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Stuff that seems to happen only whilst stoned

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  • Stuff that seems to happen only whilst stoned

    So I'm a bit stoned (shocking, I know).

    I walk into the next room where wife and daughter are watching a cooking show. As the hostess is talking, with a thick, hick/country accent, I clearly heard her say that she was preparing Mushroom-Cheesecake subs. My first thought was that the hostess probably had enough mushrooms already.

    Wife rolls it back to reveal that I mistook her and that it was to be a Mushroom-Cheesesteak sub. The title also says as much on the screen.

    But I KNOW what I heard. Damnit

  • #2
    i'm not even stoned, and a mushroom cheesecake sub sounds kind of good right now.


    • #3
      • Forgetting what I'm laughing about
      • Bongs and/or bowl pieces breaking


      • everything bagel
        everything bagel commented
        Editing a comment
        I've broken more bongs than I care to count.

    • #4
      I only break my bongs when cleaning and haven't broken one for years now. ?

      I'd say.. Only when I'm stoned... Nah I dunno. I got nothing.


      • #5
        i don't think i've ever broken a bong, although the bowl part of my bong has broken off in the stem a couple times.

        back in my constantly stoned days, i would kind of regularly space out while holding my bowl and it would just sort of fall from my hands. broke a few that way.


        • #6
          I used to buy a 2-hole cork, tubing and a thistle tube to make a wine bottle into a hookah.
          587184_ecommfullsize.jpg They always broke around the neck from too much heat or when I was cleaning them. Scientific supply stores were more common back then. It's where you went for chemistry sets (I made bombs), Microscopes (I looked at pot really close), Telescopes (fucking Saturn mannnn) and Erector Sets (I skipped that one and went directly to girls and cars). You don't see those kinds of stores anymore. But Edmund Scientific has a web site as does Americans Science and Surplus (who also have a store, somewhere).

          Or these people:
          150 mm Thistle Tube Borosilicate glass Used for the direct introduction through a stopper of substances into a flask Frequently utilized in osmosis demonstrations Specifications: Top O.D. 38.4 mm / 1.5" Stem O.D. 7.4 mm / .29" Overall Length 220 mm / 8.6"
          Attached Files


          • #7
            During today's session with buds and a few vapes, I happened to see an insect running about on the window. It was a Mantis, and it was chasing something the size of fruit flies. It was about a centimeter long and very fast.


            • #8
              For several minutes it seemed like every site I went to was using that same purple motif they use at HF. Then I realized it was every site. Because my old school VGA connector was loose.


              • #9


                • Undies
                  Undies commented
                  Editing a comment
                  yeah, that's it! i just mentioned in the chat thread about how it seems like every third house in cleveland was putting on their own fireworks show tonight. this is roughly what the sky looked like in every direction the whole time i was driving through the city.

                  yes, this would be an exaggeration. but not by all that much.

                • WritersPanic
                  WritersPanic commented
                  Editing a comment
                  The trees are so high here that we mostly hear them as opposed to being able to see them. That's why there are so many people doing it here. They can only see the ones over their street. We also have "geniuses" who try to improvise. I literally watched a neighbor use a launch tube that was too wide for the charge he was lighting.

                  When it went off, it only rose about 4 feet before falling into the gutter, still burning. As expected, it exploded seconds later and threw flaming material all over his truck, the street, the yard across the street. As we're putting the various small fires out with hoses, I overhear him saying that he thought the bigger tube would give it more altitude. His logic was exactly wrong and the guy has no clue how a gun actually works.

              • #10
                Only whilst stoned...

                I met a tribe of imps in my backyard one evening. A hedgehog and I watched as they danced around the lights that lit the path to the bench where I sat. They wanted me to come down and dance with them, but I didn't know how to shrink to their size, and it was still early enough that dancing naked in my backyard might have caused some problems with the neighbors. So the imps waved to me and danced on.

                Oh, and I think they had some kind of symbiotic relationship with the hedgehogs, where the imps are allowed to ride them, as long as they fed them, or something.

                I miss out on a lot of things out of fear of offending others. The moral of this story: listen to the hedgehog-riding imps your backyard, and dance naked in the moonlight.


                • Jessica
                  Jessica commented
                  Editing a comment
                  did they have saddles to protect them from the hedgehog prickles?

              • #11
                They did!?

                They were very spindly themselves, so their limbs rested between the quills easily.


                • #12
                  I smoke mj to give me an appetite, as my body hates me and likes to torture me with chronic nausea. Unfortunately, I've been so sick this past week that weed was actually making it worse (there's a senzu bean joke in there somewhere).

                  Doing much better now, smoked for the first time in days and, while walking down the hall from my living room to my bedroom, it felt like the apartment was moving around me, and I was walking in place.


                  • #13
                    Originally posted by Mobius_Stripped
                    Doing much better now, smoked for the first time in days and, while walking down the hall from my living room to my bedroom, it felt like the apartment was moving around me, and I was walking in place.


                    • Amerijuanican
                      Amerijuanican commented
                      Editing a comment
                      That is how the pill form I've been messing with lately does when it kicks in. Like not just a head buzz, but a body buzz too.

                  • #14
                    I'm reminded of something funny that happened in HS. My friend was driving us to school that morning and we were passing a pipe w/ hashish in it. While I was taking a hit, he said something that cracked me made me blow back through the pipe, sending the hashish flying out of the pipe, into the window channel of the car- that piece the glass slides between, one piece is rubber, the other some kind of felt-covered strip. ('72 Chevelle). It sat there, glowing orange, while I was trying to pry it out with my keys and get it into the pipe again.

                    Didn't help I was fighting back laughter, and my friend was laughing deliriously and making funny comments. We were still laughing in the parking lot on our way in. Too good a buzz to waste sitting in a classroom, that's for sure.
                    mother moon -she's calling me back to her silver womb,
                    father of creation -takes me from my stolen tomb
                    seventh-advent unicorn is waiting in the skies,
                    a symptom of the universe, a love that never dies!