Audiogen and I were discussing this a bit on a different thread, but I think it merits its own discussion.
First I want to make the distinction between sex and gender:
"Sex refers to a set of biological attributes in humans and animals. It is primarily associated with physical and physiological features including chromosomes, gene expression, hormone levels and function, and reproductive/sexual anatomy. Sex is usually categorized as female or male but there is variation in the biological attributes that comprise sex and how those attributes are expressed.
Gender refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and gender diverse people. It influences how people perceive themselves and each other, how they act and interact, and the distribution of power and resources in society. Gender identity is not confined to a binary (girl/woman, boy/man) nor is it static; it exists along a continuum and can change over time. There is considerable diversity in how individuals and groups understand, experience and express gender through the roles they take on, the expectations placed on them, relations with others and the complex ways that gender is institutionalized in society."
A transgender person is defined as: "denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex."
Anyway, at what point in the dating process should someone tell you they are trans? Do you have the responsibility to tell at all? What if you are transitioned to the point of it being undetectable? At what point in your surgical or whatever transition do you need to make people aware?
Some might argue that this is private medical knowledge and that you have no obligation to say anything at all, but others might argue that you have the right to know if someone has a penis before you agree to meet up with them. I see both sides.
A few of you mentioned in the other thread that someone has NO obligation to tell you about a physical difference (such as missing an arm or a having a micropenis) before meeting up with them. Does the same go for trans people?
I read recently that there are innumerable biological marks for sex (it goes way beyond XX and XY)--if you think of sex as a being determined by 100s of "switches" on a switchboard, many people don't have all of the "switches" switched in one direction or the other. In fact, as many as 1 in 100 people have some kind of sex variation that they likely don't know about. Some folks have male and female reproductive organs and don't even know it until they begin having fertility issues. How many "switches" have to be flipped in different directions before you have to tell your prospective partner? If I have 100 switches, and 99 are flipped female and 1 male, do I need to tell all partners that I'm not 100% female? What about 98 and 2? 97 and 3? 50 and 50?
So, theoretically, you could have a vagina, but be a trans MAN. But really many of your biological markers were flipped "male" the whole time and you didn't know it. Are you really trans, then? Again, this is 1 in 100 people- that isn't nothing.
It seems smart to give people a "heads up" about your status before they agree to begin a sexual relationship with you. But I can also see where it can get more complex than people appreciate.
What do you all think
?
First I want to make the distinction between sex and gender:
"Sex refers to a set of biological attributes in humans and animals. It is primarily associated with physical and physiological features including chromosomes, gene expression, hormone levels and function, and reproductive/sexual anatomy. Sex is usually categorized as female or male but there is variation in the biological attributes that comprise sex and how those attributes are expressed.
Gender refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and gender diverse people. It influences how people perceive themselves and each other, how they act and interact, and the distribution of power and resources in society. Gender identity is not confined to a binary (girl/woman, boy/man) nor is it static; it exists along a continuum and can change over time. There is considerable diversity in how individuals and groups understand, experience and express gender through the roles they take on, the expectations placed on them, relations with others and the complex ways that gender is institutionalized in society."
A transgender person is defined as: "denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex."
Anyway, at what point in the dating process should someone tell you they are trans? Do you have the responsibility to tell at all? What if you are transitioned to the point of it being undetectable? At what point in your surgical or whatever transition do you need to make people aware?
Some might argue that this is private medical knowledge and that you have no obligation to say anything at all, but others might argue that you have the right to know if someone has a penis before you agree to meet up with them. I see both sides.
A few of you mentioned in the other thread that someone has NO obligation to tell you about a physical difference (such as missing an arm or a having a micropenis) before meeting up with them. Does the same go for trans people?
I read recently that there are innumerable biological marks for sex (it goes way beyond XX and XY)--if you think of sex as a being determined by 100s of "switches" on a switchboard, many people don't have all of the "switches" switched in one direction or the other. In fact, as many as 1 in 100 people have some kind of sex variation that they likely don't know about. Some folks have male and female reproductive organs and don't even know it until they begin having fertility issues. How many "switches" have to be flipped in different directions before you have to tell your prospective partner? If I have 100 switches, and 99 are flipped female and 1 male, do I need to tell all partners that I'm not 100% female? What about 98 and 2? 97 and 3? 50 and 50?
So, theoretically, you could have a vagina, but be a trans MAN. But really many of your biological markers were flipped "male" the whole time and you didn't know it. Are you really trans, then? Again, this is 1 in 100 people- that isn't nothing.
It seems smart to give people a "heads up" about your status before they agree to begin a sexual relationship with you. But I can also see where it can get more complex than people appreciate.
What do you all think

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