Complacency

[Youfreeme]

What is your relationship with complacency?

I am reading a book about the over-complacency of (in this book anyway) Americans. Many of us are becoming increasingly comfortable and not taking enough risks, which sacrifices personal growth. We are too happy staying at the same jobs, living in the same town, stagnating intellectually and in other ways. The book claims:

"Americans are living comfortably and contently with what life has handed them. By sheltering ourselves from the new and different, it’s hard to see what is lost by standing still. But if you look at the data, we’re seeing a shift in the fabric of American society—from losses in new startups and economic growth to more instances of segregation and inequality. It’s not too late to change course and re-embrace the restlessness that has long defined America" (Tyler Cowen, The Complacent Class).

So how about you? What have you done recently to become less complacent with your life? I have a checklist that the author published of activties we can do to decrease complacency-I'll post it in the next post. How many of them do you do? Share which ones you do reguarly, and if you try any of them, let us know!

[Youfreeme]

I liked this list and thought some of the ideas seemed like fun. If you want, BOLD the ones that you do or have already done.

Too Complacent?

Here are a few small steps you can take toward a less complacent life. Pick 3!

Social Dynamism

• Get off of social media for a month. Don’t even announce that you’re doing it. Just do it.
• Have a civil conversation with someone you typically disagree with on social or political issues. Take the time to figure out what drives them and where their ideas come from.
• (If you’re single) Ask out a stranger in real life. In case we’ve all forgotten how to do this, walk up to someone at a bar, start a conversation, and go from there.
• Delete the four most frequently used apps from your phone for a week.
• Stop listening to music or podcasts while you’re in public and interact with your physical surroundings.
• Go to lunch with someone in your office from a different department.
• Go to the movie theater, without looking in advance, and choose a movie that you wouldn’t normally see.
• Explore a music genre you are not familiar with until you find three songs you really like.
• Talk to your Uber driver… about something other than Uber.
• (Bonus) Grocery shop exclusively at a specialty grocery store for a month, such as an Asian food market.

Intellectual Dynamism

• Write an article defending the opposite political view of what you believe. Try to be as convincing as possible!
• Take an online or evening class that has nothing to do with your career or existing talents.
• Next time you get upset about a political or social injustice, do something about it. Volunteer, protest, or donate to a cause.
• Use Google in funny ways. Be creative about what that means.
• Identify the quirkiest thing about yourself and double down on that trait. Find similarly eccentric people in person or online.
• Think of a product or service that should exist but doesn’t. Share ideas with friends and family at a minimum and get feedback.
• Imagine your dream job. Look for it. Apply for it even if you think you aren’t qualified. What’s the worst that could happen?
• Schedule a conversation with your boss about your future and new opportunities. If you aren’t getting what you think you have earned, ask for it.
• Judge a book by its cover: use tinder for books or go to a bookstore and pick a book based solely on its cover.
• Make a decision based on a coin flip.

Physical Dynamism

• Stop using yelp or other go-to restaurant review sites for a month. For that matter, avoid eating at chain restaurants for a month.
• Start a savings account so you can one day buy or rent the home of your dreams. Or at least have enough money to couch-surf all over the world.
• Stop using delivery-service apps of all shapes and sizes for a month.
• Try to get to a location 20 or more min away (as the car drives) without your GPS.
• Leave your phone at home once a week.
• Pick a city 50-ish miles away from you. Take a day trip. Park in the middle of town and explore.
• Make time to travel to new places outside of your comfort zone
• (Bonus) Pick a city that you’ve never lived in that interests you and apply for a job there.

https://tylercowen.com/complacent-class-quiz/ <- source, although the quiz no longer works.

[Jessica]

I think I'm not very complacent :-)

Not really any of the specific things on the list, a couple, but other things. I just don't feel complacent.

[Pete's Draggun]

Complacency is a Monogamous relationship/Marriage killer of all killers.

[Youfreeme]

Complacency is a Monogamous relationship/Marriage killer of all killers.

Tell us more?

[Pete's Draggun]

Complacency is a Monogamous relationship/Marriage killer of all killers.

Heterosexual example:

When the man becomes complacent in any relationship with a woman, her level of attraction for him will undoubtedly fall to an unacceptable number.

I only deal with a level of attraction that is 5 through 10.
0 to 4 is utterly disgusted and repulsed.

So when a man fails to show his love by continuing his courting and dating as he did when the relationship seeded and started to blossom, she will slowly lose interest in passion and resent him for not leading the relationship as a man.

Beta mentality unwantedly starts to set in.

Complacency is even worse when there's a mortgage/rent sharing and/or children involved.

Men lay back thinking they don't have to put any effort into a passionate and exciting relationship for the woman.

Then complacency really sets in.
The relationship becomes paying bills,working bad jobs, not happy with moving forward in all positive directions. Repetitive weekends of boring dinners at the same place. No focus from the man making the relationship excitingly mysterious.
Beta men are the best at this..

Then sex becomes a demand or a whiney beg job. Woman become disgusted 0 through 4.
Then cheating or divorce starts to work its way into the relationship all in the name of complacency.

Women want an Alpha man that keeps her level of attraction towards him at about or around 8ish 9ish out of ten (nobody's a 10).

An man that isn't complacent (Alpha) will maintain a courting and dating relationship well into the years and decades with his woman.

A man that isn't complacent (Alpha) will be a leader in the relationship and put passion first that makes her want to be going into the bedroom with him to feel his love whenever he takes her there.

Hence the irresistible sexual connection a woman feels for a man when he's a leader and non-complacent in the relationship.

The math is simple. Keep the complacency to a absolute lowest minimum and you'll maintain the highest level of attraction with your woman who'll want you in her every thought.

[lode]

I liked this list and thought some of the ideas seemed like fun. If you want, BOLD the ones that you do or have already done.

Too Complacent?

Here are a few small steps you can take toward a less complacent life. Pick 3!

Social Dynamism

• Get off of social media for a month. Don’t even announce that you’re doing it. Just do it.
• Have a civil conversation with someone you typically disagree with on social or political issues. Take the time to figure out what drives them and where their ideas come from.
• (If you’re single) Ask out a stranger in real life. In case we’ve all forgotten how to do this, walk up to someone at a bar, start a conversation, and go from there.
• Delete the four most frequently used apps from your phone for a week.
• Stop listening to music or podcasts while you’re in public and interact with your physical surroundings.
• Go to lunch with someone in your office from a different department.
• Go to the movie theater, without looking in advance, and choose a movie that you wouldn’t normally see.
• Explore a music genre you are not familiar with until you find three songs you really like.
• Talk to your Uber driver… about something other than Uber.
• (Bonus) Grocery shop exclusively at a specialty grocery store for a month, such as an Asian food market.

Intellectual Dynamism

• Write an article defending the opposite political view of what you believe. Try to be as convincing as possible!
• Take an online or evening class that has nothing to do with your career or existing talents.
• Next time you get upset about a political or social injustice, do something about it. Volunteer, protest, or donate to a cause.
• Use Google in funny ways. Be creative about what that means.
• Identify the quirkiest thing about yourself and double down on that trait. Find similarly eccentric people in person or online.
• Think of a product or service that should exist but doesn’t. Share ideas with friends and family at a minimum and get feedback.
• Imagine your dream job. Look for it. Apply for it even if you think you aren’t qualified. What’s the worst that could happen?
• Schedule a conversation with your boss about your future and new opportunities. If you aren’t getting what you think you have earned, ask for it.
• Judge a book by its cover: use tinder for books or go to a bookstore and pick a book based solely on its cover.
• Make a decision based on a coin flip.

Physical Dynamism

• Stop using yelp or other go-to restaurant review sites for a month. For that matter, avoid eating at chain restaurants for a month.
• Start a savings account so you can one day buy or rent the home of your dreams. Or at least have enough money to couch-surf all over the world.
• Stop using delivery-service apps of all shapes and sizes for a month.
• Try to get to a location 20 or more min away (as the car drives) without your GPS.
• Leave your phone at home once a week.
• Pick a city 50-ish miles away from you. Take a day trip. Park in the middle of town and explore.
• Make time to travel to new places outside of your comfort zone
• (Bonus) Pick a city that you’ve never lived in that interests you and apply for a job there.

https://tylercowen.com/complacent-class-quiz/ &amp;lt;- source, although the quiz no longer works.

Well... Broken quiz eh? Seems like mister Cowen became a bit complacent himself.

Seriously though this is all good. I kinda think complacency is sort of a natural state we all gravitate to if you don't put in the effort to keep yourself motivated and on track.

It takes more effort to maintain passion for work or relationships or self improvement over time. If you don't cultivate all the things you value in life they'll succumb to entropy.

[Undies]

that list mostly just told me that either i'm weird or where i live is weird. so much of it was "stop doing some thing" that i either never do in the first place, or i can't do because it's not even available within an hour of here.

[Deidre]

I'd say that fear has rendered me complacent, at times. Maybe a challenge that's awaiting me, and I should take it on...but the fear of failing overwhelms me, and I resign myself to holding back. I become complacent for fear of failing at different things. Definitely have overcome a lot in regard to this, but I get triggered at times...

I think complacency isn't always what it seems, which many chalk it up to laziness or something. But, it can have deeper roots than that.

[Jessica]

An man that isn't complacent (Alpha) will maintain a courting and dating relationship well into the years and decades with his woman.

agree. i think it goes both ways though. but yeah, a non-complacent couple will live by that "treat them as if you're still trying to woo them" mentality.

[6-eyed]

This last year I’ve been a combination of complacent and risk taking.

Laziness and old habits kept me complacent when I know deep down I want to make more bold decisions

[Jessica]

so much of it was "stop doing some thing" that i either never do in the first place

yeah i thought that, too

[Tropical Breeze]

Oh where do i begin. I ended up moving 5 times in a 6 month period. I'm still adjusting to this environment. Very different from New York and New Jersey. Even earlier, a simple activity like running, it rained an hour earlier and my route was still flooded so i made adjustments on the fly. Going thru different areas and a near encounter with a large stray dog. Where i'm from, there are people walking around or just hanging outside. Unless you are in a popular tourist area, you don't see much of that here. Life is more difficult if you don't have a car here. Many streets don't have a sidewalk. In the New York metro area you can get by without a car. I would say overall, i'm balanced between complacent and still trying to adjust.

[Jessica]

This thread caused me to check the definition of the word complacent, and it's actually just slightly different than I would have thought.

"feeling so satisfied with your own abilities or situation that you feel you do not need to try any harder"

Like, I would have thought it more close to being lazy about trying harder rather than feeling satisfied with abilities. That definition makes it sound more arrogant than lazy.

I'm now trying to think of areas where I might be complacent. There must be some. But in general, no, I still don't think I'm a complacent kind of person.

[Din Djarin]

Well... Broken quiz eh? Seems like mister Cowen became a bit complacent himself.

Seriously though this is all good. I kinda think complacency is sort of a natural state we all gravitate to if you don't put in the effort to keep yourself motivated and on track.

It takes more effort to maintain passion for work or relationships or self improvement over time. If you don't cultivate all the things you value in life they'll succumb to entropy.

I agree a lot with the bolded part. It's only an issue if you are 1) not satisfied with your own abilities or situation, and 2) are not subject to conditions that might change that comfortable sitation or force you to be busy with other abilities.

I am far too complacent. If I have to adjust to new circumstances at the moment I experience that I am right away.