Can You Change Your Love Language?

[Verbe]

We all know about the love languages. Is it possible that a person could have a dominant love language but want to change it?

[neonspectraltoast]

I don't know about the love languages. All I know is that I'm easy to handle. Dull, uninteresting, but not problematic.

[neonspectraltoast]

I've had women that want me to choke them and pull their hair before, though, and I'm just not that physical. I'm very gentle. I need a little crybaby.

[Undies]

i don't see any reason you couldn't want to change it. especially if you have a partner whose love language doesn't match yours.

i don't know how well it would work trying to actually implement that change though. it probably can happen, but when it does i would guess it's more of a natural involuntary shift rather than a conscious decision.

[Jessica]

Yes, I think you can. And disagree with Undies ^, I think it's more likely to be done by conscious decision. If natural involuntary shifts worked then people wouldn't spend years in relationships where there is a love language discord. Or you at least need the conscious awareness of what's going on. Otherwise you literally just don't even recognise that the other person is showing love. Their love goes unnoticed and you feel a lack of love. You can't shift to it naturally without realising that's what it is.

The healthiest people use a mix of all the love languages anyway, probably. The main thing is to be able to interpret them, and believe that you're being shown love even when it's not the way you tend to express love. Like, instead of thinking "he doesn't love me because he never tells me", realising "oh he went out of his way to do this thing for me, that's him showing love".

You just have to be aware of it and translate it. It's best if both people meet in the middle. But I think even one person learning the other person's way of giving and receiving love can get rid of a whole load of misunderstanding.