Vicky, that older lady I met at the bank, and I have been hanging out a lot lately. She used to work with homeless people and she's been giving me advice.
She keeps telling me I'm too judgemental. I told her about the subway situation and that's what she said. I told her that I changed my opinion about Led Zeppelin when I found out about what happened back in the day and she said it again. Has me thinking. I told her I'm totally switching gears in life, that I don't think social work is for me. She said it's a good decision. I realized that I was very confused. My vision for homelessness is like how they do it in Finland. Completely eradicate it. But we don't do that here. The homeless people I talk to, it's not like they particularly like being homeless but they obviously couldn't hack it at "normal" life.
It really hurt when Vicky said I was judgemental. I like to think I'm one of the least judgemental people I know. That's why I like hanging out with street people. They don't judge you. Not outwardly anyways. And you can be honest with them. And they're mostly honest too. But the drugs and alcohol can definitely alter their perception of the "truth". So yeah. Basically what I wanted to be was homeless adjacent as a job. The people who work with homeless people, they're messed up too. And I think it would be really heartbreaking to watch people cycle through the system and not progress. I remember being so frustrated with the social worker I got assigned from children's aid. My mom was really good at pretending to be normal so they decided that I was a liar and everything was fine. I remember begging this one dude to take me out of my house. Why couldn't he just do it? Why can't he do this or that? "The law," he would always reply. Sigh. I'm hoping one day I'll be rich and successful and sit on a committee or something and then people will listen to me because I have money. Working from the ground up sounds horrifying now that I've mulled it all over. What a freaking year this has been.
She keeps telling me I'm too judgemental. I told her about the subway situation and that's what she said. I told her that I changed my opinion about Led Zeppelin when I found out about what happened back in the day and she said it again. Has me thinking. I told her I'm totally switching gears in life, that I don't think social work is for me. She said it's a good decision. I realized that I was very confused. My vision for homelessness is like how they do it in Finland. Completely eradicate it. But we don't do that here. The homeless people I talk to, it's not like they particularly like being homeless but they obviously couldn't hack it at "normal" life.
It really hurt when Vicky said I was judgemental. I like to think I'm one of the least judgemental people I know. That's why I like hanging out with street people. They don't judge you. Not outwardly anyways. And you can be honest with them. And they're mostly honest too. But the drugs and alcohol can definitely alter their perception of the "truth". So yeah. Basically what I wanted to be was homeless adjacent as a job. The people who work with homeless people, they're messed up too. And I think it would be really heartbreaking to watch people cycle through the system and not progress. I remember being so frustrated with the social worker I got assigned from children's aid. My mom was really good at pretending to be normal so they decided that I was a liar and everything was fine. I remember begging this one dude to take me out of my house. Why couldn't he just do it? Why can't he do this or that? "The law," he would always reply. Sigh. I'm hoping one day I'll be rich and successful and sit on a committee or something and then people will listen to me because I have money. Working from the ground up sounds horrifying now that I've mulled it all over. What a freaking year this has been.
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