Proverbial Apology Thread

[neonspectraltoast]

I've been absolutely awful, and I'll spare you the excuses.

I don't feel I know any of you. So maybe you can imagine. If you don't know me by now...faces that I see time and again ain't that familiar.

It would be dumb of me to try and assure anyone of anything at this point. But there is a much brighter side to me.

Usually shrouded in darkness.

All I can assure you of is I realize there's a problem. Some days I'm prescient enough to fix it; some days I'm lost. I desperately need to wake up and be,, somehow, cleansed of the thick, viscous, bile that has been my life.

I got told on hip, as some may recall, it's uncanny to apologize and I should never do it. Maybe so, but I love all you guys a real lot, and I do mean all of you. I can't remember what I've said, but I ought to know words can hurt. For some self-centered reason I imagine none of you giving a damn, though.

But I can say I didn't mean any of it.

Thank you all for helping me. I'm trying to have an identity, but it's difficult. Just know there is sweetness beneath all this vitriol.

I'm going to increase in love, not in hate. I don't care how dumb I am anymore.

It's all stupid. I don't know what I'm talking about. I certainly don't completely understand any of you or look through you.

I have not seen the nipple on your souls.

[Undies]

we're all dumb. that's called being human.

we're also all (mostly) friends. which means accepting each other's dumbness. if we were all perfect, there would be nothing to learn from each other and everything would be pretty boring.

[Matthew Mussolini]

I've been absolutely awful, and I'll spare you the excuses.

I don't feel I know any of you. So maybe you can imagine. If you don't know me by now...faces that I see time and again ain't that familiar.

It would be dumb of me to try and assure anyone of anything at this point. But there is a much brighter side to me.

Usually shrouded in darkness.

All I can assure you of is I realize there's a problem. Some days I'm prescient enough to fix it; some days I'm lost. I desperately need to wake up and be,, somehow, cleansed of the thick, viscous, bile that has been my life.

I got told on hip, as some may recall, it's uncanny to apologize and I should never do it. Maybe so, but I love all you guys a real lot, and I do mean all of you. I can't remember what I've said, but I ought to know words can hurt. For some self-centered reason I imagine none of you giving a damn, though.

But I can say I didn't mean any of it.

Thank you all for helping me. I'm trying to have an identity, but it's difficult. Just know there is sweetness beneath all this vitriol.

I'm going to increase in love, not in hate. I don't care how dumb I am anymore.

It's all stupid. I don't know what I'm talking about. I certainly don't completely understand any of you or look through you.

I have not seen the nipple on your souls.

I love you Andrew, God loves you, the Virgin Mary loves you, Rebecca loves you, Jesus loves you, the Holy Spirit loves you, the Archangels love you, your guardian Angel loves you, Rachel and Benito Andrew Mussolini love you, Jacob loves you, the entire Holy Roman Empire loves you.

I admit to being offended when you compared my love and honoring the dead, to me putting my penis in a prostitutes mouth, but I understand I can be a very annoying person, and I have done some very awful immoral things.

I should never be the one to make myself look like a good person or holy, because I am far from it.

I love to share the coincidences that I feel have meaning, but I treat it with skepticism, and know that sometimes things just happen by chance or coincidence, like when a broken clock gives the right correct time.

It's just some of the things I encounter are more remarkable than that, more unlikely than that, and seem like they have a message attached to it from the other side. It is the only thing that actually prevents me from laying down in front of a train again, jumping off a building again, hanging myself or shooting myself.

My religious convictions are the only thing that inspires me to do deeds of charity, believe eyes can see what I do in secret, motivate me to be honest, motivate me to not steal, increase my compassion and empathy, keep me law abiding!

I know Pete's Draggun doesn't believe in such things, and he thinks it is harmful for me apparently, along with other members at the forum. But he is a very good person that I believe will have a great reward on the other side for his kindness, righteous deeds, generosity. And he does those good noble deeds not believing that some God or unseen entity will reward him. He does it out of pure charity, the most charity I have encountered from an online benefactor when I was struggling, and I have unshakeable conviction that he will be rewarded.

Jesus said "I was hungry and you gave me to eat..." People will respond "When did we see you hungry and give you to eat.." and Christ's response was "What you did for the least of my people , you did for me, come have your eternal reward" (Matthew 25). And Pete's generosity I have not seen come from Christians to that degree, to help me when I'm starving. He didn't do it to please God or some sentient being for some reward. He did it to help another suffering person. I'm amazed and will be forever moved and touched by that.

I had other people at this forum who don't even like me, help me out when I was starving, without cash or food stamps, and it was too cold to pan handle. I am in debt to this forum, and if I ever make over a hundred thousand dollars a year, mark my words, I will donate a hundred thousand dollars to this forum. Take me up on that!

I know you don't like all my talk about religious stuff. I understand it can be thoroughly nauseating. It's just, that is how I cope, the only thing that makes me feel better living in impoverished environments, around sick impoverished people.

So, online, I type my views and the interesting things that happen, which I believe to be paranormal, and motivate me to be more virtuous, have higher moral standards, and do good deeds.

I wish I could find something else, but this life is very short. My happiness can only come from a power and sentient being that is greater than myself. Beauty, charm, and riches are fleeting, fragile, deceptive. So, I turn where my heart , soul, mind, and conscience tells me to turn.

And I thank people for their criticism. And I thank you Andrew for challenging my beliefs and testing my patience. Even your disrespect and insults, they are not without merit, and always worthy of consideration.

With Total sincerity,
Love,
Matthew Janes!

[neonspectraltoast]

They all want to suck a cunt. I'm different. The many woes of the world cut me to the quick.

They're "alphas". It's their defining characteristic.

But a few of us are real live human beings.

[Youfreeme]

I will answer your proverbial apology with a platitude, since it seems in theme.

those-who-matter-dont-mind-and-those-who-mind-dont-matter-quote-1.jpg

[Tropical Breeze]

Bernard Baruch??? I thought that was a Dr. Seuss quote. Good quote either way.

[Verbe]

Hehe proVERBial eh, I like it. Apology accepted dork 😁😘

[Mustard Tiger]

thought you fucked off to famousland??🤣🤣

[Matthew Mussolini]

Hehe proVERBial eh, I like it. Apology accepted dork 😁😘

Aww...that was sweet!

[neonspectraltoast]

Looks like Verbe's starting to notice me.

[neonspectraltoast]

Nobody is getting famous, even American Idol.

They literally have special schools for future stars to attend.

I mean, it's not impossible -- sometimes the mold is broken -- but in most cases it's grooming, to some degree.

[neonspectraltoast]

I took everyone off ignore, but I'll let you know if that changes.

[Verbe]

Omg of course I notice you neon, you know that some of your content isn't interact able so ya know

[6-eyed]

I took everyone off ignore, but I'll let you know if that changes.

Ah yes, here’s the reverse ignore announcement

We see lots of ignore announcements. But I guess there’s a first time for everything