FWB or BF/GF?

[tumbling.dice]

As of this morning I have a new fwb, and neither of us wants to upgrade to "relationship". Our schedules and family obligations kinda clash and we're wanting to keep our lives separate for the time being, maybe hanging out as friends eventually. I guess my upbringing makes me feel a little bad about the whole fwb thing; I'll always be a recovering Catholic. Bfs and gfs, however, have never worked out very well for me. I guess I'm selfish; I like all my time to myself unless I'm in the mood for love or want to hang out or whatever. When I try to fake interest my true introvert nature becomes obvious, leading to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Anyway, post anything you want to share on the topic. I'm curious how others feel about those things.

[Undies]

Anyway, post anything you want to share on the topic.

ideally, someone will want to share their fwb or girlfriend.

[Undies]

as for the actual subject, i could go either way, it just depends on the person and the circumstances. of course, i have no actual experience with fwb. it's hard enough to find a girlfriend, but fwb seems like an entirely fictitious situation that would never actually happen in real life. it's like when your fat trashy friend goes to the strip club and claims the stripper gave him a free blowjob during his lap dance. it's a claim that is made all too often, but i just can't imagine that it's ever actually real.

[OP1]

Is this about time commitment, or commitment to exclusivity?

If you are ok with the terms, and you know where it's headed, maybe it will be ok.

There might be a problem if one of you is hoping this is going to get upgraded eventually, and it's not mutual.

[Amerijuanican]

as for the actual subject, i could go either way, it just depends on the person and the circumstances. of course, i have no actual experience with fwb. it's hard enough to find a girlfriend, but fwb seems like an entirely fictitious situation that would never actually happen in real life. it's like when your fat trashy friend goes to the strip club and claims the stripper gave him a free blowjob during his lap dance. it's a claim that is made all too often, but i just can't imagine that it's ever actually real.

I know, right?
This fwb thing is something I believe is a fantasy that is exaggerated in social media/tv, waiting for someone to prove me wrong!

I know there are certain workplace circumstance this claims to have happened in but I am skeptical, as it hasn't happened to me.

I'll believe it when it happens to me. Guess I could try craigslist or backpage lol

[Tropical Breeze]

I can relate to how you feel about wanting much time to yourself, TD. I don't like to be bothered with people most of the times. Doesn't seem like relationships are worth the time and energy.

Before i wanted a committed relationship over one that's based on just sex. Now i just don't care anymore. People say fwb is something of a fantasy. That's exactly how i feel about finding someone who is compatible with me. Seems almost impossible. Met many women in which there was mutual interest and attraction but never any authentic connection.

[Jessica]

Ha, true! I agree with Tropical Breeze there.. An authentic committed relationship is a much harder thing to find than friends with benefits.

I don't think there's anything wrong with FWB situations. Personally, I prefer a relationship but then I'd rather be having sex with a friend than be in an inadequate relationship.

I'm happy for you, Dice : )

[mallyboppa]

Is the right answer !

[Undies]

People say fwb is something of a fantasy. That's exactly how i feel about finding someone who is compatible with me. Seems almost impossible. Met many women in which there was mutual interest and attraction but never any authentic connection.

Really, all of my past relationships would have probably worked better as fwb. But that's just never been an option. So we date for a bit and then we don't anymore.

[tumbling.dice]

SO's are just so damn needy. Why don't they leave us all the hell alone. ?

[lode]

Whatever floats your boat dice. Personally I exclusively date sugar babies.

[Amerijuanican]

I know, right?
This fwb thing is something I believe is a fantasy that is exaggerated in social media/tv, waiting for someone to prove me wrong!

I know there are certain workplace circumstance this claims to have happened in but I am skeptical, as it hasn't happened to me.

I'll believe it when it happens to me. Guess I could try craigslist or backpage lol

Sorry, no offense Dice. Just my experience, or lack thereof.
I'm happy for you, hope it goes well.
Just that the woman is typically the gatekeeper of relationships, as to whether they work, or not.
I've tried, and the other person is usually afraid to carry on.

[Amerijuanican]

Ha, true! I agree with Tropical Breeze there.. An authentic committed relationship is a much harder thing to find than friends with benefits.

I don't think there's anything wrong with FWB situations. Personally, I prefer a relationship but then I'd rather be having sex with a friend than be in an inadequate relationship.

I'm happy for you, Dice : )

So very true!

[Irminsul]

I think that the more sexual experience you have as you age, for me at least, the component of a relationship just isn't needed and you can start understanding the environment of social sex. Social sex is just fun. We're sexual creatures, no need to tie ourselves to the confinements of religious doctrines, which is really what the struggle is when you think about. We're taught a marriage is the sanctity between two partners and mustn't be violated. Well that's bullshit.

I have my marriage, the sanctity between my wife and myself. It might sound strange to accept that I'm sexually open and how that even works, but that's our marriage and nothing gets in between that so I always said I can be socially sexual but I don't want a relationship with anybody else.

But then I found my gurlfriend and the dynamics once again change, because they mean a bit more to me than social sex. There's some genuine feelings there and a shit load of fun too. I of course don't share the same feelings as I do with my wife, nowhere near it, but I care for them quite a lot and I just want to see them happy and beautiful and getting the most out of life they can because that's all I've tried to do my whole life too. ??

I also think that when sex becomes habitual and feelings grow then it's possible for one partner to think something more is happening than just the obvious sex and that's probably where some things go a bit off track.

I don't know if I could ever put the emphasis or effort that I have with my wife into anybody else. So if I ever become single, in which I'll have to be a widow, I honestly think I'd just be like a cougar, just an older woman hopefully still with my high sex drive diving into bed with younger woman. ?? I don't think I could ever open myself to anybody like I have with her though. That's over 15 years of myself growing into who I am and everything I have become. I don't know if I'll meet anybody else deserving of it.

[Guest]

I honestly tried to have a fwb and it blew up in my face, I wish I had better advice

[Undies]

sounds like the ending to every porno ever.

Undies you're so rude ? ? ? ?

[tumbling.dice]

[OP1]

I wish I had better advice

What advice were you given, and by whom?