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God Tells State Representative To Kick Minor In Nuts

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    God Tells State Representative To Kick Minor In Nuts

    Kansas Rep. Mark Samsel (R) has been charged with battery after God told him to kick a 16 year old student in the nuts. Samsel was substitute teaching at a Wellsville public school when he allegedly began ranting about God, the Bible, masturbation and suicide. “Even though I didn’t want to do any of the things I did right there and this is what’s going to end me up in a manic hospital probably, because it has all the appearances of a psychotic episode or manic episode,” Samsel told investigators. Samsel also told investigators he was following instructions from God.

    The lawmaker said “God works in mysterious ways” when confronted by police over a bruise he allegedly gave a student while substitute teaching.


    What would you do if God ordered you to kick someone in the nads?

    #2
    "Sooooze" Wanted To Do It Many Times......But She Never Mentioned Doing

    It For God......



    Cheers Glen.

    Comment


    • aussiefooty
      aussiefooty commented
      Editing a comment
      Spot on.
      Hope you are going ok?

    #3
    I suppose these are people who think God ordered Abraham to kill his son and then said "just kidding" at the last moment, so it's not surprising they don't question an instruction like "kick that kid in the nuts"

    Comment


      #4
      The fact that people think they are being remote controlled is very bizarre to me.

      Comment


        #5
        Originally posted by tumbling.dice View Post

        What would you do if God ordered you to kick someone in the nads?
        In no particular order:

        1) try to verify if I have a psychosis
        2) try to find out who (or what ) is posing as God
        3) kick the person in the nuts anyway just in case it was really Gods command

        Comment


          #6
          Originally posted by Din Djarin View Post

          In no particular order:

          1) try to verify if I have a psychosis
          2) try to find out who (or what ) is posing as God
          3) kick the person in the nuts anyway just in case it was really Gods command
          I'd definitely do the first two, in that order also. But I wouldn't do 3. I'd just say "sorry God, but I'm a decent person. When was the last time you've taken a vacation?"

          Comment


          • aussiefooty
            aussiefooty commented
            Editing a comment
            Be careful that you don't get done for assault.

          #7
          "go home god, you're drunk."

          Comment


            #8
            Originally posted by Jessica View Post
            ...so it's not surprising they don't question an instruction like "kick that kid in the nuts"
            I wish there had been a "kick that kid in the nuts" story during Sunday school.

            Comment


              #9
              Originally posted by tumbling.dice View Post

              I'd definitely do the first two, in that order also. But I wouldn't do 3. I'd just say "sorry God, but I'm a decent person. When was the last time you've taken a vacation?"
              Your choice.. If it was really God he will strike you with lightning

              Comment


                #10
                Originally posted by Din Djarin View Post

                Your choice.. If it was really God he will strike you with lightning
                I've taken my knocks before, dude. I refuse to tolerate a bully.

                Comment


                  #11
                  Originally posted by tumbling.dice View Post

                  I've taken my knocks before, dude. I refuse to tolerate a bully.
                  You don't know why God orders such a thing, He works in mysterious ways.. It might be to curb overpopulation (you have to kick pretty hard)

                  Comment


                    #12
                    Originally posted by Din Djarin View Post

                    Your choice.. If it was really God he will strike you with lightning
                    In the nuts.

                    Comment


                    #13
                    For the greater good.

                    Comment


                      #14
                      Originally posted by Undies View Post

                      In the nuts.
                      The western image of God must have been based on someone's lower-middle class alcoholic dad. When He's sober and things are going His way then all is great, but if something goes the tiniest bit wrong or He's been drinking (or is hungover) then He starts beating the wife or telling His kids how worthless they are. Or lets His kid get nailed to a cross.

                      Comment


                        #15
                        Originally posted by tumbling.dice View Post

                        The western image of God must have been based on someone's lower-middle class alcoholic dad. When He's sober and things are going His way then all is great, but if something goes the tiniest bit wrong or He's been drinking (or is hungover) then He starts beating the wife or telling His kids how worthless they are. Or lets His kid get nailed to a cross.
                        I'm pretty sure the whole "no false gods" rule was based on the kids preferring their step dad over him.

                        Comment

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