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Have you ever been caught masturbating?

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    Have you ever been caught masturbating?

    My neighbor actually came into my apartment while I was yanking one out to announce that his brother got murdered.

    I felt terrible.

    He asked me "what are you doing"? I said " it's personal ". He laughed and apologized for barging in like that.

    Then I gave him a hundred and sixty dollars from the stimulus check and held him and we wept.

    But yeah....super terrible time to get caught jerking it! God was punishing me no doubt with the message " people are dying and you're in the kitchen masturbating you perverted selfish son of a bitch!"

    #2
    first time i've ever had to move one of your threads FROM General or Pit TO a specific forum!

    and no, no i have not.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by ill Duce View Post
      My neighbor actually came into my apartment while I was yanking one out to announce that his brother got murdered.

      I felt terrible.

      He asked me "what are you doing"? I said " it's personal ". He laughed and apologized for barging in like that.

      Then I gave him a hundred and sixty dollars from the stimulus check and held him and we wept.

      But yeah....super terrible time to get caught jerking it! God was punishing me no doubt with the message " people are dying and you're in the kitchen masturbating you perverted selfish son of a bitch!"
      I bet he felt a bit awkward holding you, while you had a stiffy!
      I'd have told you to put that thing back in its holster before you hurt somebody with it .. lol

      Comment


        #4
        Oh, and yeah I did. 🤐

        Comment


          #5
          close calls, but i don't think i've actually been caught.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by ill Duce View Post
            My neighbor actually came into my apartment while I was yanking one out to announce that his brother got murdered.

            I felt terrible.

            He asked me "what are you doing"? I said " it's personal ". He laughed and apologized for barging in like that.

            Then I gave him a hundred and sixty dollars from the stimulus check and held him and we wept.

            But yeah....super terrible time to get caught jerking it! God was punishing me no doubt with the message " people are dying and you're in the kitchen masturbating you perverted selfish son of a bitch!"
            Why were you doing it in the kitchen?

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Amerijuanican View Post

              I bet he felt a bit awkward holding you, while you had a stiffy!
              I'd have told you to put that thing back in its holster before you hurt somebody with it .. lol
              When I found out his brother was dead it made me go limp and ruined my fantasy entirely

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by JVP View Post

                Why were you doing it in the kitchen?
                Just where I like to fap! Fap!

                Comment


                  #9
                  No, only because I followed the wise and witty advise of the great Quentin Crisp:

                  Click image for larger version

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                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by JVP View Post

                    Why were you doing it in the kitchen?
                    Potato fetish.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Men will invent a machine for anything. I'm still laughing my ass off.
                      Watch Masturbation Machine tube sex video for free on xHamster, with the amazing collection of Solo Boy hardcore porn movie scenes to download and stream!

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