This praiseworthy, lovely, and Divinely inspired thread was inspired by Undies making a comment about lamenting the fact that he has a penis.
If you are female, I'm sure having a vagina has it's challenges and afflictions as well, but having a penis is like being under the influence of the Devil himself on a regular basis.
For those who don't know, I named my dick "Beastly the Bishop", beast of the Apocalypse, because it's good to give your penis a name, otherwise you have a total stranger making most of your decisions for you.
Vaginas Menstruate and don't always taste like they smell (delicious
), but scrotums don't smell good either and I'm guessing dick doesn't usually taste good unless it's been very recently washed (I don't know, never tasted one).
(I actually went on a pilgrimage in New York to the shrine in honor of the Jesuits that the Indians violently tortured to death. It was a long walk that took a long time, basically had to live like Indians, never changed our clothes, and no bathing day after day.
Well, I actually got a wiff of some of the feminine odors coming from the female armpits and genitalia and it was way different than from males... and I kinda liked it.
).
But no, envy guys no longer, or wonder what it's like having a penis. It's torture. And boners can often be innapropriate and happen at random when you don't want them to, then refuse to happen when you want them to.
And I have menstruated out of my dick too. I had blood clots coming out of it larger than marbles and was in a wheelchair , wearing depends drenched in blood.
That is what happens to me when I have my period. I don't want to hear you ladies bitching about your period anymore. I was leaving trails of blood on the floor when I had mine.
For a while I had a catheter in and that catheter was drenched in blood that dried and became crusty. Well, catheters have a tendency to keep moving back and forth inside the urethra, especially when you sit down or stand up.
So, it felt like something hard and rusty going in and out of my cock like sand paper or something. On top of it, my dick got infected by the bloody crusty catheter, only intensifying the pain and agony.
Then when they pulled the catheter out, it didn't want to come out because a piece of the crust caused it to get stuck at the tip, so the nurse had to pull multiple times.
Then afterwards when I urinated, the urine came out way faster than ever before, it just shot out and burned like I was pissing out toilet bowl cleaner or like I had a shard of broken glass stuck somewhere.
So, I couldn't piss all at once. I'd have to let out a little bit, then hold it, let out a little more, then hold it, and so on and so forth, groaning the entire time.
I have also had two STD's where I was groaning while urinating.
So yeah, "my penis had seen better days", I told the nurse.
Do you have any nightmares involving your penis or Vagina? Do share!
If you are female, I'm sure having a vagina has it's challenges and afflictions as well, but having a penis is like being under the influence of the Devil himself on a regular basis.
For those who don't know, I named my dick "Beastly the Bishop", beast of the Apocalypse, because it's good to give your penis a name, otherwise you have a total stranger making most of your decisions for you.
Vaginas Menstruate and don't always taste like they smell (delicious
), but scrotums don't smell good either and I'm guessing dick doesn't usually taste good unless it's been very recently washed (I don't know, never tasted one).(I actually went on a pilgrimage in New York to the shrine in honor of the Jesuits that the Indians violently tortured to death. It was a long walk that took a long time, basically had to live like Indians, never changed our clothes, and no bathing day after day.
Well, I actually got a wiff of some of the feminine odors coming from the female armpits and genitalia and it was way different than from males... and I kinda liked it.
).But no, envy guys no longer, or wonder what it's like having a penis. It's torture. And boners can often be innapropriate and happen at random when you don't want them to, then refuse to happen when you want them to.
And I have menstruated out of my dick too. I had blood clots coming out of it larger than marbles and was in a wheelchair , wearing depends drenched in blood.
That is what happens to me when I have my period. I don't want to hear you ladies bitching about your period anymore. I was leaving trails of blood on the floor when I had mine.
For a while I had a catheter in and that catheter was drenched in blood that dried and became crusty. Well, catheters have a tendency to keep moving back and forth inside the urethra, especially when you sit down or stand up.
So, it felt like something hard and rusty going in and out of my cock like sand paper or something. On top of it, my dick got infected by the bloody crusty catheter, only intensifying the pain and agony.
Then when they pulled the catheter out, it didn't want to come out because a piece of the crust caused it to get stuck at the tip, so the nurse had to pull multiple times.
Then afterwards when I urinated, the urine came out way faster than ever before, it just shot out and burned like I was pissing out toilet bowl cleaner or like I had a shard of broken glass stuck somewhere.
So, I couldn't piss all at once. I'd have to let out a little bit, then hold it, let out a little more, then hold it, and so on and so forth, groaning the entire time.
I have also had two STD's where I was groaning while urinating.
So yeah, "my penis had seen better days", I told the nurse.
Do you have any nightmares involving your penis or Vagina? Do share!
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