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Do you find you keep hurting people with your words?

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    Do you find you keep hurting people with your words?

    My words just really hurt someone and I had no clue what I was saying would have that effect.

    I'm really getting sick of this happening. She has a very hard life.

    Evil will implode on itself.

    As you guys know , I say some fucked up stuff, and I just said it at the wrong place and the wrong time and don't want to get into too many details, but really hurt someone.

    I hate God for making this stupid world and for forming me in my Mother''s womb! I hate God for all the stupid things I do that I wouldn't do , if the son of a bitch would tell me not to do that or give me the graces I pray for (like prudence)!

    Absolutely, stuff like this is the fault of God, because if he is omnipresent and omnipotent, he could inspire me to avoid shit like this and it keeps happening.

    Anyway, she wants me dead and isn't joking. Can't say I blame her, but I'm not going into details. God Bless!

    #2
    I used to. But that was on purpose (in the moment, anyway, and then later I'd regret it and dislike that version of myself) so I knew what I had to change.
    If things I said by accident hurt people.. that's harder to control. I guess partly learn what "society" thinks about everything.
    There are opinions and ideas I hold that some people find hurtful, so I don't say them, because I don't need to.
    But some people find it harder to understand which things the majority don't like.

    And on the other hand people get hurt, and that is their choice, and if you feel you said nothing you judge as wrong, then it might just be the other person's problem.

    The fact that being hurt is a choice is one of those things that upset some people though.

    Comment


      #3
      I'm really more the opposite and often don't say things for fear of hurting someone. I'm trying to get better about saying things directly without worrying so much about how the other person will take it.

      There's a way to go about it. If you're being honest and truthful but with consideration for the other person then you can't really control how they react and shouldn't feel bad about it.

      But if you were just lashing out and there was no truth and honesty in what you said, then I think all you can really do is take ownership of your words. Apologize, show them you feel bad, all that jazz. If they don't want to accept your apology there's nothing to be done really

      I like seeing this more human side of you, duce. More threads like this, less Mussolini ; )

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by ill Duce View Post
        My words just really hurt someone and I had no clue what I was saying would have that effect.

        I'm really getting sick of this happening. She has a very hard life.

        Evil will implode on itself.

        As you guys know , I say some fucked up stuff, and I just said it at the wrong place and the wrong time and don't want to get into too many details, but really hurt someone.

        I hate God for making this stupid world and for forming me in my Mother''s womb! I hate God for all the stupid things I do that I wouldn't do , if the son of a bitch would tell me not to do that or give me the graces I pray for (like prudence)!

        Absolutely, stuff like this is the fault of God, because if he is omnipresent and omnipotent, he could inspire me to avoid shit like this and it keeps happening.

        Anyway, she wants me dead and isn't joking. Can't say I blame her, but I'm not going into details. God Bless!
        I think deep down you're a good dude and definitely intelligent, however that shard shit can take over the best.

        Keep battling on mate, you seem to be going better lately. Hopefully you can patch this one up and keep on the path. ??

        Minus the fanatical religious rants you are a good poster who I listen (read) without objection.

        I know I could be in for a wild ride when I start but sometimes its heartening to read your life experiences from your perspective so keep rolling the good road ??

        Comment


          #5
          I’ve been the opposite these last several years. Especially offline. Most of you might not think so because y’all know me by my online presence. I have a good social filter, tried to get along with everyone, and I’m the kind who tried to avoid drama and conflict with those around. This was me offline.

          As a side affect, I became too passive and allowed people to use and take advantage of me. So I had to make a character transformation and start standing up for myself, and stop being too damn nice all the time.

          Not caring about pleasing everyone is a good exercise to bettering your inner self respect.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by 6-eyed View Post
            I’ve been the opposite these last several years. Especially offline. Most of you might not think so because y’all know me by my online presence. I have a good social filter, tried to get along with everyone, and I’m the kind who tried to avoid drama and conflict with those around. This was me offline.

            As a side affect, I became too passive and allowed people to use and take advantage of me. So I had to make a character transformation and start standing up for myself, and stop being too damn nice all the time.

            Not caring about pleasing everyone is a good exercise to bettering your inner self respect.


            So......My Interpretation Of Your Post Is.......Regardless Of Your Attempts Of "Transformation".......

            You Are Still The "Nasty Little Piece Of Work" We Have Grown To Love And Live With.........



            Cheers Glen.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by GLEN...... View Post



              So......My Interpretation Of Your Post Is.......Regardless Of Your Attempts Of "Transformation".......

              You Are Still The "Nasty Little Piece Of Work" We Have Grown To Love And Live With.........



              Cheers Glen.
              Lol I love you Glen.

              To clarify, my character transformation was about my personality offline. My online persona hasn’t changed much at all(as far as I know)

              I give less fucks about pleasing everyone. Most people don’t appreciate people pleasers anyway

              Comment


                #8

                Same, 6

                One thing I've realized about people pleasing is that when you spend too much time concerned about the feelings of others, you disregard your own feelings. Then those whose feelings you were trying so hard to treat carefully like glass end up turning around and walking all over your feelings. Just crunching that glass under their boots like it's nothing lol

                So yeah. Nothing good comes from people pleasing

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Meliai View Post
                  Same, 6

                  One thing I've realized about people pleasing is that when you spend too much time concerned about the feelings of others, you disregard your own feelings. Then those whose feelings you were trying so hard to treat carefully like glass end up turning around and walking all over your feelings. Just crunching that glass under their boots like it's nothing lol

                  So yeah. Nothing good comes from people pleasing
                  Narcissists love it

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by ill Duce View Post
                    My words just really hurt someone and I had no clue what I was saying would have that effect.

                    I'm really getting sick of this happening. She has a very hard life.

                    Evil will implode on itself.

                    As you guys know , I say some fucked up stuff, and I just said it at the wrong place and the wrong time and don't want to get into too many details, but really hurt someone.

                    I hate God for making this stupid world and for forming me in my Mother''s womb! I hate God for all the stupid things I do that I wouldn't do , if the son of a bitch would tell me not to do that or give me the graces I pray for (like prudence)!

                    Absolutely, stuff like this is the fault of God, because if he is omnipresent and omnipotent, he could inspire me to avoid shit like this and it keeps happening.

                    Anyway, she wants me dead and isn't joking. Can't say I blame her, but I'm not going into details. God Bless!
                    Everyone we meet is different, and we can all be a challenge in our own way. And it's not just how we deal with it, but also how they deal with it.

                    One type I keep having to deal with in life, is the type who act like they are chill, then you say something that triggers them. And you don't know why it did.

                    You get accused of saying something in a hidden meaningful way they don't like, when you didn't mean it that way at all. And their claws come out. You tell them what you meant and they disagree. It was your tone...is what I hear. I always end up bending for these people, they never bend. And they tell me I have a problem. Then I don't hear from them anymore. Is this Bipolar Personality? I took Psychology years ago but don't remember all of it lol.

                    Comment


                    #11
                    Originally posted by Meliai View Post
                    I'm really more the opposite and often don't say things for fear of hurting someone. I'm trying to get better about saying things directly without worrying so much about how the other person will take it.
                    You need more Dutch people in your life. Or New Yorkers, I hear they're the second best in being delightfully uncomplicated direct (after the dutch of course) :P

                    Comment


                    • Meliai
                      Meliai commented
                      Editing a comment
                      New Yorkers are my favorite. I'm still on the fence about the Dutch : p

                    #12
                    Originally posted by Amerijuanican View Post

                    Everyone we meet is different, and we can all be a challenge in our own way. And it's not just how we deal with it, but also how they deal with it.

                    One type I keep having to deal with in life, is the type who act like they are chill, then you say something that triggers them. And you don't know why it did.

                    You get accused of saying something in a hidden meaningful way they don't like, when you didn't mean it that way at all. And their claws come out. You tell them what you meant and they disagree. It was your tone...is what I hear. I always end up bending for these people, they never bend. And they tell me I have a problem. Then I don't hear from them anymore. Is this Bipolar Personality? I took Psychology years ago but don't remember all of it lol.
                    It can be a number of disorders.

                    Well, this girl was always talking about wack stuff, so I thought I had permission to do the same. Who knows. She is full of double standards though.

                    My main concern is that I really hurt her and she did trust me and open up to me about a lot of stuff , so this could cause her a lot of grief , and she's already a prostitute who has been gang raped and when her brothel was robbed she was pistol wiped and forced to stand naked at gunpoint for a long period of time.

                    She's also had her nose broken and other problems, so I don't want to be that guy who makes an already miserable life that much more miserable.

                    There was a time I didn't care about the pain and suffering in the world, but with the good Lord and the help of the Kami (Spirits) , those days are gone and I want to only ease the world's misery and wish everyone were happy and euphoric!

                    Comment


                      #13
                      Sometimes words can hurt a lot more than broken bones, as I have had both.

                      Words can haunt you for the rest of your life, where broken bones can heal relatively well and cause you not much discomfort years down the road.

                      Comment


                        #14
                        Originally posted by Jessica View Post
                        I used to. But that was on purpose (in the moment, anyway, and then later I'd regret it and dislike that version of myself) so I knew what I had to change.
                        If things I said by accident hurt people.. that's harder to control. I guess partly learn what "society" thinks about everything.
                        There are opinions and ideas I hold that some people find hurtful, so I don't say them, because I don't need to.
                        But some people find it harder to understand which things the majority don't like.

                        And on the other hand people get hurt, and that is their choice, and if you feel you said nothing you judge as wrong, then it might just be the other person's problem.
                        I bascially live by this bolded principle whenever I am discussing stuff with anybody.

                        But:
                        The fact that being hurt is a choice is one of those things that upset some people though.
                        Being hurt or offended is often by choice, but far from always. Obviously I would add. I don't find it upsetting you see it differently (as you formulated it there at least), but I do find it strange if you would insist it is always by choice.

                        Comment


                          #15
                          Originally posted by Meliai View Post
                          Same, 6

                          One thing I've realized about people pleasing is that when you spend too much time concerned about the feelings of others, you disregard your own feelings. Then those whose feelings you were trying so hard to treat carefully like glass end up turning around and walking all over your feelings. Just crunching that glass under their boots like it's nothing lol

                          So yeah. Nothing good comes from people pleasing
                          Your words remind me of a page torn out of one of my journals (am I people pleasing? haha). There was a time when I was more concerned about the feelings of others than my own. Then one day I was able to see that most of the people I was trying to please had nothing but contempt for me - so I decided it wasn't worth it. Now I try to live my life in a "moderation is all" sort of way. I'm kind to people that are kind to me. However, if somebody says/does something to me just to try to get a negative reaction, then I say a silent prayer and walk away from the situation big time. It isn't always easy :-)

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