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  • Greatest Fantasies

    What fantasies do you have that you haven’t tried yet?

    What did you once wish to do and were brave enough to act on?

  • #2
    so many. a willing partner is damn near impossible to find.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Undies
      so many. a willing partner is damn near impossible to find.
      possibly 'cause they want a guy who's three times as good looking, a foot and a half taller and five times as rich, as they are.

      statistics show that 14% of american men are being desired by 80% of the women. On dating apps... not even kidding.


      mother moon -she's calling me back to her silver womb,
      father of creation -takes me from my stolen tomb
      seventh-advent unicorn is waiting in the skies,
      a symptom of the universe, a love that never dies!
      🧙‍♂️

      Comment


      • Amerijuanican
        Amerijuanican commented
        Editing a comment
        This is the quickest example I could find. I have the other one somewhere, but I think this one will work too.
        There seem to be several..


      • Youfreeme
        Youfreeme commented
        Editing a comment
        This study is very weak. The data is self report (a huge red flag) and it's only 27 participants. Maybe there are better data, but I would take this with a HUGE grain of salt.

        I think it would be safe to say that anyone (regardless of gender) would tend to pick people who are more attractive, wealthier, or in better shape than someone who was less so? You must be vying for the attention of the ugly, fat, poor women?

        While one could argue that women tend to date "up" more often than men--that certainly can't be the outcome for most people, since the majority of people end up in a long term relationship. The actual outcome of relationships is that folks seem to marry people similar to them (in the absence of certain traits)--similar in "attractiveness level", SES, values, etc.

        I would love to see a similar study (a scientifically valid version) run in the opposite direction, or across genders. Would be interesting data for sure.

      • Youfreeme
        Youfreeme commented
        Editing a comment
        If you are interested in social psychology, then check out this article and some of the (largely well constructed!) studies that are cited in it. The "matching hypothesis"--



        "The matching hypothesis argues that people are more likely to form and succeed in a committed relationship with someone who is equally socially desirable, typically in the form of physical attraction.[1]"

    • #4
      Originally posted by Amerijuanican

      possibly 'cause they want a guy who's three times as good looking, a foot and a half taller and five times as rich, as they are.

      statistics show that 14% of american men are being desired by 80% of the women. On dating apps... not even kidding.

      A majority of men has similar ridicilous premises when swipong on a dating app Humans...

      Comment


      • #5
        Originally posted by Brad Scott
        What fantasies do you have that you haven’t tried yet?

        What did you once wish to do and were brave enough to act on?
        Not all my fantasies are ment to be lived out in reality :P

        Comment


        • Amerijuanican
          Amerijuanican commented
          Editing a comment
          So, you're admitting you don't totally live in reality?
          That answers some of my questions.

      • #6
        Originally posted by Din Djarin

        A majority of men has similar ridicilous premises when swipong on a dating app Humans...
        I doubt it! I have several books on the subject of dating in the modern age.
        Why? Because after my divorce, I had an awful lot of unanswered questions about modern male/female relationships.
        Yes, this subject is much deeper than you likely comprehend, otherwise you would not have worded it that way!

        To see the dark side of human male/female relationships and resulting "issues", go to youtube and watch some videos by "Sandman".
        and there are plenty of other dudes (and a few women...) making vids on the male side of heterosexual relationships.
        The gals include Dianna Davison and Karen Straughan.
        mother moon -she's calling me back to her silver womb,
        father of creation -takes me from my stolen tomb
        seventh-advent unicorn is waiting in the skies,
        a symptom of the universe, a love that never dies!
        🧙‍♂️

        Comment


        • #7
          Originally posted by Amerijuanican


          Yes, this subject is much deeper than you likely comprehend, otherwise you would not have worded it that way!
          Same can be said about your initial statement. My comment was not ment to cover or explain the whole subject, just to add a nuance to your comment

          You doubt a majority of men who join dating apps try and get something they crave but is either unrealistic or superficial, similar to the glorified expectations those women in your example have? Why exactly? Because of those vids you watched?

          Comment


          • Amerijuanican
            Amerijuanican commented
            Editing a comment
            Because of the aforementioned books I've read, yes the videos, and my personal experience, the exp. of my male friends, and the experiences and resulting discussions on several men's forums on the subject that I've been going to since late 2012. My D wasn't final til 1/2014, but I got pissed and moved out in summer 2012. A man can only take so much, esp. after having a stroke a few years earlier. I was @ the end of my ropes. Fuck it!

        • #8
          Originally posted by Din Djarin

          A majority of men has similar ridicilous premises when swipong on a dating app Humans...
          To get a closer look and a probable favorable swipe, all I'm really looking for is not morbidly obese. So around here, that does mean only 14% at best fit that. But I've mentioned before, I also get results from Canada, and probably at least 90% of them would get my interest if they were actually reasonably close.

          Then it's just made even worse when I actually check the profiles, and most of the Canadians seem to have great personalities while most of the Americans are just shouting in broken English about how nobody is good enough for them so don't bother messaging.

          Comment


          • Amerijuanican
            Amerijuanican commented
            Editing a comment
            Yes, this.

          • Youfreeme
            Youfreeme commented
            Editing a comment
            I wonder if part of your problem is the town you live in. It seems like it isn't a good fit for you or your personality type. Do you think you would have better results in an area with more like minded people, who share a similar lifestyle? I definitely found that when I moved between two very different areas.

          • Amerijuanican
            Amerijuanican commented
            Editing a comment
            That's highly likely .. I was planning on relocating and then we got the Covid shutdown crap.

        • #9
          Originally posted by Undies

          To get a closer look and a probable favorable swipe, all I'm really looking for is not morbidly obese. So around here, that does mean only 14% at best fit that. But I've mentioned before, I also get results from Canada, and probably at least 90% of them would get my interest if they were actually reasonably close.

          Then it's just made even worse when I actually check the profiles, and most of the Canadians seem to have great personalities while most of the Americans are just shouting in broken English about how nobody is good enough for them so don't bother messaging.
          You mentioned you're in a rural area with an unexciting town though? Although I generally hear from Americans american dating sites and apps are terrible (not primarily because of one gender lol), those conclusions do generally come from people in those environments. But the US is of course very big and diverse and the opportunities very different per area.

          Comment


          • #10
            Originally posted by Din Djarin

            You mentioned you're in a rural area with an unexciting town though? Although I generally hear from Americans american dating sites and apps are terrible (not primarily because of one gender lol), those conclusions do generally come from people in those environments. But the US is of course very big and diverse and the opportunities very different per area.
            This is true. If I expand my search settings to a 50 mile radius, I do have 3-4 mid sized cities that show up, and they do have better options (still way worse than Canada though). Unfortunately no women are willing to speak to someone that far away unless they are actually prostitutes using the app to round up customers.

            Comment


            • Amerijuanican
              Amerijuanican commented
              Editing a comment
              Yes the common comment is if you're over 20-30 minutes away, don't bother.
              I live 45-60 min. from any worthwhile town. But plan on moving soon. Would have already moved, but thanks to Covid-19...

            • Youfreeme
              Youfreeme commented
              Editing a comment
              Oops, I commented on your other post before I read this.

          • #11
            It does make me wonder what it is about living in the country that makes women gain a ton of weight and a bad attitude.

            Comment


            • Din Djarin
              Din Djarin commented
              Editing a comment
              Nothing to do and little hope or expectations left?

              I feel very fortunate in that regard (in other aspects I actually wish I would live in the States :P) that I live in a country where everything is relatively close. But even here you notice there's more 'fish in the sea' near the bustling city areas. Still, the perk is that the countryside or you if you happen to live in it, are rarely so far away that its problematic!

            • Amerijuanican
              Amerijuanican commented
              Editing a comment
              Modern Feminist entitlement

            • Youfreeme
              Youfreeme commented
              Editing a comment
              Modern feminist entitlement? ...what? How does that pertain to women in rural areas becoming fat and grumpy? If you lived in a shitty area of Ohio, maybe you'd be grumpy too

          • #12
            Originally posted by Undies
            It does make me wonder what it is about living in the country that makes women gain a ton of weight and a bad attitude.
            I think that poorer folks in America also tend to be more overweight--perhaps due to lack of education about proper nutrition as well as the comparatively cheap prices of low quality junk food.

            Comment


            • #13
              Youfreeme yes, I'm sure things would be better if I lived somewhere else. I'm working on that, but it's surprisingly difficult for some reason.

              Comment


              • #14
                Originally posted by Youfreeme

                I think that poorer folks in America also tend to be more overweight--perhaps due to lack of education about proper nutrition as well as the comparatively cheap prices of low quality junk food.
                Partly. But this is far from always a typical rural area thing me thinks? I see fat slops who seemingly have given up on trying to be in a reasonable shape in the cities too (ignoring for a minute there are also plenty of people who end up with such a figure despite caring and trying to give a shit).

                About the modern feminist argument. Very convenient for the person who made it :P But yeah, lots of fat grumpy guys who feel entitled to women who 'still look fuckable' too of course. I guess they're just being themselves ?

                Comment


                • Youfreeme
                  Youfreeme commented
                  Editing a comment
                  oh sure, there are "fat slops" everywhere, lol.

                  And yeah--it's silly. When I see shit like that I tend to lose a little respect for someone. It's a boring argument.

              • #15
                This thread is what happens when everyone who prefers comments over the quote function comes together in one place.

                Comment


                • Amerijuanican
                  Amerijuanican commented
                  Editing a comment
                  I've noticed everyone here seems to hate the comment function.
                  Perhaps we should petition to disable that function entirely!
                  I use it, because my response is directly relatable to the subject that it involves.
                  But instead, I suppose many here would rather see a response two pages afterward, and not be able to relate it to the original topic, since it isn't there to be seen.
                  Makes little sense to me.
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