advice for sure. Even if we don't go all the way, it'd be nice to revisit an old friend. We had an ugly break up back in the day over some lies, theft, betrayal and more. Eventually we had closure over a phone call about 10 years ago. Around that time she already had her first kid.

I'm sure by now she's a much different person after having single-mother responsibilities, and got a lot more mature since I last saw her. I doubt I'd be able to trust her with much due to our history.

[Audiogen]

Once, nothing romantic and did not enjoy it. Other than responding to her questions, I basically just let her talk the whole time.

[Undies]

I'm sure by now she's a much different person after having single-mother responsibilities, and got a lot more mature since I last saw her. I doubt I'd be able to trust her with much due to our history.

I've met several parents that make me think raising kids does nothing to increase maturity.

[Irminsul]

I can't see meeting someone from highschool to be that big of a deal I mean even to me that was nearly 15 years ago and if I had an ex back then, you've both changed so much I don't know why there would be some sort of hidden agenda, and I don't know why if there was you'd be looking back at something 15-40 years ago anyway. You guys aren't the same people anymore no matter how much you think it or want it.

[Amerijuanican]

I've met several parents that make me think raising kids does nothing to increase maturity.

Some people just aren't cut out to be parents no matter what their age or situation.

[lode]

Jackie, the one I raised her daughter with for four years called me up one night after we split. When she left she disappeared completely, and I hadn't heard about her or the daughter except from a few brief texts from her sister confirming they were safe.

She came over one night under the house of wanting to talk. So I let her in. She tried to hook up and I uncharacteristically turned her down. Nothing so dramatic that night.

Later her sister told me that she had her birth control implant removed and was trying to get a revenge pregnancy going. Her words.

[WritersPanic]

One day, nearly a year since she walked out on me, she walks into the store. All smiling and happy to see me and remarking on how much weight I lost (Columbian Diet). She asked me to dinner at her place and I agreed. What started the downward spiral was the dog, it had completely forgotten me. After eating she put the moves on me fast basically doing all the things I had to beg for previously. It was exhausting, but excellent. Until I tried to wake her at 2AM with romance in mind.

[WritersPanic]

Out came the claws, as if by instinct. It was like a flashback to how miserable I really was with her for the last year we were together. Her contempt for me came back like a Taco Bell ghost. I couldn't get dressed fast enough. That's when she started crying and telling me how wrong she was for leaving. I finally got out of her that I was all she and her clock had going. All I wanted was a couple of lines and a beer.

[WritersPanic]

I packed up and moved to Florida after several months dating a stripper. I never saw my almost wife again. Three years later I married my current spousal unit. Thirty years of bliss and all it cost me was a house, 4 cars and 2 college degrees, for her! I don't own anything, except my pot, but I claim recycler on that. I'm Carbon-adled.

[Quark]

She still sends me cleavage photos in text messages. I want to see her again and make love for old time sake.

Any of you ever reunited with an ex?

You don’t make love to girls that sends pics like that. You tie em up and leave little burns all over their back with a heated up Bic lighter. ?

—————

I met with one while I was still back in Canada. Recently broke it off with her fiancé (phone put the accent on the E - I’m not that fancy) and wanted to walk down memory lane I guess.

Will never forget the “What do you do? ?” she gave me.

[Youfreeme]

Jackie, the one I raised her daughter with for four years called me up one night after we split. When she left she disappeared completely, and I hadn't heard about her or the daughter except from a few brief texts from her sister confirming they were safe.

She came over one night under the house of wanting to talk. So I let her in. She tried to hook up and I uncharacteristically turned her down. Nothing so dramatic that night.

Later her sister told me that she had her birth control implant removed and was trying to get a revenge pregnancy going. Her words.

That is so fucking scary. This situation is one of those unspoken things that men in particular have to face and that doesn't really get talked about. Had she done that, and you had had sex with her (not knowing about the lack of birth control) the odds are that you would have had to take responsibility for a child, had one been conceived. As a women, I take for granted that I (somewhat) have control of my own reproduction. Men kind of have to take their ladies' word for it. Obviously, they can always use condoms, but that can easier be said than done in real life.

Plus, it must have been so difficult to be involved with that child's life for so many years and then to have her disappear like that. 4 years is not a trivial amount to a kid. It's so shitty that she would be willing to bring you into her daughter's life, and then be willing to just separate from you. You have to me more careful when you have a child.

Bullet dodged.

[GLEN......]

Bonking Her For Old Times Sake Sounds Like A Very Bad Move....

I Say Settle For A Good Old Fashioned "Chin Wag" In A Coffee Shop.....



Cheers Glen.

[Amerijuanican]

I generally find "no contact" with an ex is the safest measure, doesn't have to be unfriendly but so many things can go wrong there, just not worth it.

[OP1]

I think it depends on the people involved and the relationship. If you've had fucked-up relationships with fucked-up people, then yes, stay away. Even if it wasn't fucked up but there's still some baggage, that's reason to stay away. In principle at least, people can get along after a breakup, or even get back together successfully in some cases.