CMR commitments

[Pete's Draggun]

CMR= Committed Monogamous Relationship

Commitments and vows are exchanged during a wedding/marriage.

Did you/have you made/have a Commitment/promise to your CMR, parent, child, friend....ect?

In writing?
Verbally?

Has a person made a Commitment towards you and broke it?

Was there a pass given by you to the person? Did the person give you a pass?



Triple S and I have some Committed monogamous relationship Commitments other than the obvious one of being exclusive with each other, but not limited to.....

v

I've Committed to a sober lifestyle with her.
I've Committed to never physically harm her
I've Committed to always trust her

She's Committed to not drinking around me
She's Committed to never physically harm me
She's Committed to always trust me



These were all verbal committments

[Din Djarin]

Nope, sounds beta to me

[6-eyed]

?

[Undies]

i don't think i've ever verbalized commitments? maybe like an "i'll definitely do some thing" but that has a different feel than "i commit to this thing".

i definitely have not put any such things into writing. well, i suppose i've signed contracts, but i don't think work commitments with other organizations really count.

[Meliai]

^ You've never had the "relationship talk" to confirm you are indeed committing to a relationship?

I dont think I have either actually. It's never felt necessary.
It's usually like, this gradual realization we're spending more and more time together to the point where it's unlikely either of us are dating other people, and then one day one of us introduces the other as their girlfriend or boyfriend, and it feels right, and that's just the way it is from that point onward. I think that's exactly how all my relationships have gone lol

but i havent actually entered into a new relationship in 10 years so. Maybe something I would like to approach more consciously and with clearer communication now that I'm a little bit more mature

[Jessica]

Something I read (in the book Conversations With God) that impacted me in a big way is the concept that obligation is not a good thing and making promises/vows is stupid, because you don't know who you are going to be in a years time, or even in a weeks time.

So I might make a promise today, and then in a years time I am only keeping that promise out of a sense of obligation, not because I really feel or believe in keeping it. And does anyone like the thought that someone else is only doing something for them because they feel obliged, but actually hate it or are unhappy about it?

Obligation means you're not free. I can still choose to do something I "don't want to do", because it benefits someone I care about, but that's not being obliged, that's choosing to do that thing, and so making it that in a sense I do want to do it.

Since agreeing with this concept, I rarely ever make promises, and I don't ask them of other people.

So I guess the only two Commitments I'm willing to give to a relationship, and the only two I require, are that:

1)I commit to being 100% honest, every day, about what I want, think and feel

and

2) I commit to always listening to, and respecting, the other person's truth

[Meliai]

Hard agree on all of this

[Amerijuanican]

^ You've never had the "relationship talk" to confirm you are indeed committing to a relationship?

I dont think I have either actually. It's never felt necessary.
It's usually like, this gradual realization we're spending more and more time together to the point where it's unlikely either of us are dating other people, and then one day one of us introduces the other as their girlfriend or boyfriend, and it feels right, and that's just the way it is from that point onward. I think that's exactly how all my relationships have gone lol
but i havent actually entered into a new relationship in 10 years so. Maybe something I would like to approach more consciously and with clearer communication now that I'm a little bit more mature

In my life, I have seen this seem to work for many people.

Somehow though (I'm not speaking of anyone here, but in the past in my personal life), I look back in every decade and see people that I should perhaps have given an instruction book, as they just didn't get it.

Example- In my 20s, someone who was in my mind a friend, used to tell others in our inner circle that I was their sanity person, the one who made it all worthwhile.

However, this same person, when I had hardships, turned their back on me and so did the rest. I even asked for help, but there was none. It was then that I realized that we are only good for what we have to offer, then we are disposable. The same things I was called out for, they were okay for doing. Things like that are what make the phase "What the Fuck?" a popular thing, imo.

When this keeps happening over the decades, what does it mean... that I'm stupid? Maybe. At least I have the balls to admit it.
Many who know me say I'm very levelheaded and decent, but not one to make mad. That's probably a fair assessment, though the level-headedness has been very strongly challenged. I deserve a medal for this. I have an elder who was much like me, he deserves a medal too. One fam member said he should qualify for Sainthood. Not sure that should apply to me, though Lol.

My focus remains on making my life as good as possible for tha remainder of life, and not being taken advantage of/for granted anymore.

To you all,

[Undies]

^ You've never had the "relationship talk" to confirm you are indeed committing to a relationship?

no, i don't think so. i haven't really had that many relationships that even made it to the point of being a committed thing, but in the times it did, it just felt assumed.

at least it felt assumed to me. who knows, maybe that's why they didn't last.