What's the funniest thing you ever said out loud?

[Irminsul]

Like where the most amount of people actually were drawn in to what you said and laughed.

Mine was at the Denver Zoo and we were watching the Rhino's and there was a person in there and they were putting the food around so the rhino's would eat and we could watch, and there was a pretty big crowd around and I didn't mean to say it as loud as I did, I was just saying it for my friend because I knew he'd get it, it was a play on Jurassic Park.

So anyway I said accidentally way too loud.. No, the rhino doesn't want to be fed he wants to hunt!

And my friend immediately started pissing himself laughing and everyone was looking at me and laughing too and I dunno if they got it, or maybe they just thought I made it up but people were smiling at me all day in that zoo after.

Maybe it was my accent that made it funnier I don't know.

[Audiogen]

The most amount of people I've made laugh that I definitively recall is during a college presentation where the assignment was to sell a product to the class as if they were board members for a company or business investors or something like that. I teamed up with 3 women and we chose a feminine product to sell, some type of purse or something like that and I forget exactly what I said but I think it was more the fact that I was pitching the product which made people laugh. I don't really have an exuberant speaking style unless I genuinely get into a topic so me trying to do the whole "You may be wondering why I'm up here..." salesman schtick was probably funny.

I have a vague recollection of speaking at a high school assembly and making the auditorium laugh, which actually would have been more people than the college assignment but I have no idea what I was talking about during that. I could have been speaking on behalf of the baseball team or it might have been some school project as well.


I got a good laugh at a house party from a large crowd by telling this stupid stoner joke, I had told the joke amongst a couple of my close friends and one of them suggested I do it...

So we were in a pretty big circle passing the joint around (puff puff pass rules) and I take one hit and start to tell the joke, it goes "This teacher is doing a spelling lesson for a 1st grade class and they are going over parts of the human body. He writes on the chalk board e - a - r ear. A student raises his hand and asks 'How do you use that in a sentence?'" I take the 2nd hit, look to my friend, stick out the joint to offer and full of smoke inhalation I say "heere" . But you make the h silent to make it sound like a homophone of ear.

Part of what made it so funny was it completely went over my friend's head who I was passing the joint to and we just stared at each other stoned (no pun intended) face for a few seconds.

[Undies]

Biggest number of people is probably at our annual meeting at work. One of those things where all the society types in town get together to stroke my boss's ego. Most years I have to make a speech, so I usually just go up there and bullshit for 10 minutes. I don't even think I'm all that funny at the time, but I always have the whole room laughing the entire time. Maybe because I'm the only one who even tries to be funny all night, or maybe just because I totally don't fit in there so my whole speech is like a novelty thing for them.

I think the hardest I made people laugh recently was also at work. The maintenance guy came into the room where a few of us were talking and said "guess what I got last night", and I immediately replied "herpes?" I don't think he got the joke, but everyone else laughed long and hard at that one. Probably helps that he's kind of a creepy old guy who considers himself a ladies' man.

[Din Djarin]

Ok, one slightly similar thing comes to mind after reading the OP: we were at a stoner festival (Alperstedter See, roughly near Erfurt btw: Stoned from the Underground) and a band with a bit of a cult status in the genre was finally about to perform. They're called Lowrider ( Amerijuanican you heard about them??, they're from Sweden and their great album Ode to Io and their inactivity afterwards caused them to be regarded as such. Heavily recommended! )

Anyway, the vocalist was doing a speech how great it all was and said something like great to be here with all of our friends, and me and my intoxicated friends were doing that South Park thing like 'I'm not your friend, pal!, I'm not your pal, buddy" etc. But we did it a tad too loud obviously as a bunch of people could laugh about it, but several others further away in the crowd could not appreciate it :P

[Jessica]

I've been thinking about this question ever since I first saw the thread, and I still can't think of a specific time. I think I'm only really "funny" to people I've gotten to know very well, and feel extremely confident around. The exception is when I'm at work. I think being the shopkeeper just means people regard me in a way they don't otherwise, and I kind of have their attention by default. A few weeks ago I made several different groups of customers laugh in one go. It wouldn't be funny if I tried to repeat why; it was situational. But I enjoy it :-) That's when I make the most people laugh, when I'm here in the shop. It's partly that I don't behave in the professional manner that people expect. The unexpected often makes people laugh.

[neonspectraltoast]

The time I remember was when we were on work vacation and I told a girl I'd impregnate her. It was meant as a joke...everybody laughed.

[Verbe]

Apparently when I said "DMX is smoking crack with angels now" that was pretty funny. But I've definitely said funnier stuff. The people I joke around with, we have stupid inside jokes that would not make any sense to anyone else but it's pretty funny to me

[mallyboppa]

Went to a medieval show in a castle in Spain once and when the white Knight vanquished the black one he shouted to the crowd "shall we let him go " and I shouted Back real loud "Cut his Fucking head off " to be fair a few people did actually laugh at that but some nah !

[Jessica]

The other day when a small child was disinterested in choosing a postcard for grandma, I said "it'd be more fun to send one to yourself really, wouldn't it!" and judging by that kid's reaction, this was apparently the funniest thing I've ever said.

But honestly I think kids are a bit like dogs and they're reacting to the tone of voice, and I was using my talking-to-very-little-kids voice.

[Amerijuanican]

When I was 18, me and my date went to see Return of the Jedi and at some point in the movie, Darth is talking to one of his commanders and mentions Luke is coming, when asked how he knows, Vader said "I felt him". Her and I both burst out laughing, and nobody else laughed, but we got some odd looks. Lol..

Guess that shows where our minds were!

[Jessica]

lol

[Din Djarin]

When I was 18, me and my date went to see Return of the Jedi and at some point in the movie, Darth is talking to one of his commanders and mentions Luke is coming, when asked how he knows, Vader said "I felt him". Her and I both burst out laughing, and nobody else laughed, but we got some odd looks. Lol..

Guess that shows where our minds were!

Although its technically Star wars blasphemy...:

[Amerijuanican]

?

[Meliai]

Once when I was in Vegas my sister was playing poker and I was loitering around the table being bubbly and probably very annoying to the poker faced serious gambling crowd. There was a cute guy at the table from Texas and I wanted him to pay attention to me haha so when he won a hand I said "Luck be a Texan tonight!" And he cracked up even though I didn't even think it was that funny lol, I was just blurting out dumb shit

That was not the funniest thing I've ever said but it's my proudest funny moment because dude was being super serious and I made him laugh

I make people laugh a lot and it always catches me off guard because I never feel like what I'm about to say is that funny before I say it. Maybe it's more my delivery

[Jessica]

lol! it worked, he noticed you :-)

and yeah, delivery for me, for sure. i've mentioned many times how the things that get most misunderstood online are the things that most make people giggle irl

[Din Djarin]

I harvest laughs (as well as being interpreted correctly right away) succesfully 'in real life' more often as well which i also attribute to delivery :P