Sobriety is my cross, my mistress, total and complete misery, far worse than death!
Spiritual writers refer to the cross as being represented by one of the most important women in Scripture, almost as important as the Virgin Mary:
Matriarch Leah, unwanted spouse of Jacob, whose whole life was one of being rejected, abused, being envious of her husband's other wife whom Jacob loved: Rachel...
...being mistreated by the both of them despite her being the most important of the two spouses (whom the Messiah and most important Prophets like Moses would descend from).
With each child Leah thought "now my husband will want me.". Her hopes were in vain, and she was despised, unwanted, and unappreciated, until she went to her grave.
But she was favored by God, for her suffering and misery bore much fruit. And so, I gave my cross a name (Leah), and Jesus said " to be my follower you must carry your cross (Leah) daily and follow me".
Sobriety has become my cross, my Leah.
The girl I have loved more than all other females combined just happened to be named "Lia" (Ecclesiastical Latin version of Leah) and her rejecting me sent me jumping off a three story building onto concrete (as you already know), I literally "fell for her".
Coincidence or destiny? Leah was destined to be my cross , and she represents rejection, unrequited love, the worst cross. Leah also means , in Chaldean " Mistress". So, suffering and affliction + misery = my mistress, my cross, my lover.
Lia's middle name is "Michelle " , which means "who is like God". So, my cross, my misery, Sobriety has a middle name, and is " like God". What was God's lot but misery and suffering , rejection, tears, and crucifixion.
Ill give my cross a last name. Lia's last name I wont mention for confidentiality purposes, but it is found only in Kazakhstan, which has a Sun flag.
My two favorite male historical figures are Benito Mussolini and Cyrus the great of Persia, whom Jews called their Messiah, despite him not even being Jewish
Well, in the Old Testament, Leah's husband Jacob (which means Mussolini) is represented by the sun, in Joseph's vision, and Cyrus means "of the Sun", and my religion comes forth from Japan, which has " the flag of the rising sun", like Kazakhstan.
So, my Cross, my mistress is Lia Michelle Mussolini. I shall carry her, be nailed to her, and die with her shouting in the agonizing darkness, "Father! Why have you forsaken me!"
There is no other destiny. Without the cross and misery, my mistress, there is no resurrection!
Oddly enough, some called the death and upside down hanging of Mussolini where he was urinated on, spit on, and used as target practice, a "Calvary" and the crucifixion of Jesus is called a "Calvary".
Well, in Shinto, there is a word for " hanging upside down" which means "to suffer greatly". The cross means " to suffer greatly ". It was my confirmation that Il Duce and his death was one of a Co-redeemer. He, like Jesus, promised to return as well.
But perhaps the story of Leah and Jesus and my beliefs about Mussolini (Esoteric Mussoliniology) = Bullshit!
But what I know is I must love Sobriety, which means I must love suffering, carry my mistress "Lia Michelle Mussolini" daily, carry my cross, and love that venomous, cruel, insensitive, sadistic bitch, who will in the end kill me! (the cross is something you die on).
Otherwise, if I hate Lia, I will keep escaping her venemous bite by using drugs, and she will retaliate. The more I embrace her, the more my tolerance to her grows, and I shall drink her bitter chalice till the last drop and fucking die with honor.
Take away Lia the cross, and you take away the beauty, power, and glory of the Resurrection!
Spiritual writers refer to the cross as being represented by one of the most important women in Scripture, almost as important as the Virgin Mary:
Matriarch Leah, unwanted spouse of Jacob, whose whole life was one of being rejected, abused, being envious of her husband's other wife whom Jacob loved: Rachel...
...being mistreated by the both of them despite her being the most important of the two spouses (whom the Messiah and most important Prophets like Moses would descend from).
With each child Leah thought "now my husband will want me.". Her hopes were in vain, and she was despised, unwanted, and unappreciated, until she went to her grave.
But she was favored by God, for her suffering and misery bore much fruit. And so, I gave my cross a name (Leah), and Jesus said " to be my follower you must carry your cross (Leah) daily and follow me".
Sobriety has become my cross, my Leah.
The girl I have loved more than all other females combined just happened to be named "Lia" (Ecclesiastical Latin version of Leah) and her rejecting me sent me jumping off a three story building onto concrete (as you already know), I literally "fell for her".
Coincidence or destiny? Leah was destined to be my cross , and she represents rejection, unrequited love, the worst cross. Leah also means , in Chaldean " Mistress". So, suffering and affliction + misery = my mistress, my cross, my lover.
Lia's middle name is "Michelle " , which means "who is like God". So, my cross, my misery, Sobriety has a middle name, and is " like God". What was God's lot but misery and suffering , rejection, tears, and crucifixion.
Ill give my cross a last name. Lia's last name I wont mention for confidentiality purposes, but it is found only in Kazakhstan, which has a Sun flag.
My two favorite male historical figures are Benito Mussolini and Cyrus the great of Persia, whom Jews called their Messiah, despite him not even being Jewish
Well, in the Old Testament, Leah's husband Jacob (which means Mussolini) is represented by the sun, in Joseph's vision, and Cyrus means "of the Sun", and my religion comes forth from Japan, which has " the flag of the rising sun", like Kazakhstan.
So, my Cross, my mistress is Lia Michelle Mussolini. I shall carry her, be nailed to her, and die with her shouting in the agonizing darkness, "Father! Why have you forsaken me!"
There is no other destiny. Without the cross and misery, my mistress, there is no resurrection!
Oddly enough, some called the death and upside down hanging of Mussolini where he was urinated on, spit on, and used as target practice, a "Calvary" and the crucifixion of Jesus is called a "Calvary".
Well, in Shinto, there is a word for " hanging upside down" which means "to suffer greatly". The cross means " to suffer greatly ". It was my confirmation that Il Duce and his death was one of a Co-redeemer. He, like Jesus, promised to return as well.
But perhaps the story of Leah and Jesus and my beliefs about Mussolini (Esoteric Mussoliniology) = Bullshit!
But what I know is I must love Sobriety, which means I must love suffering, carry my mistress "Lia Michelle Mussolini" daily, carry my cross, and love that venomous, cruel, insensitive, sadistic bitch, who will in the end kill me! (the cross is something you die on).
Otherwise, if I hate Lia, I will keep escaping her venemous bite by using drugs, and she will retaliate. The more I embrace her, the more my tolerance to her grows, and I shall drink her bitter chalice till the last drop and fucking die with honor.
Take away Lia the cross, and you take away the beauty, power, and glory of the Resurrection!
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