Silly jokes !

[mallyboppa]

The dafter the better Heres mine !



A man walks into a pet shop and says "I'd like to buy a wasp please" the girl behind the counter says "I'm sorry Sir, we don't sell wasps... "Well you've got one in the window"

[Jessica]

Oh, I am going to love this thread!

:-)

[Amerijuanican]

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

[Amerijuanican]

She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

[Jessica]

I told my doctor that I'd broken my arm in two places...






He told me to stop going to those places :-D

[mallyboppa]

I've just got first place in a national bullshitting competition.

Well,I actually came 12th.

To be honest,there wasn't even a competition.

[Jessica]

Lol

[lode]

Two apples are sitting in the oven.

One apple turns to the other and says "It's pretty hot in here don't you think?"

The other apple turns around and screams "Oh my god it's a talking apple!!"

[Jessica]

Hahaha

[lode]

What do you call a person who saw an apple store get robbed?

An iWitness

[mallyboppa]

Did you know that Kermit The Frog and Henry The Eighth have the same middle name.

[mallyboppa]

Be careful if you're thinking of getting a rescue cat. My nan had one.

She slipped and fell one day and the cat literally sat there and did nothing.

[mallyboppa]

I bought a blow up doll today that's so realistic.. it told me it just wants to be friends.

[mallyboppa]

Paddy is fitting a kitchen in a posh house when the woman asks him if he’d like something to drink.

Paddy accepts and soon after the woman brings him a mug of coffee.

“Excellent coffee,” says Paddy.

“Thank you,” says the woman. “My husband brought it back from Brazil.”

“That’s great,” says Paddy, “and it’s still warm as well.”

[Verbe]

Why is the archaeologist sad?


Because his career is in ruins

[mallyboppa]

I once got into an argument with a pikey & he threatened to get his dad, his uncle & his brother to kick crap out me. Imagine my relief when they all turned out to be the same person.

[mallyboppa]

Some guy knocked on my door earlier today and said, "I have a parcel for your next door neighbour."

I replied, "You've got the wrong house then mate."