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  • Pet Grief Loss

    I wanted to post this here, because I believe a lot of you empathetic, animal loving souls. It's been more than 2 weeks since I lost my beautiful Tortie Baby Ruby, and yet I am still mourning her deeply and painfully. My Mum and family and friends keep trying to reassure me that Boobies (my nickname for Rubes) lived a long and loved life for a cat, and that is true, but the pain of her loss and without her company still stings .

    She was alive for nearly half of my own life (I am 40) and miss her deeply everyday.

    The advice I keep getting (oh you can get another cat/kitten) really pisses me off, you would not say that to a grieving parent or parents who just lost a child.


    Maybe I am being over sensitive but Ruby was a big part of my life. I feel like so much light and happiness is gone now that she crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

    I would appreciate some kind advice from others as to how you coped after the death of a much loved and cherished pet.
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  • #2
    Sorry to hear about the loss of your family member pet. It took me years before I was ready for a new one. During this time it is even harder with this lock down and isolation. Perhaps consider volunteering at an animal shelter no kill place right now. Or fostering perhaps? I am sure there are ways to help shelters at this time.

    I know losing a loved one is hard, pets included. Getting out amongst people helps, but we are locked down here, so volunteer is the best medicine right now. Busy mind keeps your mind off the loss. Getting out always helps. try and find ways to be amongst people. That is the best advice I can offer. Sitting at home and wallowing in it is not healthy.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Beach Ball Bitch
      Sorry to hear about the loss of your family member pet. It took me years before I was ready for a new one. During this time it is even harder with this lock down and isolation. Perhaps consider volunteering at an animal shelter no kill place right now. Or fostering perhaps? I am sure there are ways to help shelters at this time.

      I know losing a loved one is hard, pets included. Getting out amongst people helps, but we are locked down here, so volunteer is the best medicine right now. Busy mind keeps your mind off the loss. Getting out always helps. try and find ways to be amongst people. That is the best advice I can offer. Sitting at home and wallowing in it is not healthy.
      That is a nice idea matey, will consider that strongly once the COVID crisis is gone.

      Going to be a fair while before i can replace my fur baby, I really get upset and frustrated when told I should get over it and she was only a cat, style of so called 'comfort'

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      • #4
        I have no solid advice, it just takes time. I still haven't got a new dog after I lost my last one. Somehow it feels like he can not be replaced, and gettin a new one would feel like that. I don't have the room for a big dog either atm, so that makes the choice easy :P But different ways to deal with it for diff folks I reckon. Some might benefit by getting a new animal friend much sooner I'm sure.

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        • #5
          [REMOVED]
          Last edited by WritersPanic; 12-02-2020, 10:48 PM. Reason: Ragging on someone who has suffered a loss can't be made "cool".

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          • #6
            Sorry that you lost her. In time, the pain of losing her can be replaced with gratitude that you had her in your life. It sounds like you gave her a happy life, and if she could do it over again she would probably still want to be with you.

            Wishing you comfort
            "I like big butts and I can not lie"
            - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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            • #7
              Sorry for your loss Ampol. It looks like your cat loved the outdoors judging by that photo.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by JVP
                Sorry for your loss Ampol. It looks like your cat loved the outdoors judging by that photo.
                She certainly did. We have a nice big backyard that she loved to relax in, and in a quiet street, she also loved exploring the neighbours and their yards too (we once got told off cause she kept urinating on the neighbours plants lol)

                a good friend told me that in time when I think about her, I will smile and remember all the good and fond times, and I hope she is right.

                Just right now I feel like all the light and love in my life is gone. Appreciate your kind words.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by OP1
                  Sorry that you lost her. In time, the pain of losing her can be replaced with gratitude that you had her in your life. It sounds like you gave her a happy life, and if she could do it over again she would probably still want to be with you.

                  Wishing you comfort
                  Thank you, means a lot..
                  She kept me together through many stressful and painful moments in my life. She was my best friend.

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                  • OP1
                    OP1 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    You're welcome!

                • #10
                  Time is the best medicine for a pet loss.

                  Everyone copes differently. When I lost my childhood dog, I didn’t wanna get a replacement because she was irreplaceable. My sister coped by buying 2 new pups of the same breed 1.5 years later. I couldn’t do it myself. A decade later I bought a new dog of a different breed, color, and gender. It was a good coping mechanism for finally moving on.

                  I’m not blatantly saying “go get a new cat” right off the bat, because I know what you’re going through and it ain’t easy. But keep an open mind to the possibility whenever you’re ready. A new cat would love to have you as it’s owner.

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                  • #11
                    You mean food providers. I don't buy this idea that cats see humans as their owners :-D

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                    • #12
                      Originally posted by 6-eyed
                      Time is the best medicine for a pet loss.

                      Everyone copes differently. When I lost my childhood dog, I didn’t wanna get a replacement because she was irreplaceable. My sister coped by buying 2 new pups of the same breed 1.5 years later. I couldn’t do it myself. A decade later I bought a new dog of a different breed, color, and gender. It was a good coping mechanism for finally moving on.

                      I’m not blatantly saying “go get a new cat” right off the bat, because I know what you’re going through and it ain’t easy. But keep an open mind to the possibility whenever you’re ready. A new cat would love to have you as it’s owner.
                      Thank you very much for those comforting words. I appreciate that advice a lot.

                      Really astonished by the outpouring of sympathy and kind words i have received, it means a great deal to me, and shows what a great community of decent people this forum is.

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                      • #13
                        Just put down my oldest female Golden Retriever (12 1/2 years old) "Avery" on Wednesday the 10th.

                        For two weeks she limped around with bad arthritis in the right shoulder blade.

                        Vet could only prescribe Gabapentin for pain relief. I said, "put her asleep for me".
                        Dr. Kevin, my vet told me as a friend, it's what he would do as well.

                        Best decision I've made by my self with a pet's quality of life..

                        She's reunited with Misty now. Couldn't ask for anything better.

                        Save yall's sorry's, I'm delighted she's not in any more pain. Wish the same could be legally done with humans. Just a quick 30 second shot poke of overdose anesthetic into the bloodstream and done done. ☠

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                      • #14
                        Injections would've done wonders for Avery.

                        Thanks for your post Lady Beach

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