Bad experience at an AA meeting. I'm Pissed!

[Matthew Mussolini]

I left an AA meeting today shouting.

So, I admitted to them that I sometimes smoke meth (almost every day) because when I don't have it I'm unmotivated, tired, miserable, and angry. When I have it I'm happy, motivated, full of energy, prayerful, contemplative, more thoughtful, more insightful, and improved concentration.

I said, "I have quit many times. I make it two weeks and I'm still miserable as hell and my brain doesn't know how to produce dopamine or find joy, pleasure, or motivation without the drug.

The immediate reply was "YOU'RE GLORIFYING DRUGS"!

Okay fine...but the way the dude was talking to me was loud, intense, obnoxious, and abrasive, so I responded with the same combative attitude and the leader of the meeting shouted "NO CROSS TALKING".

I yelled at him and was almost to the point I think where I was gonna freak out in front of a room of about 25-30 people, and when I get pissed in front of a crowd of people my adrenaline gets going.

I was just getting ready to shout "FUCK YOU, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" Then this lady starts talking and makes me feel a little more calm.

If they would have asked me to leave I would have said "CALL THE FUCKING COPS BITCH OR COME MAKE ME LEAVE!"

It could have been really bad and then this lady said kind words and came and gave me a hug.

I left the meeting and was shouting though and this guy comes up to me and asks for my contact info.

Anyway, I kinda hurt my reputation and don't really give too much of a shit but I don't like it when people start talking all loud and obnoxious and condesceding. That shit makes me react with the same unruly passions because I'm not going to be intimidated by someone or let them talk to me like their training a dog and he's essentially shouting "BAD DOG!"

I'm fine accepting correction usually, but this guys tone, body language, and the passion within his voice as he rebuked me really pissed me off!

[PacificDude]

Matthew Mussolini I know a little something about AA, Matt. The crazy dude was out of line big time, not you. Best thing to do w/people like that is to nod your head and say a silent prayer to calm yourself down. Glad you didn't let him push you to the breaking point, etc. Let go, and let God - that's part of their jargon. But AA (like a lot of churches) seldom practices what they preach. Glad you made it out of the meeting w/your dignity still intact! Peace :-)

[JoeKing]

My name is Walter and I am an alcoholic. I walked into a AA meeting 32 years ago. In my experience AA practices what we preach, and what I learned quickly is "Take what you want and leave the rest." It took me quite a while to find a meeting I loved, like everywhere, there are assholes.

You do glorify your drug of choice but I wouldn't have said anything in an open meeting. Getting someone angry doesn't help anyone and does nothing for the rest of the people at the meeting.

[GLEN......]

My name is Walter

Is Your Name Really "Walter"......???

For All These Years I Thought It Was "Joe"......



Cheers Glen.

[SpaceMan]

you dont remember him from hip?...in my head he is always Wally

[Jessica]

i agree with what others said, matty. that guy was out of line.
i'm pleased there was at least one person there who knew how to show compassion and understanding.
don't give up on meetings.. maybe it just takes finding the right one

[Audiogen]

It's difficult to parse the intent through text but I also know people on meth or having cravings can sometimes take things out of context. When the leader said "NO CROSS TALKING" he could have been in your corner and wanted you to carry on with your story.

The person interjecting about glorifying drugs seems out of bounds tho.

[tumbling.dice]

Maybe you'd be happier in a NA or CA meeting. I've been to those too and they seem a little more, umm...up your alley?

[Sooz]

Try doing them via zoom.

[eggsprog]

Isn't it weird that I would be allowed there after taking my daily prescribed dose of amphetamine, but you get shit for using essentially the same drug in a different form?

[Matthew Mussolini]

Maybe you'd be happier in a NA or CA meeting. I've been to those too and they seem a little more, umm...up your alley?

It's mainly this one has cuter girls and one of them often comments about things I say and she has sponsored guys before which is frowned upon , but a part of me hopes I can get her to sponsor me lol, has candles lit in a dark room which I find to have a spiritual feel to it, but an even bigger reason is the NA meetings are about 15-20 minutes bike ride across town in the winter and far longer on foot, where this meeting is right across the street (like a minute walk).

If I still lived downtown I would be going to NA.

Also, I find alcoholics to often have not the same degree of criminal history or moral bankruptcy as (especially heroine addicts and crackheads). Tweakers are a mixed bag. It depends on the purity of what they had been using, how much they had been using, whether they were properly nourishing themselves and getting adequate sleep, and whether or not they had other addictions or mental illness prior to their use.

Alcoholics are bigger assholes than tweakers on average by far (in my experience ) when they are drinking, but typically after they sober up, if alcohol was all they were using, they can be more relatable to me and have more wise profound things to say.

Where tweakers, because the drug has such bad propaganda about it and the fact that it is made out of toxic chemicals, and the fact that it is illegal, typically people who are tweakers are mentally ill or extremely irresponsible before they ever begin tweaking and bring the mental illness with them after they sober up.

Where alcohol, because it is legal and doesn't have the same propaganda, has many responsible people who use it regularly. When they become addicted to it, since they weren't mentally ill or irresponsible prior to that, they have more to offer the groups when they sober up.

(Regarding the toxic chemicals used to make meth though, propaganda doesn't want you to know that it's fairly easy to tell if those chemicals haven't been filtered out and I simply won't buy the shake or the stuff that is discolored. Meth in it's pure form is harder to kill yourself with than if you overdose on Vitamin D, and Meth doesn't' impair coordination to cause motor vehicle accidents like alcohol.

I think if people knew that about meth, there would be more responsible people using meth responsibly. The tweakers I've known came from very broken homes and very broken in many ways, as well as raised by addicts, or runaways from home, or mentally ill before they ever touched meth. So, even when they sober up, they still bring too much mental illness to meetings typically.

Alcoholics are total dumbshits or assholes usually when they are drunk and I'd rather be around tweakers tweaking anyday, but around sober company, I much prefer ex alcaholics.)

But yeah, the main reason is the location and this hot girl that comments about something I feel passionate about, who made the comment that she sponsors guys (which I was hoping maybe she said that to let me know she would sponsor me. Hey, I can dream can't I )

[JoeKing]

Except the main reason for an AA meeting is to get sober.

[Matthew Mussolini]

Isn't it weird that I would be allowed there after taking my daily prescribed dose of amphetamine, but you get shit for using essentially the same drug in a different form?

Do you take Adderal? Yeah, that is Dextroamphetamine and Amphetamine salts (if so.)

I actually was prescribed Adderal as a child and an adult, but had to get off of it because of a vocation I was pursuing and afterwards, couldn't ever succeed at getting a Doc to prescribe it again.

So I essentially Don't even really get high off the meth, just smoke enough to get improved concentration and energy levels and make it easy to get out of bed in the mornings.

[eggsprog]

Vyvanse, actually.

[Din Djarin]

Is Your Name Really "Walter"......???

For All These Years I Thought It Was "Joe"......



Cheers Glen.

"King. Walter King.

...Haha, no way! I'm just Joe King!"

[6-eyed]

Yeah I agree with Audiogen that the guy who accused you of glorifying drugs stepped out of line by interrupting you. I've never heard of cross-talking, but it sounds like interrupting if I'm not mistaken.

[SpaceMan]

expecting self control from a bunch a people who gather together because they have none seems odd to me

[SusieDerkins]

Maybe you need to be quiet and not share right away. Listen intently to the others and gather information that can be helpful. You are glorifying drugs if you are talking about how great everything is on them.