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    Do you struggle with poor judgement?

    Does anyone else here struggle with poor judgement?

    Oh higher power, any Kami, Spirits, or angels willing to help me. I just hate being alive, living a stupid unenlightened, confused life.

    Drug addiction is so worthless, and now that I'm sober I realize how incredibly stupid my life and behavior has been, how stupid and reckless I have been, how creepy and disgusting, how undisciplined and immature! Being a drug addict is just gross! It kills not only the addict but harms so many innocent people!

    Oddly enough, being aware of that just makes me want to go back to using drugs!


    Please kill me soon Lord! Maybe there is a place for me other than earth.

    I'm too old for this immature stupidity! When sober I can't stand seeing people high or being around it, I can't stand who I am, can't stand what I've done, can't stand a look in the mirror, while at the same time, I just want to go back to using.

    God help us, and reward those whom I have hurt with my poor judgement! Even those whom I have offended at TF! I am notorious for saying the stupidest things sometimes!

    #2
    not usually. good judgment is a much greater struggle for me.

    Comment


      #3
      You are long long long.............................................. long way from being sober.

      Takes weeks, months, maybe even a year for your brain chemistry to revert back to baseline... You are possibly drug free, but not sober..

      You are still living in imaginary land.

      The things you cant stand are the demons wanting what you cant have..

      While I dig your enlightened spirit and devotions to high power.. Remember flesh you be, Be HUMAN for a while. (Not spirits/drugs) It might be painful, but you will grow..

      Comment


        #4
        Sounds to me like you're on the right path so far. Keeping free of drugs is a huge step and you should be proud of yourself. If you focus on the past, you're just going to be stricken with negative emotions that'll just hold you back.

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          #5
          Hey Matthew Mussolini recommended reading: In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Mate

          Gabor Mate (too lazy to spell his last name correctly) is a physician who has worked closely with addiction as well as childhood trauma. His book is based upon the hypothesis that 1) addiction is caused by trauma and 2) almost everyone has experienced trauma to some degree and therefore experiences addiction to some degree.

          Side note, the realm of hungry ghosts is a realm in Buddhism where people become trapped by their own longings

          From what I know about you, it seems like you have experienced greater childhood trauma than most, and therefore have greater addictions to overcome

          But I think nearly everyone experiences addiction, poor judgment, and compulsive behaviors to some degree.
          Last edited by Meliai; 09-22-2021, 02:35 AM.

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            #6
            Does anyone else here struggle with poor judgement

            yes..but only when registering for forums

            Comment


            • Amerijuanican
              Amerijuanican commented
              Editing a comment
              or dealing w/ the aftermath

            #7
            addictions are caused by the mind having a lost soul in the early stages of life like childhood..

            Ive heard this and experienced that because parents just throw ya to the side.. much the time its the lost presence of who to tell your stories to. Having a pet as child can help that tho.

            If ya need an imaginary friend to talk to,, booze, drugs are that outlet.. before ya know it, your imaginary friend is taking over your life.. Ive not had that friend take over life, but I can see quickly how he can..

            Comment


              #8
              Originally posted by Meliai View Post
              Hey Matthew Mussolini recommended reading: In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Mate

              Gabor Mate (too lazy to spell his last name correctly) is a physician who has worked closely with addiction as well as childhood trauma. His book is based upon the hypothesis that 1) addiction is caused by trauma and 2) almost everyone has experienced trauma to some degree and therefore experiences addiction to some degree.

              Side note, the realm of hungry ghosts is a realm in Buddhism where people become trapped by their own longings

              From what I know about you, it seems like you have experienced greater childhood trauma than most, and therefore have greater addictions to overcome

              But I think nearly everyone experiences addiction, poor judgment, and compulsive behaviors to some degree.
              I love Gabor Mate

              He also was a Jewish baby during the Holocaust and talks about how much that caused him problems in life.

              I've heard him talk about "Hungry Ghosts" too and wrote what he had to say in my journal.

              He also gives interesting talks about mice that are separated from their mothers at young ages, abused mice, and drug addicted mice.

              Comment


              • Meliai
                Meliai commented
                Editing a comment
                he's a very insightful person.
                and I just get this vibe from him that there's a lot of complexity going on there. One of those people I would like to invite for dinner. you know, the whole if you could invite 5 people living or dead to dinner. Gabor Mate is up there for me!

              #9
              Originally posted by Osquirrell View Post
              You are long long long.............................................. long way from being sober.

              Takes weeks, months, maybe even a year for your brain chemistry to revert back to baseline... You are possibly drug free, but not sober..

              You are still living in imaginary land.

              The things you cant stand are the demons wanting what you cant have..

              While I dig your enlightened spirit and devotions to high power.. Remember flesh you be, Be HUMAN for a while. (Not spirits/drugs) It might be painful, but you will grow..
              True

              Comment


                #10
                Originally posted by 6-eyed View Post
                Sounds to me like you're on the right path so far. Keeping free of drugs is a huge step and you should be proud of yourself. If you focus on the past, you're just going to be stricken with negative emotions that'll just hold you back.
                Thank you.

                Even when I don't relapse on drugs. I relapse on being immature. Best to not think of the past or things out of my control.

                Comment


                  #11
                  Originally posted by Meliai View Post
                  Gabor Mate is a physician who has worked closely with addiction as well as childhood trauma. His book is based upon the hypothesis that 1) addiction is caused by trauma and 2) almost everyone has experienced trauma to some degree and therefore experiences addiction to some degree.
                  Originally posted by ill Duce View Post

                  I love Gabor Mate

                  He also gives interesting talks about mice that are separated from their mothers at young ages, abused mice, and drug addicted mice.
                  Click image for larger version

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                  • Meliai
                    Meliai commented
                    Editing a comment
                    its a hard knock life for the mice, Pete

                  • Pete's Draggun
                    Pete's Draggun commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Meliai

                    ???

                  #12
                  Originally posted by ill Duce View Post

                  Thank you.

                  Even when I don't relapse on drugs. I relapse on being immature. Best to not think of the past or things out of my control.
                  You have come to the right place then!

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