Do you have a favorite joke?

[Matthew Mussolini]

I don't think I do actually.

After I got banned from this site , when I logged in I thought I would be banned again so I said,

"I'm off to the troll Camp with my home girl Anne Frank
We're gonna huff some gas and get real baked".

That doesn't exactly qualify as funny, but some assholes found it clever.

[neonspectraltoast]

You're the joker.

[Matthew Mussolini]

How does a Jew make coffee?
Hebrews it!

HAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Matthew Mussolini]

I'm still working on my construction joke....

What does neonspectraltoast hate about Jews and Russian dolls? They're so full of themselves.

Why did the stoner's gymnasium close down? It just didn't work out.

What do fat stoners do in the summertime?
Stink

What do tweakers do in the summer time?
Peak!

Talk is cheap? Ever listened to a Jewish lawyer?

Beach Ball Bitch and an artist had a competition. It ended in a draw.

What did the fairy say of his gay lover's hemroids?
"I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it."

What did Jessica get from being too nice to the forum Cows? Spoiled milk.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return when you throw it? My severed dick: "beastly the Bishop."

You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

Hitler said: I said "glass of juice", not "gas the Jews"!!! Did you know Jesus was a Jew?
Gestapo replied:
" I did Nazi that coming.
Did Jew?"

So, I traded my food for meth and decided to eat my clock to kill some time. It was super time consuming, thought I.

[Matthew Mussolini]

Why is Joseph Stalin such a bad liar?

He's a ghost.

You see right through him.

[Matthew Mussolini]

What do you do after you eat a vegetable? You put the bones back in the wheelchair or bury them.

What do you do after you eat a fruit? You come out of the closet.

[Matthew Mussolini]

If I changed my forum name it would be "suq maddiq."

What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison!

So I got this for Christmas.
With a note from Santa saying "now your days are numbered bitch!"

(Those are calendars.)

[neonspectraltoast]

My favorite joke is my favorite for obscure reasons, but is as follows:

A man goes into a pet store on Christmas. He says he's looking for a squirrel that can sing.

So the pet store employee says, "Well meet Chet! He sings Christmas songs when you hold a match under his feet!"

She lights a match, holds it under Chet's left foot, and he begins singing...

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!"

She holds it under his right foot and he sings...

"Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree!"

Finally she holds it between Chet's legs and he sings...

"Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire!"

[rolling]

what do you say to a meth head in a suit?.....''will the defendant please rise''

what did the meth heads daughter say after losing her virginity?.....''get off me dad yer crushin my smokes''

6 meth heads are sitting at a table..what do you have?.....a full set of teeth

where should you hide stuff from your meth head room mate?....under his work boots

[Matthew Mussolini]

what do you say to a meth head in a suit?.....''will the defendant please rise''

what did the meth heads daughter say after losing her virginity?.....''get off me dad yer crushin my smokes''

6 meth heads are sitting at a table..what do you have?.....a full set of teeth

where should you hide stuff from your meth head room mate?....under his work boots

Funny,
but I can prove to you via YouTube that I still have all my teeth.

[Matthew Mussolini]

Also, when Meth first came out in Japan , it was called "Philipon" (which means love for work) because it made people work harder, improved concentration, and made them more alert and motivated.

So your joke about meth making people lazy is false. My last job I lost cuz of covid, but I would not have been able to hold the job without meth.

[Matthew Mussolini]

Why do French people love eating snails? They don't like fast food.

What do you call a fly with no wings? You call it a walk.

I have many jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, none of them work.

[rolling]

Funny,
but I can prove to you via YouTube that I still have all my teeth.

you wont when you are a 60 year old tweaker...but you already know that

[Matthew Mussolini]

you wont when you are a 60 year old tweaker...but you already know that

My previous dealer (who I called Mother Teresa) was in her sixties , and I couldn't detect or see any missing teeth.

She looked relatively healthy compared to alcoholics I've seen.

I have yet to meet a single tweaker who looks like those poster tweakers for the anti meth propaganda.

Those people would probably be very unhealthy sickly people even if meth wasn't in their lives.

Jonathan Davis, lead singer of Korn shoots up over a gram a day, and has been using meth since high school. Korn has been around since the early 90's.

To my knowledge he hasn't lost his teeth, and he does in one day , ten times more than I do on average.

I also have yet to hear of someone dying of a meth overdose.

Alcohol is legal and people drink themselves to death all the time or die from the withdrawal.

By the way, I plan on getting assassinated before reaching the age of 60.

That said, meth addiction is bad and I'm actually in zoom rehab meetings trying to quit and have cut way back.